Hester

I actually think of Jack as omni-sexual, ready to shag any convenient warm body that smells better than he does -- be that Elizabeth Swann, the working women of Tortuga, Tia Dalma, a passing mermaid (or was that a dolphin?), Will, Norrington [i'm rooting for you, mate!], or Norrington's goat. Cheers, Hester

Wow! I'm really impressed with how this Pineapple facial works! My skin looks fresh and glowing, and it feels incredibly smooth, with nice tight pores. I actually like this homemade facial better than any commercial mask I've tried. My recipe made more than I needed for my face, so I also applied it to the back of my hands, which had become quite leathery from too much sun. Not only does the skin on my hands now look supple and feel smooth, I think this concoction actually did lighten the tan, giving a more translucsent look to the skin. I think next time, I'll make an even bigger batch and attempt a full-body mask. Cheers, Hester

In Celia Rees's young adult novel Pirates, two unlikely friends take to piracy -- a Jamaican plantation owner's daughter named Nancy and an escaped slave named Minerva. After months at sea, Nancy must pose as a respectable young lady again, and Minerva suggests applying pineapple pulp to her skin to help lighten her seafaring tan. Well, pineapple might not actually lighten the skin, but it does contain enzymes that will exfoliate dead cells and remove surface dullness, as well as anti-oxidants to help repair sun damage. Papaya has similar propeties: Papaya and Pineapple Spa Treatments After a summer basking in the sunlight reflected off the waters of a northern lake, my own complexion is looking a bit sun-weary. So, I'm doing my own pineapple facial today. In the blender, I mixed: 1/4 cup fresh pineapple 1 Tbs. natural yoghurt 1 Tbs. rolled oats It's still drying on my face. I'll let you know what I think of the results. Cheers, Hester

A traditional broadside ballad, also popular in Newfoundland and parts of the States, and made famous by the late Canadian folksinger Stan Rogers: The Maid on the Shore ... about a young sea captain who gets his crew to abduct a pretty young woman that he sees on the shore. To his chagrin, she turns out to be a siren who sings the crew to sleep, steals all their treasure, then paddles back to shore using the captain's sword as an oar. Eliza Carthy does a musically grittier version on her album Rough Music. And another broadside ballad, The Pretty Ploughboy ... about a young woman whose parents call the press-gang to take her lover away to sea. She rescues him from the ship.

That video is brilliant! Imagine how much time it took to do the stop-motion animation! [And I spotted a couple ships from the "Pirates of the Spanish Main" game in the map sequence.] Cheers, Hester

Why? (Why do you have to admit it, not why do you find him sexy. Although you may get further ahead in life if you don't. Admit it, that is.) I'm a compulsive blabber! [Hence the 'net pseudonym.] Cheers, H.

An English folksong called A Brisk Young Sailor ... in which the young woman singing the song is jilted for a wealthier girl The young British songstress Bill Jones does a great version: http://freespace.virgin.net/belinda.j/reviewttm.html However, I'm more familiar with the Irish version of the song, called I Know My Love ... in which it is not quite as clear that the young man is a sailor. Here's an MP3 of a bootleg recording of Eliza Carthy and Nancy Kerr doing a fabulous live version of the song in concert: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?acti...E8F256E4B603037 And you can find James Yorkston's gender-flipped version as a free demo on this page: http://www.jamesyorkston.co.uk/listen.htm Cheers, Hester

Another traditional song from Broadside Electric: When I was a Fair Maid ... about a young woman who cross-dresses to join the navy. And a traditional lament of lovers separated by the sea, collected by Andy M. Stewart from his mum: If I was a Blackbird

Two from the singing of the reclusive and inimitable Anne Briggs: Lowlands ... a haunting song about a young woman who dreams of the death at sea of her sailor lover (said to be a capstan shanty). Rosemary Lane ... a song about a young servant girl who has a fling with a sailor (Made famous by Bert Jansch, who was once Anne Brigg's lover, and who likely learned the song from her.) And a traditional song about a sea battle, newly arranged by Broadside Electric: The Royal Oak ... you can download the MP3 of their version [free and legal] from this page (2nd album on the page): http://www.broadside.org/music/merch/be.html Cheers, Hester

