CaptainBloodscalp

Charms/Old Blue Eyes

1000 flushes

Hanes/Apollo

MacFlushies

Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.

William Shakespeare

Fiddler's Green

As I walked by the dockside one evening so fair

To view the still water and take the salt air

I heard an old fisherman singing His song

Said, take me away boys my time is not long

Wrap me up in my oil skins and jumpers

No more on the docks I'll be seen

Just tell me oul ship mates I'm takin' a trip mates

And I'll see you one day on Fiddler's Green

Now Fiddler's Green is a place I heard tell

Where fishermen go when they don't go to hell

Where weather is fair and the dolphins do play

And the cold coast of Greenland is far far away

Wrap me up in my oil skins and jumpers

No more on the docks I'll be seen

Just tell me oul ship mates I'm takin' a trip mates

And I'll see you one day on Fiddler's Green

Where the sky's always clear and there's never a gale,

and the fish jump on board with one swish of there tails,

You can lie in your hammock, there nothing to do,

Cuz' the Captain's below getting drunk with the crew,

Wrap me up in my oil skins and jumpers

No more on the docks I'll be seen

Just tell me oul ship mates I'm takin' a trip mates

And I'll see you one day on Fiddler's Green

When you get on the docks and the long trip is through

There's pubs and there's clubs and Lassies there too

Where the girls are all pretty and the beer's always free

And there's bottles of Rum hanging from every tree

Wrap me up in my oil skins and jumpers

No more on the docks I'll be seen

Just tell me oul ship mates I'm takin' a trip mates

And I'll see you one day on Fiddler's Green

Now I don't want a harp nor a Halo not me

Just give me a breeze and a good rolling sea

I'll play me old guitair as we sail along

With the wind in the rigging to sing me this song

Wrap me up in my oil skins and jumpers

No more on the docks I'll be seen

Just tell me oul ship mates I'm takin' a trip mates

And I'll see you one day on Fiddler's Green:

Robert Di'nero/parrot

squirt burgers

A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Mckie D's

Genuis/paddle

In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.

-Solon-

funky

wisdom/mountain climbing

12 Year Old Scotch

A guy comes into a bar and asks the barman for twelve-year-old scotch. The barman thinks "This guy is pretty pretentious" and proceeds to pour him a drink of six-year-old scotch.

He gives it to the customer who takes a drink, exclaiming, "This isn't twelve-year-old scotch, this is six-year-old scotch"

The barman thinks, hey this guy knows what he's talking about, and the two of them get into a conversation about where the customer is from etc..

At one point an old guy, who was sitting at the other end of the bar comes over with a glass and hands it to the customer. The latter takes a drink, and spits it out.

"This is piss!" he yells.

The old guy nods and says, "Yeah, but how old am I?"

Thank ye mate.

“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

-Theodore Roosevelt -

skank

sky diving/beaches

shore leave

Sea World/ranch

Universal/Disneyland

extra time

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt-

cup of jo/Fox news

wookie