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[Dorian Lasseter]

Jim,

You, are a Goode Man...

You are an Honourable Man...

You are a Brave man...

You've earned my respect even before imparting this...

I wish you and yours all the best. I hope in years to come your new children will come to understand and thank you for all you've done for them.

[Captain Jim]

Thanks, I need all of the "Attaboys" I can get.

The niece may be able to regain custody, but only by jumping through some judicial hoops, meeting some state-mandated goals, not the least of which is drug rehab. But they are ours until the neice gets it together or they graduate from college, whichever comes first.

[Red Cat Jenny]

Captain Jim,

Bless you and your family. Several times over.

You extended your hand and though it was bitten, you have saved lives. Simply put..there is no more noble task

.

Those children I am sure will be forever grateful. I hope that you are able to kep them in your care for good.

Harsh as it seems to sound, the parents (if you can call them that), most likely don't care much anyway. Or they are and will be unadmittedly glad you acted as you did. Somewhere deep inside they know they messed up and you have relieved them of some guilt and a responsibility they can't handle. They can't even be responsible for themselves.

Don't expect them (parents) to change, after a certain age, amount of damage and unaccountable freedom, most people, sadly won't. They just don't want to. I don't know how many times I have tried to explain to some people who have an "Eliza Doolittle " complex that it might make a nice play, but in real life this is who those people want to be. This is the hardest lesson to learn unless you learn it first hand. By either observing it near or in your life. Doesn't mean you should give up ever trying..sometimes you might be lucky.

I'm an optimist, give people a lot of rope and I have been one who has tried to help many times. It's been a hard lesson for a person who manages to see a little good in most people. Some people it's just buried too deep in to ever be resucitated.

Another lesson - One can't try to reason where the ability to reason doesn't exist. We think, "they must be nuts to want to live that way when I'm offering them a better life.."yet they blow it off to live the way they do. (because this is what they want) They lack the ability for reason even if they had it before. You can't look at it from your reasonable point of view. I hate to even state this, please don't think me cold. I am quite the opposite. I grew up in a total brady bunch world with loving parents, relatives and siblings. It was a tough wake up call when I got older. I have lived through some of the damage wreaked on people close to me by others like this. They are like a tornado. These people will whistle along at top speed, somehow avoid being stopped and leave a wide swath of damage to everyone they come in contact with. Believe me. As you stand there in the wreckage they'll be off to the next victim(s).

But when children or elderly (who can be just as much victims) are involved, those who are able and have a heart must intervene as you did or find some authority who can. I'm not preaching here. People can and will do what they want, but I like to think the majority give a rats backside.

Doesn't matter what your religion is or if you even have one. It takes no ancient tennet for you to care for your own kind. Not to mention animals. You can hope and pray for the niece and perhaps someday she will have a moment of clarity, I hope so. But don't stand out in the cold waiting for it. You'll hurt yourself.

Again, having seen cute, innocent little children out in public with monsters for parents and experiencing the heartbreak of being old enough to know what life will do to those poor kids in short order. I thank you for this story and hope the best for you and them always. No one could tell you you did a less than noble thing.

Jenny C

[Captain Jim]

Thanks, Jenny. I do hold out some hope for the niece, but we did what we did for those kids. I Mommy turns it around, good; I get my old life back. If not, we knew this going in. As for the sperm donor (Sponer?) he could fall off the edge of the world and I wouldn't miss him. Then again, he was once not a bad artist. Could he turn it around? Maybe, but I'm not gambling these kids to find out.

[Red Cat Jenny]

You're welcome. I hope she sees the good instead of fighting you. I wanted to clarify that if someone is down or hasn't had a chance, of course try to help them. There, there is more hope. But people bent on willful distruction of themselves and consequently those around them is a much harder climb.

[Silkie McDonough]

Jim,

I am humbled by the actions of your and your wife. These children now have a chance at a happy healthy life. The fact that they sleep through the nights speaks volumes in itself. Thanks, to you and your wife. Thank you both for being heros in this world, thank you for these lives that you have taken in, and thank you for providing hope not only to the little ones in your care but to those of us, who at times, need to see the glimmer of your shining example.

This will come back to you ten fold lad.

[Captain Jim]

Thanks, Silkie. Like I said, I usually don't vent publicly, but I had to vent this one somewhere, and you guys are it. Sometimes I just need a little reassurance from someone that what we did wasn't insane. The people that should thank us are either the cause of the problems or are less than three years old. Thanks.

[CrazyCholeBlack]

Dorian said it best, so I'll simply repeat his wisdom

Jim, You, are a Goode Man...

You are an Honourable Man...

You are a Brave man...