Here are some of my favourite traditional songs associated with the sea: Sir Patrick Spens (Child Ballad #58) ... about a non-sailor who is given the "honour" of captaining one of the Scottish king's ships in the dead of winter William Glenn ... about a sinful sea captain who gets his just deserts Just as the Tide was Flowing ... a sailor's love song A-Roving ... a jaunty and mildly bawdy capstan shanty Bonny Ship the Diamond ... a slightly bawdy song about the whaling fleet that sailed out of the grim port of Peterhead on the northeast coast of Scotland, and their sweethearts left behind on the quay. [My own great-great-grandfather was a sailor who lived in that port in the early 19th century.] I'll try to add more to the list as songs come to my mind. Cheers, Hester

Happy Gilmore? Cheers, Hester

spa

Here's a summer solstice ritual performed by surfers on Long Beach in Pacific Rim National Park near Tofino, B.C. a couple years ago. Dim, dark weather, and it was a weekday, so the ritual took place at dusk, after everyone was through with work. I was just a tourist, so my pics are from a distance, as my husband wouldn't let me go too close and disturb this private party.

Lake Superior, or as the Ojibway say, Gitchee Gumee ... the great sweetwater sea:

^I'd do a punk-rock musical movie version starring Stuart Townsend, but with ultra-authentic period garb, ships, etc. <Fighting off a migraine v How many pirates does it take to change a lightbulb? (Make up your own punchline.)

order

Woops, Cheeky Actress beat me to the punch... but in response to her "Cat in the Hat", I offer: "squatters" [because there was a group of housing activists who used him as a mascot]. Cheers, Hester

John Philip Sousa

I think a drug-addled but surprisingly resilient old rocker is perfect for Jack's dad! Pirates weren't exactly teetotallers, after all. [Hmmm ... Q for the Captain Twill set -- didn't pirates indulge in opium in addition to rum?] In fact, I'd like to see Pete Doherty play Jack's younger black sheep brother in PotC4: Cheers, Hester

Last night, Bill Nighy showed up in my dreams.

"What fresh hell is this?" ~ Dorothy Parker

tickle

I have a garden in my front yard in the city that has gotten completely out of hand. [being away at my cottage most of the summer doesn't help matters.] The previous owners of the house planted the yard as a "shrubbery". Perhaps I should ask the Knights who say "Ni" if they want it -- 'cause I sure don't! When we first moved in, various shrubs of contrasting colours and ascending heights were planted in diagonal lines across the front yard. [They actually hired a professional landscaper to design this. Yikes!] First, we took out the diseased dogwoods that were planted closest to the house, allowing our contractors to excavate the foundations for some (relatively effective) waterproofing. Next, we moved the row of yew bushes to the property line to form a more practical hedge. (That was a bugger of a job, I can tell 'ya! Good thing I was a decade younger then.) In the space freed up, I planted an herb garden, using penny-pavers to lay out a quartered circle design. Well... there's really too much shade from the spruce tree to the south, and so the herbs didn't exactly thrive. However, the wild violets in the neighbourhood happily colonized the space. I've been meaning to dig them out for ages, but they keeping getting a reprieve each spring because they look so pretty when in bloom. Now, I still have a row of euonymus that I'd like to rip out, plus some spirea, to give room for a couple Muskoka chairs. Anyhow, I've planted lots of lily bulbs among the remaing shrubs in the meantime, and they make a nice show of colour in July. Cheers, Hester

falsies

Tonight, I made: Salmon "burger": baked fillet of wild Pacific salmon, on a warm Challah bun, garnished with Stilton cheese, fresh tomato slices, BBQ sauce, and tangy dill relish. Homemade oven-baked potato wedges And for dessert later, there's late-crop local strawberries