Fancy Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 This is always fun... Perhaps it's been done... but... Let's make up some pirate limericks! They can make since, or not, who cares, it's fun... let's play! There was an old pirate from tortuga He ate sea turtles and beluga He preferred to drink rum But he couldn't find some So he settled for wine from Chattanooga. There was a young pirate in trouble He always smelled like a soap bubble So he rolled in dead fish And on a star made a wish And now looks like Barney Rubble. There was a big ship on the sea Captained by a pirate named Smee He got sick of Hook And decided to book To live a life fancy and free There was a young wench from Peru Who wanted a pirate or two So snuck on a ship And pooched out her lip For it was an all women crew. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 here's a few more: I like making up limericks by the mile And can get on a roll for a while But the following ain't mine, I found it online and decided it was good for a smile....... There once was a pirate (the story relates) who liked to go dancing on roller skates. He fell on his cutlass which rendered him nutless and virtually useless on dates. ok, that one isn't one I made up, but I like it. These are mine.... There was a young pirate from Bristol Whose cutlass was made out of crystal Other pirates just laughed Thought him to be daft But they learned he was good with a pistol. And I confess, 'bout that pirate from Bristol And 'bout that surly pirate pistol I thought it so good (considered naught that I should) But it had such limerick potential! There was a fine pirate named Jack, Who carried a compass to track, The way to much loot, (From aztecs, to boot) And a single Pearl he wanted back. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 There once was a gal name o' Fancy Who wrote with the skill of Tom Clancy Her words, it is true Would turn strong pyrates blue But to top her, O' Lawd, would be chancy There once was a Pubtype named Doc A fair friend if ye went into shock If you'd whine and wheedle He'd stick in a needle Then stumble half-crocked 'round the block And then there was Dame MerryDeath (Whose sister I once knew - named Beth) A fantastic lass Lots of class, and nice a$$ But she needed to work on her breath. There once was a pyrate named Phil Who'd proclaim he was King of the Hill He'd hold court at sea Partying constantly Until he became violently ill ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 There once was a pirate named Phil, who was in a pickle, yes a dill. He used hypnosis, for my halitosis, and now all the pirates luv me! Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Morgan Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 It appears that Merry can't rhyme, That limerick of hers was a crime! What was she thinking! Her poem was stinking! (just kidding!!!!) Hey, Merry, just "joshin'" this time! Touche' Ship's Marksman & Crab Fiend Pyrates of the Coast "All the skill in the world goes out the window if an angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket." "Florida points like a guiding thumb, To the southern isles of rumba and rum, To the mystery cities and haunted seas, Of the Spanish Main and the Caribbees..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Morgan Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 I did these about a year ago, but they are fun to re-read! Enjoy!! Paisley's our pyrate in pink, She's great, we certainly think! She's a fine looking lass, With a fine lookin' . . . glass! In which "I" will pour her next drink! The Harbor Master he is, Rootin' the privy's his biz I'm thankin' him When in my tub, I do swim Or when I be takin' a wizz! Nigel I know from the tub, In this here Pyracy Pub From 'is start to 'is end He'll be seeked out by men, Whose women that he tried ta' rub! I often do verbally parry with a woman who claims death is merry I turn red from her posts, So to Mercy I toast! Of her words, I advise you, BE WARY! Touche' Ship's Marksman & Crab Fiend Pyrates of the Coast "All the skill in the world goes out the window if an angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket." "Florida points like a guiding thumb, To the southern isles of rumba and rum, To the mystery cities and haunted seas, Of the Spanish Main and the Caribbees..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 eat drink and be merry they say, for tomorrow you will pay! To that I shout out loud and makes all the laddies proud,. so nows its just us penquins.. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger the Red Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 I met Merry in Parry-Dise and thought She was Awfully Nice Long with Miz Paisley too and The Rest of Their Crew To Praise them, I'd never think twice "For I have dipped My Hands in Muddy Waters, and Must a Pirate be- A short but Merry Life shall be My Motto!"