Biker Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my BR chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." " Never knock on Heaven's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that" ' Whatever is not nailed down is MINE. Whatever I can pry loose, is not nailed down." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy3 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 That has me laughing righ tout loud! OK, I have to share this with my friend, Melissa this very minute! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloody_Mary_Bonney Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Yes i do like my job... i mean it can get a lot worse then starbucks.... this just proves it. But why is the rum gone? Save a horse ride a cowboy! Take me away and take me farther, suround me now and hold me like holy My toes are getting pruney Also my head is round that window is square.... My name is Micheal J Kabous and i eat babies! Your toast has been burned and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumba Rue Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 ROTFLMAF!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate Petee Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I'm in the market, as it were. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Let's see.... go through another meeting with the poo-flinging ninnies I work with, or get a jellyfish wedgie... Bring on the jellyfish! Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barber-surgeon Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Hmmm...yes, a jellyfish wedgie or puzzling over (on a daily basis) why the Powers that be haven't dumped more Bleach into the gene pool.... Jellie Wedgie! Bring It On!!! "Don't worry, it's not My Blood!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloody_Mary_Bonney Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 wow... and i thought i hated my job.... you guy would seriously rather have this happen to you? dear lord But why is the rum gone? Save a horse ride a cowboy! Take me away and take me farther, suround me now and hold me like holy My toes are getting pruney Also my head is round that window is square.... My name is Micheal J Kabous and i eat babies! Your toast has been burned and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaizoku Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 lol best work story ever "A merry life and a short one be my motto" Avid the PA ren faire, or live nearby? We're trying to start a club/group to do some fun things outside of the faire! www.countyerdoubloons.com/tavern Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarborMaster Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 do you like your job? I deal in Poop. I dont like it. Whats worse is everyday is Monday. For life or until you retire. I am not Lost .,I am Exploring. "If you give a man a fire, he will be warm for a night, if you set a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate Petee Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 I DO NOW!!!! HELL YA I JUST LANDED A BAD ASS DESIGN JOB!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarborMaster Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Here is a little of my own design., its on the nose of my van., I figure a little truth never hurt anybody. Its honest.,Its humble.,and for me., it is the truth. Its what I do. From where I am standing .,most dont really have much to complain about. I am not Lost .,I am Exploring. "If you give a man a fire, he will be warm for a night, if you set a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaizoku Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 do you like your job? I deal in Poop. I dont like it. Whats worse is everyday is Monday. For life or until you retire. Aye you deal in poop and I wipe it... The many joys of the low level nursing job :/ "A merry life and a short one be my motto" Avid the PA ren faire, or live nearby? We're trying to start a club/group to do some fun things outside of the faire! www.countyerdoubloons.com/tavern Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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