Since the kids are too young to say it themselves, let me say it for them.

THANK YOU!

[Red-Handed Jill]

Whether or not it was insane, it was a good and brave thing to do! Protecting those who can't look after themselves is one of the most noble things you can do.

[Patrick Hand]

that what we did wasn't insane.

Well you knew it was insane, and that it will (hopefully not) get worse.....

But it was also the "right thing to do".

but I had to vent this one somewhere, and you guys are it.

Kinda funny how we become almost a large extended family here..... But heck, if you need a place to vent, we can all understand, and will be here to offer support.

[Captain Jim]

Thanks, mates. I'm gettin' all warm and fuzzy here, a nice change for the week.

[Maeve O'Treasaigh]

Wow Jim. You and your wife are TRULY wonderful. I believe the appropriate term for the two of you are SAINTS!

I'll remember your story the next time I think I'm having a crappy day.

You guys just saved the futures of two young children who didn't deserve the bad hand they'd been dealt...you're heroes in my book.

-Maeve O'Treasaigh

[Rogue Mermaid]

Jim you and your wife are angels. Thank god you are there for those poor kids. They didn't ask for any of this and it's so wonderful that you both opened your hearts and home for them.

I've heard so many stories of drug/booze addicted moms and dads these days. It seems to be a plague of selfishness going on. I hope your neice gets it together and keeps it together. My prayers are with all of you.

[Captain Jim]

Thanks, Maeve, RM.

Update. Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF) and Child Protective Services (CPS) picked up the kids from daycare for a supervised visit with the Sponer. Its the law: he gets one hour a week, minimum. He was drug tested (as is stipulated in the DCF agreement he entered into) after the visit. To say he failed miserably is an understatement. This puts him in violation of probation for three seperate convictions (one felony) and he goes to court on the sixth for a felony assult. Will some people never learn?

Meanwhile, two-and-a-half weeks have gone by and the niece hasn't asked for a visit yet. She called once two weeks ago.

[Rumba Rue]

Jim you and your wife are life-savers.

My partner, Boats works for the County of San Diego in Foster Care, so he is exposed to the kind of things you have gone through. He doesn't talk about it here at home hardly, but I know it can really affect him sometimes.

You have a chance now to be the best parents, teachers, friends, those kids could ever have. You will be rewarded, as good comes back to you for your wonderful efforts. Goddess Bless you!

[Captain Jim]

Thanks Rumba, and more power to your partner, Boats.

On one hand I would like to see both of the parents turn about and become parents to these kids. On the other I hope the Sponer gets jail time so I can stop trying to anticipate what an unstable and unpredictable person will do.

Signed,

Armed and Avuncular

[Red Cat Jenny]

Checkin in on ye CApt Jim...Hows if goin if ye don't mind us askin?

[CaptainSatan]

I too have a bread machine.

Her name be Hsiao-Ling.

She also does windows.

-CS

[Captain Jim]

Checkin in on ye CApt Jim...Hows if goin if ye don't mind us askin?

Thanks for asking. The latest update:

The kids are fine and making progress to catch up developmentally. The boy has gotten over his separation anxiety at day-care. All is well.

The Dyspeptic Duo (as I collectively call the Sponer and the niece) had a joint, supervised and monitored visitation on Thursday. The Sponer had been telling DCF and CPS that he had been living with us in the months leading up to the intervention and placement. It was obvious to the observers that this guy has had little or no interaction with these kids, ever. The “play” between him and the son (sorry, no names here, juveniles, court case etc.) was disjointed and rough. Meanwhile the niece ignored the son and played with the daughter almost exclusively. They brought gifts in contravention of the rules. The Sponer went ballistic when told he was to be interviewed separately from the niece, and the niece refused to stay and be interviewed independently after the visit. How ballistic did the Sponer get? Slamming doors, foul language and abusive (but not physical) actions/language toward the staff. And that was before the Sherriff’s Officer showed up to serve him (and the niece) with an order to appear and explain to a judge why he shouldn’t pay child support. (Now, how do you suppose that the officer knew where to find them? Mwahahahahaha!!) Then the staff told him that the support would go to us. Ballistic again. Then he refused his drug test; goes on the books as a positive and puts him in non-compliance with visitation rules. Observations of the interaction between the Dyspeptic Duo led the staff to conclude that the Sponer is being abusive, verbally if not physically, to the niece, which is one of the reasons they tried to separate them for interviews but to no avail.

Next day (Friday) the niece was spotted, by me, walking in the parking lot of the day-care center, away from the center. As it happens I was there early to pick up the boys (mine and hers), go home and have a visit from a DCF rep who is preparing the court case against them. If I had not been there early…? She knows that this is the place where the day-care is and knows she is to have no unsupervised contact. Stupid move. No sign of the Sponer.

