William Brand

(YAWN)

Wow. How long have I been asleep this time?

Now there be two threads!

I want to go to this one in the worst way! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I need a drink.

Hollister!?

Wow.

(hangs head in sadness)

My friends move closer to the old location and the faire moves farther away. Drat.

Ye be fine. Relax and enjoy the pub. All is forgiven when a pint passes between mates.

But that does remind me of a story. I once had a "Stitch Nazi", as you put it, get in me face about the material I used in an outfit. He was quite uppity that me outfit wasn't "period".

I just smiled me slow patient smile and looked at the white sneakers he was wearin' under his garb and cleared me throat.

He didn't skip a beat. He then attacked me hat.

I just smiled and kept on smiling until he was quite through. Then I went on enjoying myself.

What the...?

I be not quite awake it seems.

He wakes up under a date palm and stands up to stretch out his back and stride down to the sea to do some spearfishing. He throws off his long coat, shirt and boots. He wades out into the lagoon with a spear and a pension for killing sea creatures for breakfast.

I would tell a tale or two of ghosts, but I be better at it in person. Aye.

More rum!

Throws off his coat and proves yet again that man be not intended for the water.

I be a graceless swimmer, but I can tred water for hours!

Nothing...at..a...

Sorry. My mind wandered.

Yes. Yes I am.

(the grin of a practiced scoundrel spreads across a dripping face)

Yes I am.

Falls off of the rocks.

He wanders down the beach with his boots carried in one hand and a blue glass bottle in the other. He sings snatches of sea shanties and walks with no apparent care for progress or destination. He wanders further and further into the shallows, wandering in and out of tidal eddies and small surf carved pools. He makes note of the monochromatic blue that has overcome the world and more than once he turns his head up to admire Luna. He watches the gathering crowd at a distance and smiles at the voices he recognizes over the water. He turns a seashell over with one toe and considers its worth before making his way to the rocks.

He steps up to a sizeable stone and steps aboard the black surface. He surveys the cove, treelines and the lagoon. He makes note of those ships off shore, barely seen in outline. Only their watch lamps blinking. He considers the tin whistle in his coat, but chooses to hum and lay there upon the rocks. He smiles to himself at the not unwelcome heat of the day still contained in the rocks. He is glad that the night air has not leached it all out of them.

He dozes once, twice and then three times.

A sound both alien and familiar comes inland then. A whale has chosen to sing and no one can prefer sleep to that symphony. No one.

He enjoys it undisturbed except for those laughs which carry from the beach. And since these bother him not at all, he drinks and hums. Aye. Drinks and hums.

If ye had a giant slingshot ye would just shoot yer eye out. Aye. Take a long hard look at me avatar.

(turns away with a tear in 'is eye)

Kidding. More rum!

AVAST! Ye be a newbie Moon! I need to run and get me rum from ye. Aye!

More rum!

(runs to initiations tripping over Redd)

If you mean "Christine" then that depends on what she said. Aye.

If she said that I be ruggedly handsome, wise beyond my years, witty to the point of Nirvana and good at serving drinks in the rigging, then Aye. It be me she was talking about. Aye.

But if she said that I be a drunken fool with delusions of granduer and an oversteppin' knave with few if any morals and a weakness for the ladies with a tendency to speak in long unendin' sentences that prattle on about nothin' but me own good graces which are themselves lies an' tall tales, then aye. She was also talking about me. Aye.

I be a pirate stem to stern. Aye.

I leave for a week and suddenly the place turns into a Vegas night club on the wrong end of the strip. Aye. Or the right end...Aye.

Maybe I'll sell tickets.

Put a lass in a billowy shirt and she be wearin' enough to capture me attention. Aye.

When I do, I can hear the Universe. Aye. All of creation.

The rattle of coin, a good diddy of music and a dance. Ahhhhh...

Now if only I were near the sea.

The tip hat be empty!! What must a gent do to get a piece of eight around here!?

(dances about the table)

Somebody get me a table and a bagpipe player!!

(takes off hat and puts it out for tips)

I'll keep me thia silk headscarf on....aye.

(Waits for the stripping music to begin from the violin player)

I want this boat. Aye. I really want this boat.

I have to go rob a bank now.

Must have new coat....