Roger the Red

Aye, Sure- Blackbeard Had Seventeen Wives Who Had Miserable Frustrating Lives For He N'er Gave 'em H*ad When He Took 'Em to Bed And The Fleas in His Beard Gave 'Em Hives Sure, Ol' Teach was no Treasure in Bed He Just Lay Like Whale What was Dead So His Seventeenth Bride Never Sniffled Nor Cried When Bold Maynard took old Blackbeard's Head RtR

Lass, Ye Know I was Teasing wit Ye-Sure and I'd Love to See Ya Wearin' anything- and Ye Looked Finer In Yer Pants and Boots than Ye Would in Mine- I Know Yer a Heart o' Gold Merry- That what Keeps the Boys Comin Back Around, Eh? RtR

So- This be the Fabled Elixir, Oh Brother Mine..(Takes the Cup from Olaf and Sniffs the Aroma ) Tis Redolent ( Cough, Cough) reminds Me Of Me Days in the Bilge-( attempts to Hand Tankard back to Olaf- Who Shakes His Head No) What- Ye Wants Me Ta Actually Drink Some? ( Olaf Nods Yes) Yer Sure, Brother? It Made You what Ye Are Today-and Pray, What's That? ( Roger Looks at the Cup, Suspiciously) Aye, Well- God Hates a Coward, Right? Slainte! ( He Drinks the Mysterious Concoction-Draining the Cup) (Wheezing) H-H-H-U-U-U-HHHH! Zounds! (Smiles at Olaf) What Now, Me Brother? RtR

So, Ye wants the Shirt off'n a Man's Back- Plus Hims Jeans and Boots to Boot, Merry? Might We Surmise that a Woman is Interested in What She Can Get off'n a Man then- While a Man is Focused on What He can get Into a Woman...I Kid, Luvs-really... RtR

Aye, and that's tellin 'em, Me Brother- and Ye'll Forgive Me Fer touchin' Toe 'pon POTC's Deck, Y'All-But We is Fambily-Adieu-RtR

Wouldst Thou Wish to Finish the Story, Mistress Bonney? or Shall I Write the Epilouge as Well-Your Choice, M'Lady. RtR

Monsieur Mission, if I May- Remember- Money Changes Everything-if the Next Two Films do the Kind of Business the First One Did, there Will be More, or a TV Series or a Cartoon or ...They will Milk the Cow unto Death, Sir- and Regarding Captain Barbossa- If the Main Conceit is that Undead Pirates Exsist, They can pretty Much do as They will , Logic and Reality Wise. And Did not Jack the Monkey Steal Forbidden Treasure in the Tag Scene of "Black Pearl" and Was Not the Monkey One of the Crew-He Turned Skeletal Quick enough-The Curse Survives- Therefore, Ergo, Etc. You Get the Picture...But Wait and See... Yours, RtR

Ahoy, Ms. Paisley-Capt.Hurriacane, Sir (touches brim of hat) The Teal Bikini Man is Mentioned repeatedly in the Latest "No Quarter Given"- Ms. Rose Calls Him " The Turquoise Bikini Man" in Her Overview of PIP-Issue also features Don Maitz's Courtroom Sketch of Yours Truly on the Back-Cover-Huzzah por Moi! POTC mentioned as Strolling Minstrels at Key West Yacht Club Party-Before My Arrival, I'm Afraid- But Thought Your Subsequent Performances Quite Excellent, Captain- Very Polished and Professional. Fair winds to Ye Both- RtR

Well- getting back to the original Question- Since We Very Rarely Meet in Closeup- I would Have to say the First thing that Attracts Me to a Woman is Her Overall Physicality- Her Figure and Bearing, Her Coloring and the Way She Styles Herself. And If the Attraction is Strong, one Draws Closer and Attempts to Strike Up an Aquaintance- at this Point, it's all About the Face-especially Her Eyes-I Like the Moments When Your Mouths are Saying One thing while Your Eyes are Having a Conversation of Their own. Not that the Mouth- and What comes Out of It-Don't figure into the Mix- The Sound of Her Voice, and What She Says, the Wit and Intelligence behind Her Words- All these Elements-Plus a Sweet Smile of Course-Are What Make A Woman Attractive to My Way Of Thinking. RtR

Thankee Merry and Bloody Mary-And Thankee most Especially Ms. Bonney for Your Contribution- And I Apologize for not Sharing More- But the Story Kind of Took over, if ya Knows what I Means- You Could Certainly write an Epilouge, if Ye Wanted to... RtR

