Snappy Reparte While Swordfighting

[Morgan La Scylla]

You've seen it in films, you've used it diring re enactments. Lets hear some of your snappy reparte!

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!

Insult from Swordmaster:

I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today.

Comeback for both:

And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kebab!

Insult from Swordmaster:

My tongue is sharper than any sword.

Comeback for both:

First you better stop waving it like a feather duster.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

You make me want to puke.

Insult from Swordmaster:

If your brother's like you better to marry a pig.

Comeback for both:

You make me think somebody's already did.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will!

Insult from Swordmaster:

No one will ever catch ME fighting as bad as you do.

Comeback for both:

You run THAT fast?

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

You fight like a dairy farmer.

Insult from Swordmaster:

I will milk every drop of blood out of your body.

Comeback for both:

How appropriate, you fight like a cow!

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?

Insult from Swordmaster:

I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.

Comeback for both:

Why? Did you want to borrow one?

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

I've heard you are a contemptible sneak.

Insult from Swordmaster:

My sword is famous all over the Carribean.

Comeback for both:

Too bad noone's ever heard of you at all.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

Insult from Swordmaster:

I got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!

Comeback for both:

I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

I'm not gonna take your insolence sitting down!

Insult from Swordmaster:

You are a pain in the backside, sir!

Comeback for both:

Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

I've spoken with apes more polite than you.

Insult from Swordmaster:

Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.

Comeback for both:

I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

You have the manners of a beggar.

Insult from Swordmaster:

Every word you say to me is stupid.

Comeback for both:

I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.

Insult from Swordmaster:

Only once have I met such a coward.

Comeback for both:

He must have taught you everything you know.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle.

Insult from Swordmaster:

My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood.

Comeback for both:

I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

There are no words for how disgusting you are.

Insult from Swordmaster:

There are no clever moves that can help you now.

Comeback for both:

Yes there are. You just never learned them.

[Morgan La Scylla]

Insult from Pirates:

People run away when they see me coming.

Insult from Swordmaster:

My wicest enemies run away at the first sight of me.

Comeback for both:

Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

[Captain Rob Carroll]

I smell Monkey Island afoot!

[Scy]

Ah, Morgan La Scylla, you have quite a list! My own controbution is not between swords, but it's verbal sparring no the less. And one that I enjoyed writing, of course it's been edited a bit to make sense here since it has come from my writing. Let's assume they're talking about... a gust of wind.

1st: “Well then, how strong was it?”

2nd: “It was hardly enough to wake me from my beauty sleep. "

1st: “Oh poor little lemming. You better get back to bed before the crew dies of glancing at you. Without your beauty sleep you are most frightening looking."

2nd: “I’d say the same for you, but no amount of sleep would be able to help the monstrosity that stands before me,”

1st: “Now my dear fellow, how many times must I tell you not to carry around a mirror? Surely your vanity must be rivaling that of a whore’s,”

I added my bit. Verbal sparring match, anyone?

Scy.

[the Royaliste]

:)Methinks it sounds like foreplay !

[Scy]

Except for the fact that those be two strait males. Ah, it will be most interestin' later on when they kill eachother. But until then...

Scy.

[the Royaliste]

:) hmmm, must be pirates....

[Scy]

Alas, wrong story. Though the 1st would love it. Thier boss would be more apt to 'He fell over board, honest!' , 'And the cannon just happened to attach itself to his feet?' , 'No, he had troubles tying his boots' than 'Well, it's not my fault he found the pointed end of my dagger so interesting...'

~~~

'I'm suprised your family didn't kill you when your mother birthed you!'

'Yes, well at least the sight of my face didn't kill the midwife.'

~~~

'You wield your blade like a toddler'

'At least I wasn't taught by one'

~~~

Scy.

[the Royaliste]

And would these be your jewels I'm sportin'? Lights carronade..

[Capt. Flint]

Heres one I use when sword fighting..... Sung to the tune of ..itsy bitsy spider

The itsy bitsy warrior stepped on the tourney field

out came the duke and demanded that he yield

out came his sword and he split the duke between

and the itsy bitsy warrior stepped off the field again

[Capt Donovan Bledsoe]

Here's a few from my twisted skull...

"Aye, an' yer a sorry pyrate packing the hand-cannon in yer cabin, boy...now crawl off for another menage a mois"

"Sir, you harm none but the bedclothes about you..." (Shakespeare)

"There is not yet so ugly a fiend of Hell as you shall be" (also Shakespeare)

and this, plagiarized slightly from Christoph the professional insulter, to be used on a woman...

"You should become a nun, y'know, a bride of Christ. For only a man firmly nailed down could bear your countenance"

"Parry a few too many blows with yer jaw, eh?"

"Come, dance, oh grand pincushion"

after a masterful set of parries..."Ah, you've been fencing with your little sister again! She does enjoy playing with a good sword!" (admittedly, this one is below the belt)

Antagonist: "I'll carve out yer eyes!"

Hero: "Oh, sweet prayers answered! Then I'll not have to see your putrid face!"