Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 hahaha... I"m not sure how to take that.. heeheehee "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 "From the bottle..." Love that one, Weaver! you look just too angelic in yer new avatar.I see that picture and wonder ifn I stepped into the foo foo pub,where they play brittany spears music and paint each others fingernails.gives me the shivers when I get that image. (Retching sound coming from somewhere in Tennessee...) Britney Spears? Yuck! Come on, Captain Weaver! Give me more credit than that. Thanks for the compliments, if that was one. Har, har! Anyway, don't you think it's more fitting to dress like an angel and fight like the devil? If you look sweet, people will think you're approachable. Little do they know... Arrgh! Capt. WE Roberts "I shall uphold my indignity with the utmost dignity befitting a person of my undignified station." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Oh, and I don't know whether the light hair comes more from the Norwegian/Scandinavian/English/Irish (you know, American Mutt) heritage or my mother the hairdresser! Sometimes, I have to amuse myself... Oh, and I just wrote a song about an hour ago. It's called, "I just wanna see you nekkid." Pretty funny. I had some relatives cracking up about it. It's about a woman who walks into a bar and hits on a man, only to tell him that she's not interested in love; only seeing him "nekkid" (naked, Southern style). Haaarrrgh! Capt. WE Roberts "I shall uphold my indignity with the utmost dignity befitting a person of my undignified station." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captweaver65 Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Thanks for the compliments, if that was one. Har, har! Anyway, don't you think it's more fitting to dress like an angel and fight like the devil? If you look sweet, people will think you're approachable. Little do they know... yes,Capt Roberts that was a compliment I hadn't thought of the subterfuge angle. ...uh... I mean...AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR -fool em with their own pretty flag. har har Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captweaver65 Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 It began with a horny squid's wink, At a pirate girl, nude in the drink. She grew hot as his arms Fondled mammary charms. Then succumbed when he tickled her pink. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the Royaliste Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 GRINNING Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captweaver65 Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 What is the difference between a cabin boy and a mosquito? You swat a mosquito and it stops sucking. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 AWWWWWW! EWWWW! I mean...ARRGH! Weaver, your sick, disgusting sense of humor greatly amuses me! I love it! Keep 'em coming! Coming...EWWWW! Capt. WE Roberts "I shall uphold my indignity with the utmost dignity befitting a person of my undignified station." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 There once was a man named Rod Who liked to play with his bod He fell out of a house and landed on a mouse And the mouse said, "Oh, God!" Borrowed from a friend of mine in the 6th grade...can't believe I remembered it all these years. Capt. WE Roberts "I shall uphold my indignity with the utmost dignity befitting a person of my undignified station." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captweaver65 Posted October 25, 2003 Author Share Posted October 25, 2003 On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head. Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river. Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river. The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row." The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?" The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?" Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health." Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?" Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Ah, I see bestiality still thrives here. Capt. WE Roberts "I shall uphold my indignity with the utmost dignity befitting a person of my undignified station." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captweaver65 Posted October 26, 2003 Author Share Posted October 26, 2003 hehe we really love our animals What's the difference between a rooster and a wench? A rooster says cockle-doodle-doo... A wench says any-cock-le-doo... Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 What's the difference between a rooster and a wench?A rooster says cockle-doodle-doo... A wench says any-cock-le-doo... Harrr.... Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crow Posted November 22, 2003 Share Posted November 22, 2003 I don't really love animals , and honestly I was just tryin to help that sheep through the fence. Lord above please send a dove with wings as sharp as razors , to cuts the throats of them there blokes what sells bad booze to sailors .. " Illigitimiti non carborundum . " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 Short version: Heaven is English Laws, French mistresses, and German cooks. Hell is English cooks, French laws, and German mistresses. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 OMG LMAO!!!! Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 A pirate boarded a ship, took it over and demanded everyone aboard it killed. On it were 3 women. The first one offered him a title and power if he would save her and marry her. The second one offered him money and a fabulous villa in Italia if he would save her and marry her. The last one offered love and companionship for ever, if he would save her and marry her. Which one did he pick? The one with the biggest treasure chest! Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 I'd vote #2. She had money and with that he could get any of the other stuff the others offered except love and a pirate loves his plunder. Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 I didn't mean a real treasure. I meant a real chest. (_) (_) Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 You mean like the rare Big Breasted Bed Thrasher? Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 However, given the choice, I'd prefer these (*) (*) over these (_) (_). Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 Mine were wearing a bodice.. not in the freezer section of the local store. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyannMacGregor Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 RODLMAO.....*almost spilling her tankard* Captain of The Morrighan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 Mine were wearing a bodice.. not in the freezer section of the local store. Good to know. *lovely image pops into EP's head* Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pirata Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 RODLMAO.....*almost spilling her tankard* Glad ye be havin ALMOST in yer sentence. Pushing the limits means getting out of my comfort zone and giving more when I don't think I have any left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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