- Bartholomew Roberts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Merrydeath, "penguins" ye say? Yer rhymes, I fear, aren't okay. But still ye can boast, With over 4,000 posts, It's volume that counts 'till today! Six words, limericks, or Haiku? Where to post, what to say, what to do? There are so many fora (with more words than the Torah) But first, I must go to the loo! "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Oh, thet be rich, Cap'n Pete! I think Merry's penquins wear tuxen And she confused tuxen with buxom See, Merry, me dame, You have fortune and fame, But I have oysters - and I shucks 'em. (Hey, I just finished teaching 3 private lessons, OK? BACK OFF! ) (doffs hat to Cap't. Morgan) - Well done, sir! ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 And soon the Faire times'll be startin' Which, fer me, tends to be quite disheartenin', 'Cause I follows the dames And get shot down in flames So you could say I'm endin' 'fore startin'. (I know - I used "startin'" twice - so hang me...) ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 I don't know abouts all o' you But it's so cold here I just turned blue Now the sportsmen are fishin' But I'm inside wishin' For cuddlin' a warm wench or two. ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 A Yuppy pyrate name o' Brett Sailed the seas in his shiny Corvette When he came into port He'd have loads of sport With Diana, Doreen, and Yvette. ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 And soon the Faire times'll be startin'Which, fer me, tends to be quite disheartenin', 'Cause I follows the dames And get shot down in flames So you could say I'm endin' 'fore startin'. (I know - I used "startin'" twice - so hang me...) PPhil twice used the word "startin'" But his prose sure has his heart in.. Some may think him witty Fer creatin' that ditty, But me I think it's like fartin.' "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Well... A fart's just a fart, after all Whether done in a church or a hall A rose just as sweet Would be quite an odd feat But the vapors be all natural ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 There once was a wild pirate lass She was saucy, brazen and fast Her sailors meet doom Beneath the full moon So beware the spell she may cast Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 There once was a wild pirate lass And she had a fine pirate ass A pirate's sweet treasure And nothing but pleasure Was upon her bed made of brass Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 There once was a sex crazy pirate All booty he saw he desired it He got all his wenches By dropping his breeches Because they all greatly admired it. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 There is a fine pirate from Ponty He's colorful, funny and jaunty. His stories - first rate, One helluva mate Will someday he share the full monty? There once was a sweet little bee, That landed upon my sweet knee. Said I to the bee, "If you do not flee, I'll sting you so you don't sting me." Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Zounds! We be havin' a naughty little pyrate lass here... GOOD! ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 There once was a wild pirate lass And she had a fine pirate ass A pirate's sweet treasure And nothing but pleasure Was upon her bed made of brass There once was a fine pirate lass and she had a sweet pirate's ass. In a bag she did keep it 'Till in beef broth did steep it. Tasted great with red wine in a glass! "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crow Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 There once was a sailor from Bristol who's member was hard as a pistol , he would try fer a Lass with a nice round firm a$$ but he was innevitably left with his fist full ... Lord above please send a dove with wings as sharp as razors , to cuts the throats of them there blokes what sells bad booze to sailors .. " Illigitimiti non carborundum . " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 23, 2005 Author Share Posted January 23, 2005 Who me? Naughty? :) This sweet pirate lass does confess, With a flirtatious nature, I'm blessed. Sometimes naughty, that's true, So what's a girl to do? With pirates I'm totally obsessed! There was a dark pirate from Mist, Who fought with sword, pistol and fist. Her flag black and red, For blood that was shed, Cause she killed every man that she kissed. A short little pirate was miffed, His cutlass he just couldn't lift. So he traded it in, For some rum and some gin, And found drinking was his true gift. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Who me? Naughty? :) This sweet pirate lass does confess, With a flirtatious nature, I'm blessed. Sometimes naughty, that's true, So what's a girl to do? With pirates I'm totally obsessed! Tho' her picture changed to black and red I remember that one o' her head A true dark-haired lass Pretty one, with some class, Now I'll have good dreams in me bed. (flirt, flirt) Just looked at the Pub members list Some must be out playin' at whist There's just a few heros But too many zeros Must make Bloody Buckets real p*ssed. ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fancy Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 Tho' her picture changed to black and redI remember that one o' her head A true dark-haired lass Pretty one, with some class, Now I'll have good dreams in me bed. (flirt, flirt) I do believe you've made me blush... just a little. Fancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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