Ultimate Wench

Ptchhh, who needs a sword when you have a perfectly good pair of knees at crotch height! A knee in the bollocks and a rolling pin in the face usually does the trick with your average rowdy pirate. You dinnae get points for fighting clean ya know.

Ach! I'm from Scotland. We get a special kind of scottish pirate over here = Extreme beardage and drunkeness.