Darkmalkin

I have one that's an axe and AND pistol. Ye shoots yer quarry, and then chops his head off. This saves havin' ta reload inna thick of battle.

Anytime!

El Pirata,

Brother, you seem ta be the only one in here wit the sense not to take me seriously.

Amazing,

Black Jack

I never takes ye seriously either....er, what's that beeping noise outside me house? Sounds like a big truck backing up...AAAGGGHHH

I think it is. Check out these underwear that I brought back from me recon mission!

Nice grouping.

I already know ... Twas me doin' recon earlier, remember?

Alrighty then. [signalling offstage for the anvil, the hook, and the tiny parasol.)

Ask 'im what he's got in his underwear drawer.

'Twas me. I was looking in yer underwear drawer, too.

Yes, but, Bruce Willis' immortal "Yippie-Ki-Yay-MF'er" has a certain appeal to it.

Hippo Hippo birdie, ta ewe, ta ewe!

I had a Great Dane that was 14 when I had ta have her put her down because of hip dysplasia. That's purty old fer one o' those big dogs. That was her name, btw...BD, Big Dawg. The lil ole crotchety Wienerdog of Doom is about 9, according to our vet. We have no way of really knowing her age, as we rescued her from the pound.

Rule #1 for life: Never party in tattoo parlors.

Rule #2 for life: Never take yer kids ta the animal shelter. They won't accept yer kids there (no matter what manner o' animals they be), and ye end up comin' home wif new pets!

"Happy birfday, Coyote me friend," booms the Valkyrie, presenting the Cap'n wif his very own limbo-stick-combination-battle-spear. The Wienerdog of Doom, following closely upon her mistress' heels, tosses its own gift ta the Coyote. 'Tis a Hand of Glory, already lit, ta guide the Coyote on his stealthy travels!

Exactamundo, two dogs! That's why I'M going to be a witch for Halloween! It'd be a nice change o' pace, thinks I. (Although me friends and relations might think differently... )

Or:

Val·ky·rie

Pronunciation: val-'kir-E also val-'kI-rE, 'val-k&-rE

Function: to wear chicken bones braided in her red and white hair, lob flamin' marshmellies inta th' sails, poke at ye wif 'er battle spear, and command her winged steed to drop poop on the deck of the Royaliste.

Also known as: Darkmalkin, th' Castaway o' the Cornfields, th' Pyromaniac Pyrate, flamin' wench, and other naughty things.

How'd I miss THIS? Ye forgot the limboing part.

Geena Davis. And me, o' course.

Premises liability, in case someone falls on their stupid head and decides it's your fault. Dram shop or the equivalent if yer going to sell alcohol. I had inclement weather insurance, too (but we're outside).

Advertising is a major issue, yes. Me (and anyone I can shanghai) put posters up from here to eternity. I had three radio stations doing spots and I still feel like I didn't cover enough territory. I had some good results last year with a group of us dressing up in garb and haunting public places like Omaha's Old Market. (Watch out about doing this in shopping malls -- they're considered private property, so you need permission, although if yer just shopping in garb, well maybe you can get away with it. I've been in just about every Walmart in this part o the country in me pirate outfit, because whenever I get to faire (I'm a vendor in me spare time) I find that there's a number of things that I need at Walmart. I know of a faire that did well with a "renaissance car wash."

Corporate sponsorship - We just get out there and ask folks. We offer it at various dollar levels, and at each of the levels, the contributor gets a little more bang for his bucks, starting out with free tickets and ending up with tickets, tshirts, banners and so forth displayed near the major attractions (in our case, the joust).

Don't forget ta get yer tax permits and alla that stuff lined up in advance.

Yep, I be forced to take me sword ta Gordian Knots alla time. If yer gonna have stage performers and more than one stage, then ya gotta schedule so that they don't interfere with one another. Same wif vendors, ye can't have all the same kind together. Ya gotta have a budget that you can AFFORD, so in case the thing tanks, you can still pay all the bills. Ya gotta have insurance, in case of stoopidity. Also, check wif the local businesses, they usually will agree to sponsor at various levels in exchange for various levels of perks.

Arr, matey, and tis home for lunch I be! Organizing an event is a strenuous task. Ye can have it all planned out on paper, but ye need ta expect the unexpected. (Bad weather can be the kiss o' death, although since it appears that you're planning an indoor event, that won't be such a big consideration.) A great part of it is advance organization, but ya gotta be ready to solve problems on the spot, too, and be prepared to take the flak when yer solutions aren't to everyone's liking.

You know, I've never been 'behind the scenes' at a faire, though I've attended a couple as a mundane. How much does it take ($, time, red tape) to set one up on your own?

I've done it twice now. Not so much red tape (at least not here inna cornfields -- might be different on either of the coasts). Lotta work, big price tag. If the weather ain't yer friend, yer in big trouble, matey.

"And Spongebob, otherwise known as the Sea Wolf, leaned closer to our helpless heroine, a rogueish look in his eye...."

I put Spongebob Squarepants in for the hero's name

It tells me, "sorry, dynamic pages in the img tags are not allowed." Whazzup wit dat?

Hey, how does a person get pictures o' stuff ta show up in their posts?

Very kewl -- I mean, ARRR, Quill, ye done well!