Elena

Thank you S(ANN)TA !

Swab the decks w' boughs of holly

Hoist the Roger if it's jolly

Don we now our pirate trappings,

Caught me peg leg in these wrappings

fa la la la la, la la la la

From the portside to the starboard

And from transom to bow

We are covered with invading bivalves

They latched on when we were harbored,

And nobody knows how

To remove them and get the ship clear.

Barnacles, barnacles,

Give me a friggin' damn crowbar

barnacles, barnacles,

Soon they will eat this whole bay.

Said the lookout to the bosun's mate,

Do you hear what I hear?

O Cannonball, O Cannonball

I'll shoot you through the stockade wall

Ye better watch out, ye better not cry,

Get the rum out, I'm tellin' you why,

Cap'n Jack is comin' ta town

He walks with a list, talks a good game,

Blade, kiss or fist, it's always the same,

Cap'n Jack is comin' ta town.

He seizes any treasure

The rum and wenches too,

He knows if you've been bad or good

And either one will do!

Don't follow his lead, it's gonna get grim,

The only survivor likely is him,

Cap'n Jack is comin' ta town.

Christmas, christmas time is here,

Time fer loot and wine and beer,

Santa, bring your big ol' bag,

We want treasure, we want swag

Want a map from some old book,

Me I want a brand new hook

We can hardly stand the wait

Please Christmas don't be late.

I saw the cap'n kissing Santa Claus

Down below the bulwark late last night

... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Arrr! The herald angels sing,

Here's a letter from the king

Up in the crows nest, it's my watch,

Keeping warm with rum and scotch,

Icy winds and freezing sleet,

Too darn slippery to keep my feet

Yo ho ho, who wouldn't goOOOOOOO....

Silent night, holy night,

Shush the cat, douse the light

Round the back, the door isn't locked

Grab their stuff, we'll go get it hocked

Sleep in heavenly peace,

The constables' palms have been greased.

All right, ye swabs! Big finish!

Dashing through the snow

Is somethin' we ain't done,

Because we never go

Away from tropic sun,

Keep yer cold and ice,

We think it's kinda dumb

We've got our Christmas paradise

With beaches, girls and rum!

ARRR!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,

Oh what fun it is to sail the Caribbean today-ay!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas on the sea,

Yo ho ho, yo ho ho, a Santa's life for me!

Yo ho ho, yo ho ho, a Santa's life for me!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Captain Nick soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of the Jolly Roger danced in their heads.

And pa in his pjs, and I in my wrap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a dashing young pirate and eight briny Buccaneer.

In spite of his peg leg, he was lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it was Captain Nick.

More rapid than eagles his corsairs they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Barbossa and Black Bart! Sir Morgan and Red Beard!

O’Malley, Jack Sparrow, Old Sharktooth and Black Beard!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Avast, ye landlubbers, it’s our first port of call!!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the corsairs they flew,

Up sturdy rope ladders, climbed Captain Nick’s crew.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The swashbucklers dancing, though I had little proof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Captain Nick came with a bound.

He wore a red waistcoast, plumed hat and black boot,

And his cape was all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of booty, he had flung on his back,

Our generous savior, then spotted his snack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! Our gifts made him merry!

“Why shiver me timbers, it’s eggnog with Sherry!”

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as black as a crow.

The stump of his leg, clicked as he danced a jig,

Eating cookies I‘d left, baked with chocolate and fig

He had a brave face and a firm muscled belly,

And hearing his laugh, my knees turned to jelly!

He was handsome and pumped, though quite proud of himself,

But I blushed when he saw me, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a nod of the head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, while unloading the gold,

Filling stockings with treasures, such a sight to behold

Then there came a short whistle, he was finished I suppose,

And with a heave ho of the rope, up the chimney he rose!

With the Captain back safely, the crew gave a cheer,

They escaped to their ship, their getaway clear.

And I heard them exclaim, as they sailed out of sight,

"We, Gentlemen of Fortune, bid to all a good-night!"

“On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ...

12 ships to plunder,

11 cannons firing,

10 crewmen leaping,

9 sharks a' swimming,

8 rum-filled bottles,

7 lusty wenches,

6 jolly rogers,

5 gold doubloons,

4 eyepatches,

3 earrings,

2 wooden legs,

and a parrot for my shoulder - Arrr!”

Oh, the pirates outside are frightful, and their ship is not delightful,

And since they're all here to raid, let us pray, let us pray, let us pray!

They don't show signs of stopping, and they brought some guns for poppin',

Their torches are burning bright, what a fright, what a fright, what a fright!

When they finally leave our town, how we'll love to see them sail away,

And if we're lucky they'll leave our gold, And all the things we own!

The fires are slowly dying, and too many of us are crying.

And until they leave our sight, what a fright, what a fright, what a fright!

Your town's roasting in an open fire,

Gunshots're nipping at your backs,

Screaming women yelling for us to leave

And you're in terror as you're sacked.

Everybody knows a cannon and a pirate flag

Help to make the season's fright.

Town folks here with their eyes all squeezed shut

Will find it hard to live tonight.

They know that pirates're in their town,

They'll grab up lots of gold and maidens in their gowns.

And every mother's child is gonna cry

As through the streets their frightened families will fly.

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase,

To folks from one to ninety-two.

If you don't want us in your town anymore,

"Give us treasure, please do!"

We're dashing through the seas, in a two-mast pirate ship,

O'er the waves we go, laughing all the way (yo ho ho!),

The sails and skull-flag wave, making pirates bright,

What fun it is to sail and sing a pirate song tonight!

Pirate ships, pirate ships, yo ho all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to sail in a two-mast pirate ship.

Pirate ships, pirate ships, yo ho all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to sail in a two-mast pirate ship!