Bullies

[Jib]

While we can still experience bullies as adults this question is directed more toward your time spent in school. Were you the kid that was picked on because you were different or sought out for torture because you were weaker by bullies. Or did you prey about others as a bully? Do you have regrets either way?

I know schools are always trying to curb the bullies but it never seems to go away. Most logic seems to be to notify the teachers but that only seems to provoke even a greater ammount of violence from the bullies as a reprisal. Woe be John should his mother call the school office about his torn shirt and bruised lip...

[Capt. Sterling]

I wasn't a bully nor the bullied, I was in the office all the time because I protected the victims... the principal insisted he could handle things on his own, but I just told him he obviously wasn't doing a good job. Damn I was always in trouble.

[Black Syren]

I was bullied..but I also stuck up for others who were bullied.

[LadyBrower]

I was the victim of a bully... *Stiff* But then I punched him in the face

[Black Syren]

Way to go Lady Brower..That reminds me that I did slap one of the bullies bullying me. Pushed me up against the lockers so I whacked him one. Forgot all about that...

[Red-Handed Jill]

I was bullied when quite young by a couple of kids that from how I heard of their older lives are most likely dead or in jail by now - I'm sure their parents are SO proud of them... Otherwise, I was also the person to stand up for others who were bullied, since I was a pretty scrappy kid and protective by nature. I was also instrumental for getting a bullying teacher fired - she had no business whatsoever being around kids but once she made my brother bleed that was the last straw as far as I was concerned.

[Ransom]

All through school I was emotionally bullied. Basically, made fun of. I remember in 6th grade having to pair up for folk dancing, and the teacher made the gaff of trying to team me up with the most popular guy in school. He took one look at me and said, in front of the whole class, "I won't dance with her." I was always the last to get picked for team sports, and was always self-concience. In High School I had to wear hand-me-down clothes from my cousin, who was two inches taller, and had boobs. Being a stick at 5' 6" and about 92 lbs, I was called the sack girl, because her clothes hung on me like rags. Gee, wonder why I hated school? Were it not for my art classes, I probably would never have graduated High School.

[Animal]

I was bullied in school because of my asthma. That lasted until I took a drink cup with a ball of ice in it and smashed him in his face. Shattered his nose and the only thing that kept me from being expelled was other kids who were being bullied by him sticking up for my actions to the principle.

Animal

[Capt. Bo of the WTF co.]

Being born poor white trash from the low end of town, I got a lot of crap until I started filling out from work on the farm, and an abusive step-father taught me how to take a beating. by the time I was thirteeen, I was forced to make a stand on a few occaisions. By the time I was fifteen I was running with the club bikers all the time, and at sixteen nobody messed with me anymore. At seventeen I was full prospect for the local chapter, and full member at 18. By 19 I had earned my 1% patch too, and was the youngest Road Captain ever in the club. I guess you could say I went through both stages.

Bo

[Cheeky Actress]

All through school I was emotionally bullied. Basically, made fun of. I remember in 6th grade having to pair up for folk dancing, and the teacher made the gaff of trying to team me up with the most popular guy in school. He took one look at me and said, in front of the whole class, "I won't dance with her."

Wow Ransom, we had the same experience!?! Now that is just too creepy! Though mine was in High School...Square Dancing! But in the beginning...I wasn't bullied. It was Lynn who was often the target, but when middle school hit, things changed. It was horrible! There was a group of guys who would always stand outside my homeroom every morning. And every morning I would have to listen to the verbal insults and condesending looks from their 'girlfriends'. Trying to be the bigger person, I would walk on by and say nothing. I knew that it wasn't worth my time to acknowledge their petty insults.

But one day....itt was March 15th - I can only remember the date because of the St. Patrick day decorations were still up. One of the boys started on me with the verbal insults and the rude remarks. Just then I snapped.

Before the kid knew what had happen I had dropped my books on the floor and proceeded to sucker-punched the twit in the face several times. After the third direct hit, he crumbled to the floor and began to screem for help. I don't remember if I gave him a bloody nose or not, but that was when my Homeroom teacher came out into the hall way and pulled me off of him. I remember the look on the kid's face; shocked and stunned. His friends just stook their and looked at him - none of them aided in helping him.

My teacher quickly pulled me into my homeroom and instructed the rest of the kids to 'get to homeroom...NOW!' I took my desk and said nothing. I didn't even make eye contact with anyone in my homeroom - though it was very apparent that they all saw what happened. The room was quiet and no one was talking. It was then my homeroom teacher asked me if I was all right and wanted to see the nurse. I shook my head no.

My homeroom teacher never sent me to the Principles office nor did they call my folks. Yet, after March 15th...the group of guys that lingered outside my homeroom never lingered there again.

