The iron man contest
A guy walks into a bar.
sits down and sees behind the bar a jar full of 100 dollar bills with a little sign hung around it that says iron man.
he asks the bartender about the money and he replies,
"well bubby you see we've got an iron man contest in this bar. you give me 100 dollars and then theres 4 tasks you have to do.
First you have to down six shots of tequila,
then you have to knock big al off his bar stool in one punch, hes the toughest guy in town.
thirdly, theres a rotwieler out back with a bad tooth that you have to pull out,
and finally theres a 92 year old woman upstairs that you have to make cum twice...do all that and your the iron man and you win the money.
the guy says no at first but after a few beers that money is looking really tempting and hes getting a little drunk.
" I'M YOUR IRON MAN!" he screams and slaps down a hundred dollar bill.
the bartender then procedes to line up 6 shots which the man pounds down intensely one after the other.
he stumbles down to the end of the bar grunting and squinting through one eye he cocks back and POW! one ounch knocks big al of his barstool.
staggering sideways he gos outside and all you can hear is the dog screaming god awful sounds. HOWL BARK YIP GRRR HOWL!
PANTING AND SWEATING HE SAYS TO THE BARTENDER " OK BUDDY, WHERES THE OLD BAG WITH THE BAD TOOTH?"
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Politics in the USA
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "what is politics?"
Dad says, " Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the head of the family, so call me the president.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so call her the government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people.
The nanny, we'll consider the working class,
and your baby brother, we'll call him the future.
Now think about that and see if it makes any sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying.
So, he goes to his brothers bedroom and finds that he has shit his diaper and it is leaking.
He goes in to his parents room to get his mom, but she is sound asleep.
Not wanting to wake her he goes to find the nanny, but her bedroom door is locked. He looks through the keyhole and there is his dad in bed with the nanny.
Finally, he gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning the little boy says to his father, "dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "the president is screwing the working class while the government is sound asleep.
The people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
