Jacky Tar

No, no, no! They were two seperate thoughts ...I'm Irish ...my character that is ...I'm American. Anyway, historically the British have caused a lot of problems for the Irish, and Silkie is from Northern Ireland ...If you want a history lesson I can give you one. ...? As to the sheep and VonUber-pyrate ...he was around at the inquisition ...figured he was old enough to sink Montoyas sheep. :) "I got it, no history lesson needed. I didn't think ye was nasty type!" "I thought ye was implin' I may have sunk his ship." "Yer sure fun to tease!"

"Darlin', VonUber-pyrate isn't British and what did those poor sheep ever do t' ye, t' be pasted to his likeness in such an un-natural way?"

"Nice list indeed, Cap'n Bob. But the intangibles are just as important." "The ability to say yer sorry, and mean it." "To be genuinely happy fer others, and not resent them, when they do well." "To partner in the raisen' of children." "Appreciate, the little things which often go un-noticed." "To share dreams, even the inconsequential ones." "To keep fallin' in love, with your partner, over and over..." "Most importantly, 'Trust' and all that it implies!"

"Aye... Silkie but ye was in finishin' school back then; I was press ganged, as a lad, and served time in the English navy, luv. Un-employment and the luv of a women, caused me t' become a pirate later in life." "Besides, I have no quarrels wit' the Spanish. Now the French, that be a different matter."

Jou are ON, Eengleesh high-seas creeminal type! ... Joaquin, show de man. "Inigo, ye was six when yer sheep sank, I mean ship sank, right?" Indigo nods. "Ye look like yer in yer early thirties. Look around ye, most of these scallywags weren't even born when yer ship sank!" "Now ye can do the math out loud, if ye like; 'cause Cap'n Siren luvs t' hear ye count." "Yer grudge is wit' pirates long since past; so, put the rope down man, and have a drink wit' us"

"He didn't tip all those tables fer nuthin' Silkie!" Mad Matt is a man on a mission, and no women is out of reach for long. Jacky, looks sadly at the almost empty bottle of rhum. Ray replaces the bottle with a full one, and Jacky's mood improves immediately. Ray offers Jacky some lemon wedges. "No thank ye, Ray. I believe the lemon maid won't squeeze out of Mad Matt's embrace, this time!"

"Care to join the 'Seelee Sunny Beaches Club', Cap'n Blackfoot? We mean t' recuit a few of the Aztecs as cabana boys and setup camp down yonder on the beach." "Thought abought a live pirate dinner show in the Pub, too! Fer the tourists. That may be a bit much fer the purists, but we aim t' keep things lively!" Jacky offers Blackfoot some more rhum...

Alternative rewrites: Yer right on a good day, I could only leap over one table; sorry, Mad Matt. The rhum bottle strikes the floor, and the rhum spills and drips through the floor boards of the Pub. Jacky picks up the bottle which has some rhum left, and sadly places it on the bar.

Jacky deftly caught the lemon wedge... Silkie missed him. He jumps, rolls and catches the rhum before it strikes the floor. "Matt the only spectacle I saw was ye tippin' tables!" Jacky returns the rhum to the bar.

Jacky puts out the sign-up sheet for the, 'Seelee Sunny Beaches Club'. "Put yer 'X's' here mates, if'n ye want to join." "LongTom, got it wrong mates; the Aztec nation were never ov'r a half million. Besides, I only counted about 1500 feathered dancers the other day; but, it were quite a show!" "Whatever, ye do mates don't give the spaniard enough rope t' hang himself. He's been offered a position as a cruise director aboard the Sea Witch."

Jacky Tar (Member of the 'Seelee Sunny Beaches Club') enters the club... I mean Pub... 'Inigo ye magnificent spaniard, ye don't need a Betty Ford Clinic, any sailor here can teach ye t' tie a knot!' 'Have a drink and will discuss raisen' yer sheep!'

Breath Matt, breath... Remember when a lass gives ye lemons, make the lemon maid!

"Iron Bess!" Ok... one. two.. three... four.... five..... six..... Oh yeah she's speedy... seven....... eight........ Any minute now... nine......... "Is Herself on a lunch break?" ten.........

So, yer idea of true luv, is t' find someone ye can drown wit'? Certainly puts a different spin on til' death do us part! - Jacky

"A sheep party?! Horrors!" Sterling says in alarm. "The Scots are here... watch yer backs, gentlemen and pets...." Jacky re-enters the bar, and mutters, 'Silly sod, sheep don't have feathers'. Ray I need a hand wit' this barrel! Ray and Jacky roll the unusually large barrel in the direction of the Sea Witch.

Jacky Tar enters the bar hummin', 'One little, two little, three little Indians....' Ray I'm goin' t' need more sacks, the ships' hold is burstin' wit' feathers! I've got to get another hogshead of Trader Vic's finest too, or Herself will have my hide. Those natives sure could put down Mai Tai's. Jacky scoops up some sacks, nods to Ray, Cap'n Siren, and Ransom, and heads back t' the Sea Witch.

It's been a few days of dancin', and only a handful of Aztecs are left standin'. Most have drop dead from exhaustion. Time to pick up the drum beat and finish off the last few feathered dancers. Jacky had heard tales that this is how the Mayans went out. Time to clean this up, before Iron Bess gets back; she has been on shore leave fer her natal day celebration. Jacky has cleaned up after other parties on the Sea Witch before, but this one was the largest by far... With the last bodies and feathers stowed away, Jacky sets out to restock the rum and Mai Tai mix...

Jacky has seen these dances before, and when the dancin' stops someone gets sacrificed in a gruesome pagan ritual. Jacky realizes he must keep these savages dancin' at all costs. There is only one safe place to take these savages; the only 24 hour party ship in the harbor, 'The Sea Witch'! The Sea Witch is captained by Herself, 'Iron Bess'. Iron Bess is always lookin' for a few more cabin boys, and probably won't notice a few extra Aztecs. Jacky picks up a drum, and starts a conga line, and heads out of the Pub, and up the gang plank of The Sea Witch.

Looky there... Inigo and the Village People... I mean Aztecs. Honestly mate, yer floor show needs a bigger stage. Have ye tried Vegas? Jacky muses, never a dull moment when Inigo comes in t' port.

Admiral Under Pants, where did ye say ye come from? From which of those lesser ports, or lesser sea powers did ye receive yer commission? That leadership... is it Grand Master Crew or maybe Snoop Dogg... Honestly mate, when the fellas wit' the sea nets come fer ye, go quietly, they be yer friends! Jacky Tar goes back to his drink.

Jacky Tar moves over t' a window glances out at the sea... Admiral Uber Imagination thar be no german or prussian ships in the harbor. The Germans had no real navy until the 1850's; they had no need, they sold thar colonies to the Netherlands in the early 1700's. The Germans were land locked as it were. As you now find yer self... Jacky moves back t' the bar to order more grog.

Jacky Tar enters the bar... Inigo really... What ever happened to... 'Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, Jou killed my fader prepare to die!' Jacky pulls up to the bar and orders some grog, and waits to catch the rest of the floor show.

Any pirate would berth wit ye in any Port, M'Lady. But ye must stop wit these stories about 'Makin Mary' an' leave it t' the Pirate Poet! y.h.s. Jacky Tar