pirate limericks

[Merrydeath]

LOL.. Mad Jack, you are a rogue after me own heart, and 2 feet lower. I like guys with a little fur tho.. makes for a warm night when its cold.

Diego, if I may be so bold--

let the wind be at yer backs matey's

May the winds at your backs be only yours.

[The Doctor]

A "rogue," love? That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day. I'm flattered!

Here's another rhyme for the day -

There was a young pirate from Bristol

Whose cutlass was made out of crystal.

Other pirates just laughed,

they all thought him daft.

But they learned he was good with a pistol.

[Fancy]

Hey Mad Jack... just where'd you get that limerick, love?

Leans in closely to Jack and whispers, "check out the second post of this thread."

[Captain Jacob Badger]

Arrr...'ere be one donated by me wench..Long Meg.....

When corsair penelope swoons,

her breasts pop out like balloons,

th' first mate stands by,

wit' a gleam in his eye,

an' pops em back in with warm spoons....

aye

[Cap'n Pete Straw]

A pirate, known by the name "Rusty"

Often felt incredibly lusty

Women? He loved 'em all,

Short, round, fat or tall,

But he sure did like them busty

Aahhrr, I feel I've lost the touch. Back to haikus...

[The Doctor]

Hey Mad Jack... just where'd you get that limerick, love?

Leans in closely to Jack and whispers, "check out the second post of this thread."

Actually, I found that one many months ago... whoops!

How's this one?

There was a young woman named Melanie,

Who was asked by a man, "Do you sell any?"

She replied, "No, siree,

I give it for free.

To sell it, dear sir, is a felony."

[Fancy]

No worries, mate, (she says with a giggle and whisper (you can make it up to me later) I wrote it a long long time ago and posted it on another pirates site :) musta been where you found it...

pretty good on the newer one! Have you read through some of those at the beginning? Some are quite um.... naughty... yeah, naughty...

[The Doctor]

::smiles slyly:: I'll be going over me notes to find them, love. I cannot deny a woman who shares a fondness for the writings of Mr. Samuel Clemens.

[Fancy]

shy smile, clever words, ... you're a sweet one Mad Jack.

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

Damn! That last post by Fancy kind of remeinded me of the Grinch song! Did it not? "you're a sweet one Mad Jack" as she licks her lips she does! Huzzah!

[Fancy]

Shhh... I'm setting him up to trust me so that when he least expects it... I will devour him. (very enjoyable)

[The Doctor]

Shhh... I'm setting him up to trust me so that when he least expects it... I will devour him. (very enjoyable)

Aye, for I'm such a naive, innocent soul.

Be careful, love. Old Jack may be doing some luring of his own!

In the meantime, here's another verse:

Across from my house is young Mabel,

When her curtains stay open, I'm able

to watch her caressing

herself while undressing,

(as long as I stand on this table).

[Fancy]

very good limerick jack!

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

Devour, is that a good thing? Me thinks of a coupling and then... well you know .... a preditory black widow,? Mayhaps you should ney change your avitar Fancy?

A limerick then for ye all to ponder! Older than dirt it be and I remembers it from me yout (Bronx accent inserted here)

One bright day (in the middle of the night)

Two dead men (got up to fight)

back to back (they faced each other)

drew their swords (and shot each other)

now if you think this tale is tall?

Ask the blind man, who saw it all.

[Fancy]

I reckon that in light of my black widow avatar, devour from me could appear to be dangerous, but I sincerely meant that in a most pleasurable way. I have considered changing my avatar, just can't decide on one. I had a pic up before that someone mentioned I should use again, but I dunno... we'll see.

And I like your poem, Diego...

[The Doctor]

Hmmmm... "devour." It's been a while since anyone's tried that. But then, the circumstances were a bit different. As I do not see a large fire pit with a spit over it, I'm inclined to entertain this proposition.

[Nomadicalpirate]

The version of that I heard was the same but the last two lines are

"The blind man went to see fair play,

The dumb man went to shout hoo-ray!"

The on in my sig. is from PlaySchool.

[Fancy]

Hmmmm...  "devour."  It's been a while since anyone's tried that.  But then, the circumstances were a bit different.  As I do not see a large fire pit with a spit over it, I'm inclined to entertain this proposition. 

just use your imagination, love... and bring the rum.

[lady snow]

One bright day (in the middle of the night)

Two dead men (got up to fight)

back to back (they faced each other)

drew their swords (and shot each other)

now if you think this tale is tall?

Ask the blind man, who saw it all.

i know lines not there in your version:

one bright day in the middle of the night

two dead boys got up to fight

back to back they faced each other

puled their swords and shot each other

a deaf policeman heard the noise

got up and shot the two dead boys

if you don't believe my story's true

ask the blind man - he saw it too!

i known this since i was a toddler in brooklyn!

'The on in my sig. is from PlaySchool.' - nomad - that's one of the few songs i know in german!

[crimsoncrow]

Diego, me bully boy! Tis been a donkey's years since I heard that one an' I be knowin' it well!

Here be one from the Auld Sod in honors o' Saint Patrick's:

An Irishman said with a grouch,

"Tis winter when ye sneeze an' ye slouch,

Ye can't take yer woman,

In'na boat er fer swimmin',

But alot can be done on'na couch!

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

I fergots! Me eyes were the first ta go, then me hearin, but! I can't remember the other thing!

[The Doctor]

Fancy's name fits, that's sure,

she's well mannered, well-bred and demure.

But one look in her eyes,

and to your surprise,

you'll find yourself lost to her lure.

[Captain Jacob Badger]

Arrr jack....that one was as old as me boots....heres another t' match it...

One fine day, in the middle of the night.

A fire broke out on the ocean.

A blind man saw it, a deaf man heard it,

and a dumb man phoned the fire brigade.

The fire brigade came sailin',

thier ship was powered by six black and white, red sails.

They sailed over a dead cat and half killed it.

That story was told by a thin fat Cap'n,

sittin' at a square round table,

eatin' currants from a plain bun...

Not quite limerick styleeee...but hey.

[lady snow]

i like that one jacob!

[Captain Jacob Badger]

There once was a ship called 'Jades Risc's',

who's crew will be terribly missed,

for they often did sleep,

piled high in a heap,

like thier Cap'n they were mostly quite pissed.

'tis nought the way to run a ship true,

but it's really quite hard to find crew,

who don't like the rum

an' is kind to thier mum,

an' who will work flat out fer free too!

Now this little fables at an end,

so think what you will my good friends,

back into the mist,

go's the Cap'n o' the Risc,

with a laugh and a raised cup o' gold blend.