William Brand

At first I gave no order as I surveyed her beams and rigging. She was a large ship but the eyeglass showed me she was riding high in the water and freshing away under full sail. I was hard pressed not to notice her bloodied hue and me legs, though sea worthy these many years, quelled a little on the deck. Fear? Excitement? Maybe both a warranted.

I passed the glass to the mate. He gazed a long time in silence.

"I can't see a soul on 'er cap'n."

I may cry...

...quick! More rum. Them be damn fine head coverings. AYE.

Step one: Buy everything new.

Step two: Get lost at sea for a year or two on a deserted isle with the one pair of pants, socks, etc.

Step three: Get rescued. Perfectly aged costume. Great getaway. Lose weight. Learn to fish. This method is multifaceted! Aye.

Arrr.

Ye give me a Tankard and a rail pin and i use as weapons. I dont care as long as the job be getting done

ARRRRr

Capt. Tark

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!

They scattered like bilge rats. Knowing his place, each man was to his duty. I smiled at the speed to which they took flight to orders. 'Twas a sight I had grown accustomed to over the years, but it satisfied me no less than the first time I had ordered a crew to the guns.

I remained hard rooted to the spot. My mate's words washed over me like so much mist as I stood transfixed by the fog. Abscently, I thumbed the hammers of my double barreled wheellock. It gave a satisfying click which brought me round to meself and I straightened to cry out me first orders...

The water lay in icy sheets of cold moonlight. Twas as still a night as a graveyard in Heathrow. One could near sea the sheen of silver darting shadows as schools of perch passed below.

Sigh...

I miss the sea.

Young pagan gods. Aye.

Well, let me see...

On Speak Like A Pirate Day alone I probably said ARRRRR! about 300 times last year.

ARRR!

Thar's somthin' in the rum, by George.

Somethin' in the rum.

A bucket of what? Chum? Rum?

'Tis true, 'tis true. Aye.

More rum!

(Joins Pyrate Phil in a silent toast of rum to the sea...)

aye.

Aye. Welcome matey. Welcome. I to am new to this place. Just be here as oft as possible and the piracy will rub off onto ye.

ARrrrrrr. Try the rum.

A happy birthday indeed. And let not knowing me be any reason not to except me sincerest well wishing.

Arrrr. Have another draught on me.

Me favorite be not listed. Arrrr.

The double barrelled Wheellock Pistol. Pretty little thing. That thar pistol and a cutlass be a fine thing when crossing abeam.

That thar be fine news indeed. Welcome aboard me fine wee one.

Arrr. Lets all drink to that.

That thar site be as fine a site as can be had.

I thankee. Aye.

Start yer own pirate pub thar. Ye'll attract pirates like flies to rum in now time t'all.

Thars a little pirate in everyone. Arrr.

To be quite honest. Yes. I certainly could.

Reasons:

I've been homeless.

I'm an excellent shot with black powder rifles. I've won awards with a musket.

I can sleep anywhere.

I've been a lifegaurd.

I can unswamp a boat.

I know most of the required knots.

I'll eat anything in a pinch.

I'm musically inclined.

I'm not afraid of heights.

I have some experience with swords.

I've lived the world over.

To name a few...ARRR!

This be why I follow only the captain most in power at any given moment.

ARRRR!