Edited August 25, 2009 by Cheeky Actress

[lady constance]

hmmmm i was bullied... but i did not care...when i finally noticed, i realised that i was not the only one...i suppose that was about in 6th grade....

well come 8th grade, i decided that there were MORE unpopular, picked on kids than popular ones....

if we banded together, we geeks could overhaul the world.........

so i sought out all the dejected, rejected, lamenting souls.. and there were many...and banded them together.. with logic and emotional suaveness.... that we band together and not to react in kind---ever....

that our sheer volume of doing the right thing would cause the adults to notice....and the meanies to change....

both happened....

been doing it ever since--sticking up for the underdogs and the abused and poorly treated.....we might get beaten up together, but at least the whippings are halved..we each only hurt half as much....

i know no other way ...

it is a beautiful loving thing to do...{and a side effect is that it plain out FEELS GOOD!}

do unto others as you want them to do to you....

lead by example...........

[Cap'n Black Jack]

When I was six we moved from the city to a small town where everyone was related or had know each other for generations. I never had a friend in school until about 4th grade. I was constantly picked on by students and teachers alike, not to mention the cops. I soon learned t ignore it all. By high school it was getting attacked by five, six, ten or even more guys at a time. By this time I had discovered punk rock. We had a good number of punks in the school, we all banded together, safety in numbers. It had gotten to a point that I could not walk anywhere alone, in school or out of school. To me it was all so stupid, it was high school. By the time I was leaving school I just didn't care any more. I ended up in a big fight, chairs and other objects were involved. After that I had a rep as a psycho and no one bothered me. I got into a lot of fights after that, none that I started or instigated, I started defending people more, and the psych rep grew, and its still with me.

[Silkie McDonough]

I was bullied.

I was overly emotional (still am at times),wore hand-me-down's (from twins who were taller), developed over the summer before any of the other girls in the class, went to a grade school with a class of only about 40 students and ...my last name is Fleckenstein. Kids can be cruel and when you react overly much they can be even worse. I wasn't the ground that the social ladder sat on. lol It was really bad until about mid year 7th grade or so. I was off sick for a week or so and a teacher must have had a discussion with the class because when I got back everyone was nice! Asking me to sit with them at lunch, not teasing me etc. That didn't last long but at least most people became less abusive.

Once in high school with the other 800 plus students in my grade I was able to blend in a bit, I was still a misfit but I fit with the other misfits. Only once did the bullying become physical but after the 4'th time she slipped the heal of my shoe with the toe of her's I made a fist, straightened my arm, and quickly turned around. She was so close I ended up punching her. I did get threatened by a friend of hers but when I said that I I wouldn't punch her friend if her friend didn't keep giving me a "flat tire" it all ended and no one ever tried anything physical again.

No, I didn't stick up for those being bullied but I did commiserate with them.

[Iron Bess]

Bullies are a fact of life in school it seems….

I was bullied because so many kids saw me as *Different*. I was a lass that didn’t care about the opinions of the boys. I dressed and acted as I liked. I was never demure or *helpless* (shrug) Not in my nature.

I got on well with all my teachers. I respected most of them and even liked a few! Made me suspect I suppose.

And one day when I came into the bathroom and found the resident girls bully, Jackie, smearing a newcomer’s face with lipstick while her *gang* blocked her in a bathroom stall. I grabbed the back of Jackie’s hair and pulled her out and down she went onto the floor. I think I wanted to say more but all I could get out was *Grow up!*

What a fracas erupted after that. We were only in ninth grade mind you and it was not like it is today.

Jackie yelling she was going to the principle. Her gang spreading out like scared rabbits (some stayed some fled) The new girl’s making her face worse by spreading the lipstick all over with her hands while she cried. Then a senior walked in….

Yeah, I went to the principles and when he asked me why I did it I told him “because no one else was there to do it.”

All I know is after that I was never really looked at in the eye by Jackie again except for the occasional snide, rude comments as she and her minions passed by in the hallway. (Chuckle) Sticks and stones.

Someone told me she had a horrible home life, that was why she took everything out on people weaker then she was. And someone else heard she had adopted and just found out so she hated everyone.

I saw her again at a class reunion and you know what? It was just in her nature to be mean. Yup, she still had an attitude and was a master of the snide remark. She asked me if I had taken up mud wrestling since I would have been so good at it. I just smiled and told her*Nope, sword fighting. Try being the class B***h again and I won’t pull your hair, you’ll just lose it.*

That felt SO good!

[Rumba Rue]

Yes, a lot in grade school and junior high....I had to wear a brace from my neck down to my pelvis in hopes of trying to straighten or at least stop the scoliosis in my spine.

