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Posted

The Crushin' of birds I did here you say?,

a mess it does make an' the blood it does stain,

been told that the key

is to wait till reveille

an' blow all the little blighters away! :)

Yes, it be pointy…..and ye be at the wrong side o’ it.

Posted

Another one from Henry Gibson on Laugh In:

Spider spider on the wall

don't you have no brains at all

don't you know that walls been plastered?

come on down you little......spider you

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a knife in your back.

Posted

I say 'Hi!' and again for being so remiss in my attentions to the worthy pyrate pub. A small limerick can be my only recompense.

There was a venusian monk

Who went to sleep in his bunk.

He dreamt that venus was stroking his...elbow,

And woke up covered in...perspiration.

:ph34r:

Posted
I say 'Hi!' and again for being so remiss in my attentions to the worthy pyrate pub. A small limerick can be my only recompense.

There was a venusian monk

Who went to sleep in his bunk.

He dreamt that venus was stroking his...elbow,

And woke up covered in...perspiration.

Rcompense was not necessary, however, I do admire your wit!

oh the cleverness of you....

:lol:

Fancy

Posted
...now I have Indigo envy...

:lol: is that any thing like........ummmmmmmmmmm, never mind..... :D

~snow :D

with faith, trust and pixiedust, everything is possible ;)

if it be tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

IWG #3057 - Local 9

emmf steel rose player - bella donna, 2005

improv cast member and dance instructor - fort tryon medieval festival

lady neige - midsummer renaissance faire

Posted

There was a young lady called Lynn,

Who was deep in Original Sin,

When they said "Do be good,"

She said "I would if I could,"

And straight away went at it again.

Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that?

Posted

There was a young wench from crewe,

who remarked, as the pyrate withdrew,

'' The captain was quicker, slicker and thicker,

and three inches longer than you.''

:huh:

ooh....mabe a tad risk....eh?

Yes, it be pointy…..and ye be at the wrong side o’ it.

Posted

we went to the party and it was really so cool

to the times shared and the things that you do

I did have a great time but it wasn't with you

I met this lady in the privvy her name was Sue

We kissed and I told her nothing i wouldn't do

we parted and I found out her names really Stu......

Damn I hate it when that happens :huh:

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a knife in your back.

Posted

I'm shocked to hear that it turned out t' be stu,

locked in a privy without a proper view,

but now you must learn,

before you takes yer turn,

check down below, an' trust yer ships crew.

For they're the ones that went b'fore,

an' they were just as shocked an' in awe,

but now the beautys they do find,

are checked front and behind,

to tell if it's sue or stu afore ye score.

B) ...Hmmm...struggled there...

Yes, it be pointy…..and ye be at the wrong side o’ it.

Posted

well Capt. Badger, it worked out in spite of yer struggle..

:o Limericks getting a bit naugty guys...

keep up the good work! :rolleyes::lol:

Fancy

Posted
There was a young wench from crewe,

who remarked, as the pyrate withdrew,

'' The captain was quicker, slicker and thicker,

and three inches longer than you.''

:rolleyes:

ooh....mabe a tad risk....eh?

The captain's name

must have been the same

As one that I once knew

We played in the dark

and oh what a spark

Why, I think that captain was you!

Oh, wait, I pray no

I'll never forget

This gent did his part to win me own heart

And indeed is me old mate Diego! :lol:

Posted
:rolleyes: Limericks getting a bit naugty guys...

The naughtier limericks get

The more the Mods want to forget

Though they all do their jobs

On us Pyrate-type slobs

I'll slip in a bad verse or two yet

What's all this about Stew and Sue?

Is it really confusing? For true?

The best way you can tell

If it's Heaven or Hell

Is to ask them to close-dance with you

Ah, Diego, you sly ol' man-stud

You make me look lower than mud!

When it comes to the wenches

You've been in their trenches

And never came up as a dud

...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum...

~ Vegetius

Posted

I stand upon the wharf and think

that what I need's a little drink.

A tot of grog

to clear the fog

should put me back in the pink.

Perhaps a nice rum punch

will do in place of a proper lunch.

I'll sip and scheme

and mull and dream

and ponder every little hunch.

'Tis with friends I wish to raise a glass

and toast to the future, present, and past.

We'll drink our fill

of this potent swill

'til they throw us out on our... ears. :rolleyes:

OK, so I'm a bit rusty... :lol:

Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that?

Posted

I do enjoy reading these!

The naughtier limericks get

The more the Mods want to forget

Though they all do their jobs

On us Pyrate-type slobs

I'll slip in a bad verse or two yet

and it always makes me grin to just see how naughty they can get. :rolleyes:

OK, so I'm a bit rusty...

sounded good to me MadJack... but if it's some kinks you want worked out, or ya need some polishing, just let me know.

Fancy

Posted

ok, these aren't by me... I just can't get my creative juices flowing at the moment, and time is of the essence right now... but I thought y'all might get a kick out of em...

A near-sighted golfer named Leer

Was thrown off the links just last year

For being obscene

Right on the first green

'Neath a sign that read "Enter Course Here"!

Mary had a little lamb,

She kept it in a bucket

And every time the lamb got out,

The dog would try to...

Put it back in!

Seems "naughty" is down on its luck;

All its poets have chosen to duck.

So I'll write, out of pity,

This sweet little ditty ---

Which is too clean to be here! Oh, ... shucks

Fancy

Posted

what the heck, I'll give it a go...

A pirate was taking a shower

He'd been in there for over an hour

For the lass on her knees

was only a tease

and just tickled his rear with a flower

Fancy

Posted

Little Jack Sparrow

Sat in his wheelbarrow

drinking his morning rum

he stuck in his thumb

said, "well hell, that was dumb"

it got stuck cause the bottle was narrow

:lol:

Fancy

Posted
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

~snow :D

with faith, trust and pixiedust, everything is possible ;)

if it be tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

IWG #3057 - Local 9

emmf steel rose player - bella donna, 2005

improv cast member and dance instructor - fort tryon medieval festival

lady neige - midsummer renaissance faire

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