Jump to content

Rummy3

Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    1,784

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Rummy3

    jokes

    in Beyond Pyracy

    Posted

    Sex, Church & Pancakes

    Teen age sex: The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

    The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

    Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

    The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:

    "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

    Church: A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

    The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."

    The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

    The preacher said, "No shit?"

    Pancakes: Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

    With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."

    The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

    "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"

    "Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."

    jokes

    in Beyond Pyracy

    Posted

    Subject: You could see this one coming...

    A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help and she begins to pray....

    "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

    That night the blonde dreams she wins the lotto. Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.

    The next day she prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

    Lotto night comes, and again somebody else wins it.

    Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?

    I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.

    I don't often ask

    you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

    Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and the blonde is confronted by the voice of God, Himself...

    "Sweetheart, work with Me on this........... Buy a ticket!."

    How Hot Can You Get?

    in Beyond Pyracy

    Posted

    The heat here has been killer too. Went to the beach Saturday and when we got home, the Edison bill was waiting for us and it was over $600 this time! I have a guest visiting here from Alaska and we took her to Disneyland yesterday - what an experience! We were on PoTC and it halted while there was some crazy electrical storm outside. We sat in a boat and enjoyed the sights for an extra while. Then a short time later, the rain hit so hard - it seemed like the park was deserted, but the sun came out hotter and muggier than ever - we endured by visiting all the air-conditioned attractions we could find!

    Mud Room

    in Fiction

    Posted

    I love slippery nipples - my girlfriend makes them by the pitcherful! Her recipe is half Bailey's Irish cream, and half Butterscotch Schnapps! :huh: YUM! Pour it over ice and party on! <_<

×
×
  • Create New...
&ev=PageView&noscript=1"/>