The Zombie Pirate Lowers the Cutlass til it's Tip touches the Sand as He Watches the Lovely Young Woman Approach- A tankard in Her Outstretched Hand. "There is no Fear in this One"The Voice in His Head tells Him as He Raises the Remains of His free Hand. And as She Guides the Tankard Tween His Bony Fingers, He Hears another Voice within His Mind- A Woman's Voice-Her Voice-"Aye, I Do Not Fear You, Mariner". He Takes the Tankard She Offers and Raises it to His Cracked and Bloodless Lips. He Cannot taste the Liquor, only imagines He Feels it's Effects- It is More the Woman's Act of Kindness that gives Him the Illusion of Warmth. He is Vaugely aware of the Man at His Feet, crawling off Backwards like a Crab. "Mary, Get Away from It!"He hisses. "Thankee, Mistress"Says the Voice Within the Creature and She Smiles Slightly, Shyly. Her Friends form a cautious circle around Them, Calling to Her "Mary! Get away from that Thing!" She Raises a Hand to Assure them- "It's OK- He's not going to Hurt Anybody" She Stares into those Strange Yellow Eyes"You Aren't going to Hurt Anybody, are You?" Her Voice was in Her Head again. He Gazed Long into Beautiful Eyes-and In a Moment Out of Time all the Experiences Flowed From the Shattered Shards of His Memories into Her Conciousness- And She Knew Him, Knew His Past, His Story. His Deathgrip loosened til the Cutlass Slipped and fell in the Sand. "Tell Me , Mariner- Tell Me What You Want" She Said with Her Eyes and After a Moment His wordless Reply Came " I want -to Say-GoodBye-to Elizabeth" Mary smiled that Beatific, Understanding Smile Again "Say Goodbye to Me, Mariner" She Spoke Out Loud And at that Moment, To Him, She Was Elizabeth- His Long Dead Love " Say Goodbye to Me in this World- and Join Me in the Next One, My Love" The Pirate Drew a Deep Sigh Spoke in That Raspy Unearthly Wheeze " GoodBye, Elizabeth-Good bye, My Love" And They Stood like Statues for a Time, Till The Creature closed His Eyes and Turned His Back on Her, Stepping Back Towards the Sea. Mary and Her Friends Watched as He Went- And with Each Step, Time Took it's toll, and the Mariner seemed to Turn to Sand Before their Eyes and vanish With the gentle Breeze...

Form. Yerly Known as Fern Canyon Press, Ms. Renee- an Excellent Source for Books on Piracy , and for Affordable Swag.Your Servant, Roger the Red

The Zombie Pirate drags it's Decomposing Feet through the Sand , Lumbering in the Direction of the Noise and Revelry, the reflected Flames of the Bonfire dancing in the Creatures jaundiced Eyes. From out of the Darkness toward the Fires light, moving slowly but Steadily, the weathered Cutlass Swinging like a Scythe amidst the tall Grass, as the living Corpse surveys the scene-dark Shapes, dancing before the Flames, or writhing, Coupled in the Sand, oblivious to the Grisly Stranger amongst Them. Then a Man rises up to His Feet " I'm going for a Swim" He Smiles at His Companions-Then turns to Run toward the Beach- But Runs Headlong into the Zombie Pirate and falls backwards before Wretched Entity- It's then They See It- One Young Woman Screams as the Pirate Raises His Cutlass aboved the Head of the Dazed Man at It's Feet " What do You Want?" another Young Woman demands. The Thing Stops and Cranks it's Rotting Head Toward the Sound of Her Voice, Blinks its Yellow, Cat-like Eyes until Her Face Comes into Focus. She is Lovely, the Fires Light dancing Upon Her Smooth Even Features, Her Eyes Alive and Hair Aglow. And Somewhere, Deep in His Corrupted Conciousness, the Creature remembers...Elizabeth, His Love He left behind before that Last Voyage- THE last Voyage " What do You Want?" The Woman asks Again-Softer this Time, almost Pleading. And For Briefest instant the Pirate thinks to Answer " You, My Love" -But with this Thought Comes a Sudden Concious Awareness- It's Eyes fall to It's Own Hand - That Mass of Bone and oozing Gristle- and the Zombie Realizes the Abomination it has Become- A Dead Thing, cursed with Conciousness-An Obscenity-A Monster. " What Do You Want?" The voice brings His Eyes once More to Her Face- so Full of Life. And in a Voice like the Wind and Rusted Hinges He Replies "Rum"

I was Just Coming to the End of this Thread to Say what the Esteemed Redhand has Pretty much Stated in the Prevoious Posting- One Must Remember, that Much of Recorded History in that Day was Done by People that didn't Spell Well asking People that Didn't Spell at all "How do You Spell That?" RtR