Meanwhile I have been told that the Sponer is making death threats against us, for “ripping his children out of his arms.” How dramatic. Until he does so directly to us or in writing the authorities can/will do nothing.

I remain,

Armed and Avuncular.

[Red Cat Jenny]

Jim.

I'm glad to hear the children are not only ok but improving. Again bless you for saving them. Every day they spend is a treasure. They are among the few fortunate such to have a second chance. What you say shows it has already made a diffrence. I'll hope for your niece, but the kids are young and if it takes years..well she'll be around I suppose. Saftety and welfare first. Hope also she is safe from "sponer". I assume the daycare guards them properly. You and your wife are a brave duo. Be careful and take care. As far as the authorities needing "positive action" before intervention on a threat. This can be frustrating. I've dealt with it at work. But I suppose they have their reasons. Although the news shows that at times this is a pound late and a penny short. Hope you remain safe and well. Spring is coming and that should be good for the kids. I'm sure your children are learning valuable lessons in compassion. You have my respect and good wishes.

[Caraccioli]

Why is it that recent independent movies insist on leaving you hanging? Is it against the Indie policy to write an ending? I suspect that they think this is a clever way to keep you thinking about their movie and to try to "reflect the open-endedness of real life". But it's not reality, it's not truly an accurate reflection of reality, it's one person or a group of person's perceptions revealed as constructed (or at least semi-constructed) fiction.

There are several movies that I would have really liked had they not left me dangling at the end. So now they go from 3 or 4 star NetFlix Ratings to 2 star. (And, for the record, I had the same complaint when I was 14 and The Empire Strikes Back pulled that gag on us. This is a big part of the reason why I consider Star Wars a better movie than TESB. Good stories have an ending (and thus, closure which often leads to the movie having a more accute point.))

[Red Cat Jenny]

They're forcing (pun inmtended) the sequel on you...

I hate movies that are great and engaging and wrap up like an elementary school creative writing project.."Oh I only have 3 lines left on the paper...and they lived happily ever after..the end." Blah!

[LongTom]

Isn't that in the spirit of the great Saturday afternoon serials of the silver age of theater? Cliffhangers, and all that? Of course, it's a lot more aggravating when you have to wait not til next Saturday, but next year. Arrr..gh!

[Caraccioli]

Perhaps I should expand a bit. I cited SW:TESB and now some think I'm talking about mainstream movies. (Saturday serials aside, it's a cheap tactic. The serials took a week or at most a few weeks to come out, big budget movies take a few years. Even when they don't (because they've filmed everything together) the SFX take a year (the POTC movies) or they intentionally delay the release (the third BTTF movie). But that aside...

I am talking about low(er)-budget indie pics that have no hope of having a sequel but which also have no decent ending or resolution, nor (apparently) any intention of having written one. Take The Comfy Chair (and keep it because I sure don't want it.) It just sort of wanders around, going nowhere new or even interesting (Plus it has these awful, out-of-focus camera shots that remind you of a movie made by someone who doesn't understand how to use the auto-focus feature on their camera - but I digress) and then just sort of ends on an absurd note that should at least be resolved somehow. Blah. The title is far more interesting than the movie actually is.

Even bigger budget indie pics do this. I was recently watching Broken Flowers with Bill Murray. It was actually pretty interesting, but it never really went anywhere. It just sort of ended without any kind of reasonable resolution to the main character's dilemma. Phu-yuck! Perhaps they should warn you that films are going to end without resolution. That way those who enjoy such stuff can enjoy them and I can eschew them. [/rant off]

[CrazyCholeBlack]

I can tell you why, at least from the perspective of having made an (all be it zero budget) indie film.

It's because NO ONE & I mean no one can write a decent script these days. I'd venture a guess that the vast majority of people writing (& yes even producing & directing) budgeted indie films learned their craft from those "learn to make films in a weekend if you pay us a ton of money" things. They are everywhere if you look in any film makers magazine. The learn screenwriteing ones are especially bad. They teach a "formula" and it's not a good formula. I can't even describe it. Sadly the idea of resolution isn't stressed as much as "name" actors. After all, that's how most people pitch a film. "Ben Aflick does a spy film", ie no one really cares about the film, it's just about the actors in it.

And since I'm on the complaint about films tract. Dear lord, please let these people making films learn how to use their over priced cameras. Specifically, make them get steady cams. I can't be the only person who gets a head ache with that jerking around camera work that these young punks seem to think gives the viewer the feeling of being there. It doesn't, unless "there" is on a ship during a storm & they haven't taken their Dramamine.