Merrydeath Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 The bells on the desk rang three til, as the womens drank their fill They plotted and schemed, Used dice and Dreamed, But there was no cure for the Pyrate Phill.. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 ...I be doin' a mite bit more blushin' than usual these days... And yes, ladies, I AM a professional! Don't try this at home without the proper guidance... There have been volumes of documented injuries...fingers swollen, wrists sprained, eye fatigue, unconvoluted gray matter bifurcation... ...and THAT'S all before they sit in front of the keyboard... If yer fevered and feelin' quite ill Don't rely on Carter's Little Pill Take a quick shot of me You'll feel great, you will see 'Cause the best cure's to have PyratePhil ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 31, 2005 Author Share Posted January 31, 2005 unconvoluted gray matter bifurcation... Ya mean yer brain be explodin'? I know that feeling, actually mine, more than explodin', just gets sucked out. I have kids (everyone nods in understanding) although it does explode now and then. what a mess! And I'm the mom, I have to clean it up meself Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 mmmmmm have PyratePhil... I think its a new dessert! Nods at Fancy.. My free words of wisdom to new parents (note to kids)- 1. NO is a complete sentence. 2. MOM does not mean Made Of Money 3. If I have to count to ten for you to stop, its too late to save you from a car. 4. I am not here to entertain you, I'm here to raise an adult. 5. I am not perfect. Deal with it. 6. I love you dearly, but Are We There Yet is not amusing the 1 thru 200 times I heard it. 7. I love you dearly. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 And I'm the mom, I have to clean it up meself LOL!!! (AD INSERT - 00:30:00) (opens on kitchen floor splattered with disgusting gray matter) (FX: Disgusting gray brain matter-like material) (FATHER enters SL into kitchen) Honey, I'm home! You'll never guess....YEWWHHCH! HONEY! WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF IN THE KITCHEN? (HONEY, a mom, looks a lot like FANCY) Oh, hi sweetie, how was your day? (F) How was my day?!? What's all this gook on the floor? We just put down those hand-tooled Mexican tiles last week...what did it cost, $2,300 or something like that - and now they're RUINED?!? (H) Oh, you big bawling bear - c'mere and give me a hug! Don't worry about the mess - I went to the store this afternoon and picked up... (INSERT ZOOM product #2874) BRAIN-BE-GONE!!! (F) Brain-Be-Gone? What's that? (H) Only the greatest little mother's helper to appear in decades! Look, all I do is mix it with a little water... (CUT to #2874 being dispensed into pail of water) ...mix it up swishy-swishy...and with one wipe, up comes all that yucchy bifurcated unconvoluted gray matter! (F) WOW! That's amazing! WHERE can I find this revolutionary new product? (H) Well, sweetie, it's available in most stores like Wal-Mart, Sams, Kleins, Floyds, Boscov's, K-Mart, U-Haul, USDA, and Pyrate's Cove, but if you call... (CONTACT INFO - SCROLL) (FADE) ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 You know, of course, that an excellent use for intercranial grey and white matter is as a cleansing and sealant agent for hand-tooled Mexican floor tiles, don't you? Just work into the tiles with an old hand towel, allow to dry for an hour, then wipe off using a Swiffer mop. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 ...Thank you, Norm! That about wraps it up for this week's This Old Brain. Join us next week when we'll be starting our newest project - the restoration of this beautiful but neglected 18th century phrenological piece. We'll also be looking at how surgeons are using Silly Putty in restorative brain surgery and we'll even take a side trip to Cerebellum, PA, where there's been a renaissance in Corpus Collosum technology... (ROLL Credits) This Old Brain has been brought to you by: -HeadLines, Inc., makers of fine corduroy pillows - BrainDrain, manufacturers of the latest in emergency brain draining products - Ohmy, Achin, and Head - Attorneys at Law Bob Veina - Producer/Director Norm Abnormal - Master Surgeon Sammy Skulls - Associate Producer Edith Head - Clothing/Costumes Jimmy "Little" Noggin - Best Boy Mihead Hurtz - Key Grip ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted February 1, 2005 Author Share Posted February 1, 2005 Loved it! Loved it! Nods at Fancy..My free words of wisdom to new parents (note to kids)- 1. NO is a complete sentence. 2. MOM does not mean Made Of Money 3. If I have to count to ten for you to stop, its too late to save you from a car. 4. I am not here to entertain you, I'm here to raise an adult. 5. I am not perfect. Deal with it. 6. I love you dearly, but Are We There Yet is not amusing the 1 thru 200 times I heard it. 7. I love you dearly. Oh, how true these words be... I think I've quoted each and every line to my kids at one time or another, and along with the "I'm not here to entertain you," I've also said, "It's ok to be bored, you won't die." I've also used this important line, "I'm sorry." but the most important thing I tell them many times a day is... "I love you dearly, just the way you are. I'm glad you're my child." Ok... now for a limerick... let's see... There once was a mom from the south With 4 kids, including a teen with a mouth When they bickered and feuded Her brain often expleuded And made a big mess in the houth. (boo... sorry) There once was a mom (that would be me) Who loved her kids unconditionally But when they sucked out her brain they'd whine and complain Because she'd make them put it back, savvy? Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Well, now, kids - I have two - and they're boys I've spent thousands on all sorts of toys But to get some big hugs Or go out hunting bugs Is the acme of all of my joys My oldest is fast with his laughter And my little one climbs on the rafter Their Mom is amazed What they do with their days But we all know who they're taking after! ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 takes after you!!?? oy vay! Fancy- my 2 make my whole life interesting.. The two kids I have are girls but not the kind in ribbons and curls. They wear jeans and sweats Yell about the boys they get and generally make Mom's hair twirl. Gray matter is over-rated, talked about, loved and hated. when all is said and done, its the politicians who makes life run. and I don't know any IQ-sated. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 takes after you!!?? oy vay! Oy Vey? Oh, it's just what I fear- Merry's been to NY, that is clear Now I'm getting skittish 'Cause she knows some Yiddish Here, dear - have a bagel and schmear! ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger the Red Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Aye,sure Children- I'm Blessed With a Pair There's Me Son With His Wild Flowing Hair And Me Daughter, Well She's Tryin' to turn Japanese Now Ye Knows Why I drink Rum and Swear RtR "For I have dipped My Hands in Muddy Waters, and Must a Pirate be- A short but Merry Life shall be My Motto!"- Bartholomew Roberts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger the Red Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Thankee,Thankee- Most Kind... and Comin' from Such a Prolific Poet as Yerself-I'd Doff Me Hat to Ya, PPhil- But the Glare from Me Bald Spot Might Blind Ye RtR "For I have dipped My Hands in Muddy Waters, and Must a Pirate be- A short but Merry Life shall be My Motto!"- Bartholomew Roberts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 ...which I could easily be re-reflectin' wi' mine! I don't have a receeding hairline - I have an advancing forehead... ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 I love all my kids through and through They're the reason I do what I do. Putting off my own dreams, But sometimes it seems My dreams are already coming true. I have a precious girl who is 4, And a fine son who is 9 1/2 years more. A sweet boy who is 8, And a girl, 10, who's great. What more could a mother ask for? The tropics, this piratemom dreams about One of these days she'll venture out And when she gets there, She'll let down her hair And soak in the sun, without a doubt. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 When Fancy gets to that isle green She'll see sights she never has seen The trees and the fish All fulfillin' her wish Then her kids will wake her with a scream ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I could talk 'bout my own kids all day, They are sweet, loving, kind and obey. Well, okay, I just lied But I had to have tried... I didn't want to use the word "gay." My oldest (a girl) is my life. She has a wit that can cut like a knife. She festoons her whole room With pics o' Orlando Bloom A practice supported (a lot!) by my wife! My son is a huge pyrate buff More maritime things weren't enough. Amidst clothes and old socks, He found his precious X-Box... Then forgot all his pyratical stuff. My youngest girl can melt the hardest of hearts, Has the purest spirit and plenty of smarts! She brings joy to my eye But I cannot deny... She still giggles at belches and farts! "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted February 8, 2005 Author Share Posted February 8, 2005 She still giggles at belches and farts! So do my kids and I! When Fancy gets to that isle greenShe'll see sights she never has seen The trees and the fish All fulfillin' her wish Then her kids will wake her with a scream Ah, methinks it be a dream When my kids awakened me by scream But I look around and see They are running with glee Along the ocean shore, having fun, extreme. I really really need a tropical vacation. I mean really. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK JACK SHALAQ Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 There is a fine lass named "Rummy". Who's smile is lovely, brite n' sunny. Though she's packed to the gills with all the girlish frill's. Her gahzoggah's could smother her honey! "OH YEAH.....KILL ME LASSIE! KILL ME"! Mean, ornry, n' nasty, Black Jack YER ANKLES WILL LOOK LOVELY BEHIND YER EARS LASSIE! HAR! HAR! HAR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 On his death-bed, a pirate named Ned, Made a limerick up in his head, But before he had time, To write down the last line, ... ... ... Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Santana de la Vega Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 Just a little note before I find me boat The end of week nears causing some fears it be weeks end matey's the party begins as if it, since we are pirates ever ends Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a knife in your back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 There was a pirate named Merry whose locks were auburn and wavy. She went to the barber shop where they did chop, and now there is a lot less of Merry. (not quite rhyming but its okay.. ) Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 There once was a pyrate named Merry who disliked her men too hairy. She slipped up to Mad Jack and grabbed hold of his back, and let us just say they made merry. :) Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Santana de la Vega Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 let the wind be at yer backs matey's Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a knife in your back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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