LongTom

I was going to suggest finding another good looking celebrity who bears a plausible resemblance to your wife, and comment on that resemblance too. (But then, not being a particularly good judge of the female mind myself, I wasn't sure whether that would backfire.)

Quackbeard ! [...sound of crickets chirping...] Calico Quack Rackham? Henry Merganser...? help us out, people, we're dyin' here...

When I said "Duck when the cannonballs start flyin'" this isn't what I meant...

"Indubitably, Inspector," rumbled the butler, unruffled, "your vaunted perspicacity has led you, on your quest as to who 'done it,' to the inescapable conclusion that it was I."

Have you made sure you are running the latest java? (grasping at straws here...)

Sorry, I already burned my Sir Francis Drake joke on the first one, and I'm at a loss. (That's a much better picture for it, though. The crossed drumsticks are a stroke of genius.) Okay everybody: CAPTION CONTEST!!!!

Gotta have these boots stretched, they irritate my corn.

Other web sites don't give you problems?

Silkie, m'dear, ye have my prayers and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

I like peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches.

Days and days now, and this thread still isn't exhausted.

Can't say I'd recommend that option, pirates or no. The law has a way of taking a dim view of such things, even if richly deserved. Better to not present the bastard with any sort of leverage.

There are other variants of the same stuff: Veggie Booty (it's green, smeared with something green and frightening like vegemite), Fruity Booty (fruit flavored), and, I kid you not, "Girlfriend's Booty" which is apparently a low carb version. Personally, I think the weight loss potential in this last one is more along the lines of running for your life after asking, "Hey mate, mind if I grab a handful of your Girlfriend's Booty?" The possibilities on that one are just endless...

Said Mole to his friend, "Why yes, thank you, I will have some pie, Rat."

Motives are necessary to establish intent.

^ is beautiful when she's angry :)

Nicely done, Patrick! Are the little flat gold things on top of each island platforms to put treasure on, or forts, or what? In the second picture, I like how one ship appears to be on the mountain top of an island. (Forced perspective is a pita. You can see where it really sits in the first pic.) Must be a Ghost Ship! Either that, or it's the HMS Ark, Capt. Noah commanding

A Useful Thing: Map of Recent Earthquakes in CA/NV If you google "Earthquake Map" you get a bunch of similar gadgets.

Ahoy there Circe! Welcome to the Pub! I'll spot ye a bowl of whate'er ye'll be havin. As far as signin' on with a local crew, ye'll no doubt have looked into the good folk passin' round the Articles in yon main thread called "Pirate Crews." There be crews from all parts there, and I'll be sure you can find a berth on a barque to yer liking and close to yer home port.

Sleepy people creep to the steeple, weeping deeply, then leaping.

Vicar, there's a beam in me eye what needs removing.

Potbellied woodstoves and gasoline do not mix. Don't ask me how I know this.

"Call me Sir Francis Drake." "Swashduckling"....?

"Whereabouts are you headed, eh?" growled a burly voice, as I was seized from behind in the act of turning to make a hasty exit.

Mint/English