I went through absolute hell and I use to come home from school and just cry every day at the way I was being treated....even by my own mother....

When the brace was finally taken away, I had a reasonably decent high school life...I was party city and I could toilet paper houses with the best throwing arm into the trees with my friends.

As time went on, I've had to deal with people who just don't understand where I'm coming from a lot of times and it's caused a huge amount of problems in my life.

I finally decided to start taking a stand for what I believe in and the hell with what others think. I've always had been one to not say much, but after a certain incident in the former pirate group I was in with a particular person, I worked very hard to get away from the negativity that surrounded me in that group, and instead be in the company of those who have their act together.

I can now say with joy and love that I am in the best loved pirate group around. We may be small (we like it that way)but I am respected, loved and cared about and people love my ideas. I have wonderful friends that even though we have different things, we still all get along and that is what true friendship is about.

And on top of that, the group I'm in actually has a real goal, something that no other pirate group has and most certainly not the former one I was in.

Pirates of Treasure Cove

[William Brand]

I wasn't beat up or bothered any more or less than anyone else. School is school. Still, I decided somewhere along the way not to be a bully or a victim, choosing instead to protect anyone bullied and choosing never to be a victim myself.

That said, there was a bully in high school that chose me one day as his target of harassment. He would say the most distasteful things to me and my friends. He would go out of his way to threaten me in all manner of ways almost daily. I would simply ignore him, and was quite content to go on ignoring him, but my friends would beg me to let them beat the crap out of him. I told them that it was my place to accept or ignore the harassment and that they should stay safely out of it.

This went on for months and it began to wear me until my patience had a water blister.

Then one day he bumped into me in the lobby and said something foul about my girlfriend at the time. I simply stopped, turned to Kriss and passed her my books saying nothing more than, 'Would you mind holding these?'. I even smiled as I said it. Something had snapped. Then I followed the guy into the main stairwell where everyone was coming and going from various classes, grabbed him by the front of the shirt and all but hoisted him off the ground as I slammed him into the wall. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but it went something like this.

"You're a moron to think that I'm an easy target for your stupidity. I'm not. It's just that I can't fight you. I can hit you. I can hit you hard enough to drive in your skull, but that's the problem. If I ever start hitting you I'm not going to stop until I kill you or they drag me off you and you'll be half way to the grave or the hospital by then. Do you understand? I'm not going to ever fight you. I'm only going to kill you."

He simply yelled, "Get your hands off me!"

Then I started laughing. Holding him there against the wall with half the student body watching, I started laughing. Then I slapped him gently on the cheek and said, "You just don't get it. You're an idiot." Then I walked away.

He never bothered me again, and no one else ever has either.

[Raphael Misson]

In some way everyone has been a victim or intimidator at one time in their life. (Seriously - be honest with yourself and you'll recognize that you've been both.)

The question isn't which you are - since in each moment you are whatever you decide to define yourself as being - the question is what you do with the temporary label.

Remember that labels are self-defined and, as such, they nothing more than a mental state or a decision that you've made about yourself. This means they are always temporary.

Edited August 25, 2009 by Raphael Misson

[Jib]

Mission is indeed wise. I think that there is a "Pecking Order" in everything. Think about it... Ever been a member of a group {cliche} and didn't want a certain person to join? Not everyone always extends the hand of friendship, some show a cold threatening exterior to chase away those deemed 'unacceptable'. Can that be a form of bulling too?

[Red Cat Jenny]

Oh I've been bullied...back in Junior High school. But then I got smart...I realized that world only existed until 12th grade. I was popular in HS anyway...my brother was older and I hung out with his friends..instant cool in the HS world.

The crowning moment for the guff I had to take was post college. I ran into my school years nemesis (yes Helene you *&^%$@$....) There was miss perfect and so popular years later where her HS rep would do her no good...Fat, dumpy, 2 monsterously bratty kids and an equally dumpy halfwit for a husband or whatever he was...

Ohh yesss...I just stood there, smiling at her..and the years of angst melted away one by one...

She didn't have a word to say..the look on her stupid puss was sufficient.

Guess she didn't make it back to her coach before midnight.....

[callenish gunner]

Let me start out saying that I was the largest kid at the school I went to. I worked the docks after school loading crates of fish for the Glasgow market. For several months there was this new lad (Dale MacNaughton) at school who kept trying to start fights with me. He was about a head shorter than any other fellow in our age, and he couldn't have weighed eight stones (100 lbs.). He'd try to trip me or knock my books out of my hands, etc. On a Tuesday in late April, he followed me as I walked home to my village and to my job at the fishery, he kicked at my books and my Geometry text went skittering into the harbour.

