You Might Be a Pirate if . . .

[Tudor MercWench Smith]

As I was lying in bed the other night, deathly ill, I started thinking how funny it could be if I started this here list and see what everyone could come up with. So I'll start it off, and everyone else add anything that pops into their heads.

You might be a pirate if . . .

~You go into a bar and try to order Grog

~Anytime someone speaks negativly about pirates, you look at them in all seriousness and respond "You say 'Pirate' like it's a BAD thing!"

~You think Hamlet is Shakespeare's greatest work, not for the depth of Character, but because pirates rescue the hero

-Well, that's all I can remeber for now. They seemed funnier the other night. Maybe I was delerious So add to 'em, try and salvage my idea!

[Lady Seahawke]

when yer irritated at some fool's blabbering...yer thoughts go wishing ther be cutlass at yor side so ye can run it through ta poor soul.

[Duchess]

Your pocket knief is a cutlass.

[Captain Annie Finlay]

...you spend hours trying to teach your dog/cat/hamster/gerbil/rabbit to sit on your shoulder and say "pieces of eight!" and "where's the rum?"

[the Royaliste]

You watch the commuter traffic over on dry land, toss the last crab shell o'er the stb'd rail, and smile...........

.....Man, are they sweet this year!

[Rogue Mermaid]

You get a fish tank just for the moving pirate skeleton decorations.

[Kathyrn Ramsey]

you start calling your children the 'crew'

[Sealegs Constance]

Aye when leaving someones house ye be saying the ships leaving in 5 minutes iffen yer not there ye be left behind. :)

[Rogue Mermaid]

Your confused about why towing companys need wenches

[Merrydeath]

Instead of right and left, you say sta'board and port.

[Capt. Morgan]

You wonder why the signs on the head don't read "Mates" and "Wenches"... you also wonder why you almost mess yourself cuz no one knows where to send you when you ask, "Where do I go to use the head??"

[PyratePhil]

...you say "YO-HO" by reflex downtown, and are suddenly surrounded by ladies of easy virtue...

...you refer to your old car as a "land yacht"...

...your computer desktop has SOMETHING to do with pyrates...

...you can say "arrrgh" and "keel-haul" and not feel self-conscious...

...you have hundreds if not thousands of dollars invested in your Halloween outfit ...but don't see it as a Halloween outfit...

[Rogue Mermaid]

...you say "YO-HO" by reflex downtown, and are suddenly surrounded by ladies of easy virtue...

Oh, thats a good one...

[Merrydeath]

you say bow and stern to describe some one,

you say aye, and you're not saying the alphabet.

You have a ship in your back yard and the sea is 1000 miles away.

the words Pilfer, Pillage, and Booty come easier to your lips then your kiddy crew's names.

You have an anchor on your car to hold it in place for the parking spots.

you have more bottles of Rum and Ale then wine and Tums.

someone says DVD pirate, and you think its cool.

you give your beloved mate cutlasses and guns instead of candies and cards for special days.

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

you just might be a pirate:

If you'd rather be out ta sea than on the docks

If yer sister carries a blunderbus

If yer mom's name is Smythe

If you can carve wood with a cutlass

[Patrick Hand]

you have more bottles of Rum and Ale then wine and Tums.

Shouldn't that have been ....... Empty Bottles of rum............

[crow]

You tend to use archaic nuatical phrases in yer day to day work . "crack on more sail we're going to be late ."

[Duchess]

You own more scarves and sashes than you have socks.

(O'course that could also be "you might be a belly dancer if...")

The Duchess

[Charity]

You show'm off proudly and regularly "update ' them

[Merrydeath]

you have more bottles of Rum and Ale then wine and Tums.

Shouldn't that have been ....... Empty Bottles of rum............

All in good time, there Patrick. First they have to be bought and brought home.

You hear the word Parrot an think Pirate.

You hear the word balloons and think Doubloons.

Pieces of Eight mean money and not what some kid did after too much pizza.

[Patrick Hand]

The weather is icky and snowy, so you wear your pyrate Sea Coat...... because it's the warmest coat you own.......

[Tempest Fitzgerald]

When stuck in gridlock traffic or are cut off by some s.o.b., you instantly think of how you could mount a "long 9" on you car/truck to handle the situation the next time it happens.

[Rumba Rue]

When your parrot ONLY knows pirate words. (Mine does!)

When everything in your car has a skull and crossbones motif.

This also includes license plate frames that say, "My other car is a pirate ship." (Got one)

When you go to a party and bring your big drinking mug attached to your belt with all the chachkies on it.

When you wear your pirate outfit to a church wedding and everybody thinks you look better than the bride.

Rumba Rue

**If at first you don't succeed, then walking the plank isn't for you**

[Cap'n Pete Straw]

you say aye, and you're not saying the alphabet.

...You say "R" and yer not sayin' the alphabet.

...Someone mentions "a vast landscape" and you ask why they are hailing the landscape.

...When looking at Texas on the map, you begin to wonder if there is any significance as to where the large "X" was placed.

[crimsoncrow]

Ye find that 90% o' yer house decore carries a nautical theme and most o' that be o' pyrate flavor.

When ye give directions, it always be in points o' the compass instead o' left, right, straight.

You say, Millers when refering to rats.

Terms like, "Kissin' the gunner's daughter" are jus' a part o' everyday conversation.

Ye have a better knowledge o' rum than most Barkeeps.