Patrick Hand Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 ...Why do they call them floppy disk, when you can't flop them.....? ...I tired to send my friend in jail a file baked into a cake..... but the disk melted...... ...What do people in China call thier good plates ? ...Why do they sterilize the needle befor a leathal injection ? ...Of course it was in the last place you looked..... once you found it, you stopped looking........ ...My computer may win at chess.... but I can sure beat it at kickboxing......! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Handed Jill Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Thanks Fancy.... I heard the on about a bullet that shot through a man's ...um...privates....and then into a woman's abdomen lodging in her uterus and causing her to become pregnant....can you imagine? Any way I think the origin ye found is much better...at least it has a ring o' truth to it! Thanks fer the link..... ..Of course it was in the last place you looked..... once you found it, you stopped looking........ so if i look in the last possible place first, and kept looking anyway, would it still be the last......or is that a blonde thing? "Congratulations Madame, that's another town you've destroyed." William Shaw I'm the "honest one" Jack Sparrow warned you about, honestly....Red Handed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted January 30, 2005 Author Share Posted January 30, 2005 YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK PYRATE IF........... Instead of a skull and crossed bones on th front of your hat.... you have "Chew Redman Tobacco" You order yer crew to fire the number six gun.... and it takes them awhile to count that high... You have an eight point buck with a cigarette danglin outta it mouth and a party hat for yer ship's figurehead..... Your scurvy crew and your inlaws all have the same number of teeth... You get worried when the ships stores are gettin low on salt possum..... Befor your crew can run out the guns, you gotta move that transmission you've been meanin to work on.... Jim Beam and Captain Morgan are the only pyrate Captains you can name... Your Mamma makes the best bar-b-que salt pork.... You can spit tobacco juice and flick boggers with deadly aim... The reason you went to sea in th first place was to get more time fer fishin... Fishin, fightin and fornicatin just come naturaly to you....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 If ye ever had a heated arguement about Cap'n Crunch be'n a real pirate... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Here's a random one for ya. Last Friday I had to design an ad featuring yachts by a manufacturer named Jefferson. They have a model called the Starship. I had "We Built This City" stuck in my head all day..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted February 1, 2005 Author Share Posted February 1, 2005 Rogue.... I had something like that happen with a Doors song..... But look on the bright side....... yachts.... sailing... pyracy pub....... you could have gone a totaly diffirent aproach........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 True, true...I have a job where I can draw a line to pyratyness, a very thin dotted line, but a line none the less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy3 Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Rogue.... I had something like that happen with a Doors song..... But look on the bright side....... yachts.... sailing... pyracy pub....... you could have gone a totaly diffirent aproach........ Someone mentioned Doors Song? Hmmmmm, me thinks it's time for some lyrics ... (yes - bnow I'm happy!_ Grandma love a sailor who sailed the frozen sea. Grandpa was a whaler And he took me on his knee. He said, "Son, I'm going crazy From livin' on the land. Got to find my shipmates And walk on foreign sands." This old man was graceful With silver in his smile. He smoked a briar pipe and He walked four country miles. Singing songs of shady sisters And old time liberty. Songs of love and songs of death And songs to set men free. Yea! I've got three ships and sixteen men, A course for ports unread. I'll stand at mast, let north winds blow Till half of us are dead. Land ho! Well, if I get my hands on a dollar bill, Gonna buy a bottle and drink my fill. If I get my hands on a number five, Gonna skin that litlle girl alive. If I get my hand on a number two, Come back home and marry you, marry you, marry you. Alright! Land ho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 *Sigh* That Jim Morrison sure was a purty man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tudor MercWench Smith Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 More of a Van Morrison fan meself - but that might have something to do with me having brown eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted February 16, 2005 Author Share Posted February 16, 2005 YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH ! I got DSL.... so now I can read the Pub in less than 3 cigarettes (I have a wierd way of telling time.......) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy3 Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 Well, Patrick, if ye be neeedin a hand with the readin or anything else, ye be sure to let me know. Prehaps I can find a volunteer to read Pyracy to ye :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted February 17, 2005 Author Share Posted February 17, 2005 Prehaps I can find a volunteer to read Pyracy to ye OH BOY! ..... DSL AND bedtime stories........ wot more could a pyrate ask for...... I didn't miss-read your offer did I.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 *Sigh* That Jim Morrison sure was a purty man... Indeed, and Val Kilmer, who played Jim in the movie, and looked so so so much like him, shore is purty too. *another sigh* Patrick Hand, congrats on the DSL! I'm jealous, as I'm sitting here with my 56K modem, which never logs on at 56K... right now it's.... let me check... 49.2... totally sux. btw, what kind of bedtime stories do ye like? Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 I don't have a computer in my apartment so I have to check the pub at work (DSL yee ha!!!) or at my best friend's apartment across the hall (dial up, but better than nothing!) I'll start a bedtime story: Once upon a time there was a scurvy buncha pirates who needed a peg leg for their captain....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 to lead them on plentiful plundering paths of purpose.... Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 So first they try hack'n the top of the mast of and use'n it. But alas, t'was too thick. So then they try use'n one of the handles off the ship's wheel, but it was too short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy3 Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Twas a bit of the mizzenmast that was meant to do the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted February 18, 2005 Author Share Posted February 18, 2005 btw, what kind of bedtime stories do ye like? Well lets see........ "The Whicked Wench who couldn't say no " "Treasure Chests - topless beaches in the Caribbean" "Bucaneer Quartly" (The tight bodice issue) "Tales to Touch your Heart " by L'Olonnois I'll have to make up some more....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy3 Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 btw, what kind of bedtime stories do ye like? Well lets see........ "The Whicked Wench who couldn't say no " ME??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 Are you a wicked wench who can't say no ? Another pyrate book, and this one is real.... "Love stories of famous pirates" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy3 Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Ahhh, me loves Romance. 'Brings to mind a kind gent with a voice so godly, he makes me feel that I be walking on clouds... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinSwords Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 :angry: Pirates are like Samurai........don't ya think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Pirates are like Samurai........don't ya think? HuH ???????? Other than they both use voilence...... what other things do they have in common.... (OK carbon based lifeforms......) Samurai and cowboys have more in common...... I've seen spagetti westerns where thier lips didn't match thier words, just the same as in Japaneese Samurai movies....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalum Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Now this brings up the enternal struggle that I've seen SEVERAL places online. Pirate vs Ninja. It's no doubt what anyone here would choose The results from such ponderings are highly amusing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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