I turned and told him I'd had enough and asked him why he wouldn't just leave me alone. He said his dad had said if he wanted the other kids to respect him he would have to pick a fight with the biggest lad in school and give him what for. I told him that was stupid and if he didn't get the f*&% away from me I'd have to hurt him. He took a swing and socked me in the jaw. I lost my temper with him finally and picked him up by the groin and gullet and tossed him into a crate of fish guts and then lifted three more crates of guts on top of that crate. Together they must have weighed over 200 pounds. Told this little toady he'd not be getting out until he gave up the idea of fighting me; all he did was curse at me and call me names ...as I watched him struggle to try to lift the crates from over his head and listened to him try to tell me how he would kick my arse when he got out, I began to feel sorry for him. Until he went too far and made threats against a couple of my girlfriends at which point I told him I was leaving him there, I walked home (leaving him ranting from inside that crate of smelly oozing guts and fins and tails)and washed up for dinner and sat down to fish-pie and carrots and onions.

At half past eight there was a knock on the door and my Aunt Margret opened it to the Constable and Mr. MacNaughton, they asked if I knew where Dale was since he was last seen following me after school. I told them the story of what had happened and told them where to find the lad. There he was covered in fish guts and wreaking of filth soaked to the skin in it. His father started off on me; here's a man who obviously had a bit of a Napoleon complex going on, he was about five foot nothing and skinny as a lamp post, telling me he was going to thrash me within an inch of my life. The constable set him to rights when Dale told his dad how his advice could have gotten him killed. Told the constable and his dad what he had done trying to pick the fight and how I had lifted him up like a doll and tossed him into the crate. Let's just say at sixteen I was 5' 11" and fourteen stone 10 (210 lbs.)

That was the only fight I got into while in school. In the service and at university was a different story.....

Edited August 26, 2009 by callenish gunner

[Silkie McDonough]

Mission is correct. In the school setting I was bullied but I do recall other times when I was just plain mean to others, don't remember the exact reasons but I do recall putting others down, it didn't feel bad but it wasn't a good feeling either, thank goodness I outgrew that.

I was also likely the "champion" for someone at some point but since I recall being the brunt of most of the bullying as a kid the opportunity didn't come up very often. heh

I remember my 20th year high school reunion. There was another woman who as a girl was picked on. She apologized to me at the reunion because she would be happy when kids were picking on me and not her. We both agreed that we wouldn't change a thing because those experiences made us who we are today and quite frankly I like me (the majority of the time). LOL

[LadyBarbossa]

I was the victim of a much older bully when I was in my early years of elementry school. NEVER fun. I was terrified of school for a time until they graduated from HS. Yes, from kindergarten to 3rd grade or 4th... I was bullied by a couple HS boys mostly on the bus. And that damned bus driver didn't do a damn thing other than drive! Didn't do much (I think, if I can remember) other than chew out the one HS guy that punched me in the stomach; he punched me so hard I couldn't breath, I was in tears and hurting bad. Generally on the floor.

There was another kid who was a bully, I generally ignored the runt as he was in elementary school and I was in Jr High. That was until the day he pushed my button too far and I smapped back so hard on him that it shocked the crap out of him that someone fought back! I swear from that day forth he NEVER bothered me again. Shocked the crap out of all those on the bus, including the bus driver. I didn't hit the kid, just gave him a peice of my mind and a verbal slap down. He was one mean kid, too.

I don't deal well with people who are abusive. Have too much of that shit in my life, even if it's not directly aimed towards me.

~Lady B

[Rogue Mermaid]

I was picked on from 3rd grade to 12th grade. Too many stories to tell them all, let's just say Middle School was the worst and I cried way too much. I was just different, I dressed how I wanted and was non-confrontational. Over all I was a perfect target. In high school I was still picked on, but I had a good group of friends so it wasn't as bad.

In 11th grade, I almost got in a fight with a girl that picked on me everyday. Thank goodness I didn't! I wound up working with her mother after college (who by the way was also evil). She was the office manager at work and I wouldn't have my job if I had acted on my impulses.

As Silkie said, what we go through makes us who we are today. So I can't complain much. Besides, I've heard of how many of my tormentors are doing today. Let's just say karma went into effect!

Edited August 31, 2009 by Rogue Mermaid

[Red-Handed Jill]

As Silkie said, what we go through makes us who we are today. So I can't complain much. Besides, I've heard of how many of my tormentors are doing today. Let's just say karma went into effect!

It's been my observation that most bullies peak while they are in school - sad, that. I wonder if on some level they realise this so they feel the need to punish other people for their pathetic lives.

[Fionntan Murtaugh]

They say that no one is tougher on you than you are on yourself, not so. Nobody was tougher than m'cousin Murin.