Meanwhile, back at the Moonlit Lagoon- While the Couples frolicked and Lolled in the Sand, And the Lonely and Heartbroke sat off alone upon a dune eyeing the horizon, and a Dog did it's Business and buried it in the Sand- while The Moon Laid a Vast Shimmering Silver Coin upon the Waters, and the Gentle Tropical Breeze made the Palms rustle atop the Tall and Slender Trunks - While Lifes Grand Symphony Played upon the Shore, out there -out in the dark Water, a bit of Flotsam bobs upon the Waves- A Spar from off a old Square Rigger, Long Ago Sunk- and Clinging to that bit of Wreckage-A Man, or What once was A Man- Emaciated, near- Skeletal, the Skin stretched Taught across it's Face, Hair hanging down Around the Eye sockets in Slimy tendrils, Bony Arms draped with the tattered remnants of a Aged cotton shirt, hung limp aroud the Spar's rotted bulk as the tide drags it - Closer and Closer to the Sandy Spit that seperates Lagoon from the Open Sea- Closer, slowly-ever closer, with each Wave, til beneath the water one fish eaten Foot Drags in the Sand- and Ancient, Yellowed Eyes Crack Open-Breath held for Centuries rattles from withered lungs-and the Body Moves- One Bone thin Arm Rises up out of the Water, the Decayed fingers Wrapped around the Hilt of a Rust-encrusted Cutlass-Both feet on the Bottom, the flotsam falling away, the figure Stands in the Surf a Moment, then Agonizingly slowly begins to walk up out of the Ocean- up onto the Strand and on towards the sounds of Song and Laughter...

BTW- Whoops! Sorry Me Dear- My Bad. Rhoger the Rhed

I once met a Pirate Named Merry Pretty and Smart was She? Very. With a Smile that Could Blind and A Heart Sweet and Kind She's a Treasure no Bucko would Bury RtR

Aye, Cap'n Pete- I got "Pirates/Scientists" for Christmas-and Finished reading it Dec. 26th- a fast and fluffy lil Book-Aye, Like"Hitch-Hiker's Guide"- Only with Pirates- and Ham. Not as Funny as Eric Idle's Blurb would have Us believe, but a harmless Distraction. I am Currently Trying to finish Sandra Rice's " Sisters of the Sea"- I had the Pleasure of Meeting Ms. Rice at PIP and don't wish to Discourage anybody from Reading Her Work-BUT... Roger the Red

Thankee, Rhumba Rue- and I enjoyed Jammin with Ye at PPP-and to Those of Ye that Haven't Met Our Ms. Rue in Person, She Designs, Creates and Wears FANTASTIC Pyratical Clothing. She is a True Original and PRP to the Bone. And Ye can Quote Me, RtR

ANYWAY Ms. Paisley, what I was trying to Say is it was Hurricane ye Sees on the DVD - Plus lotsa Folks You Met at PIP-Maybe You and Me will Be on the Next One, eh? RtR

Let Me Chime in with Me Crewmate and Particular Friend, Durty Lillie- The Pirates of the Coast are a Most Excellent Crew. I wouldn't Use the Term "the Best" regarding any One Group- We All have Our Own Strengths- and Weaknesses, Aye. But POTC are very Good at What they Do-Very Polished and Professional in Their Presentations- and Way Friendly when Ye Gets to Know Em. T'was a Pleasure I hopes to Repeat- RtR

As Regards the Lass, Hugh, Amen, Sir- As regards Yer Photos, which we're all Dyin' to see, Alas! Ms. Paisley is Correct- We Cannot access that Account- By the By All, Bought the Bicycling through History DVD from Jamaica Rose at a PRP party the other Night- Mostly Atrocious- but It Does Feature Footage O' Cascabel and a Lot of Our Paradise Mates, especially the Tortuga Mutineers - And Seen Yer Own Beloved Captain, Ms. P-(and Ms.Merry-if'n Yer Out there) as well as PRP regulars Francisco de Beltrana( Jerry Reyes) and Louis Lambe-Plus in the Bonus Features Ya Gets Me Darlin' Bawdy Be Singing "Bell Bottom Trousers'-This wuz the Guy that Were Stickin' His Camera in Everyone's Face in Paradise, So We May Well See Ourselves in Part Two! FAir winds to all- RtR

Ah, Me Darlin' Lillian- Ya Got Me-And If I got to get got, I'm glad it's Ye doin' the Gettin'. Aye, Madam- 'tis a Two Way Street- These "Standards" and "Morals" some of Us Preach- for Others while We Ignores 'em Our Own Selves- Touche' Mon Ami- ARRGGH, these Perceptive PRP Women! RtR

Well, since Miss Lillie, Who be Me Particular Friend, Has Asked- Ahem- Ah, Yes...Standards... 1. Drink- either not at all, or to Wretched Excess-PIP was a Binge for Me-but t'was an Abberation- Usually Sober 2. Clothes- Wears what I Likes More than Historically correct at this Point-Mostly what I've Bought. 3. Mates- to them What I've Offended- I Apologizes-to Them what don't Accept it - get Stuffed! 4. Conquests- Love ta Flirt, But Married til Death do Us Part- or She wises up. 5. Language- Ahh, Yeah...there's another point- Doesn't really watch Me Tounge too Carefully- I mean, I do when I'm dealin' directly with the Lil' Darlin's- But Doesn't stop Me from shoutin' Obscenities at the Top o' Me Lungs, when the Mood Strikes- 6. Misc- Overall, I ain't got Much in the way o' Standards- I tries not to embarress Me Mates and the PRP- I tries, but doesn't always succeed-(sigh) Oh, Well- RtR

I met Merry in Parry-Dise and thought She was Awfully Nice Long with Miz Paisley too and The Rest of Their Crew To Praise them, I'd never think twice