Spydre Rogue

Arrr... This be me minde on th' subjickt: History be wot comes at th' pointe o' a quill; originatin' from an equally pointed head. Whilst pyracy be wot comes at th' pointe o' a blade; originatin' from an equally pointed argyumint. An' them wot hangs on th' words o' historians, swings from th' ends o' yardarms. So sez I. -Spydre //^@^\\

Arr... Here be one o' me ol' crew's fav'rites; wot they called "poppit on a string." Ye take yer intended vicktim and tie a rope round 'is waist an' under 'is arms an' toss it o'er a yardarm. Then, ye flay all the top meat off'n th' soles o' his feet and ye cast seawater on the deck. Next, lower th' condem'd down onta th' deck an' keep just enuff tension on the rope so thet all's 'e ken do is hop about kickin' 'is knees an' legs up inta th' air, screamin' bloody murder whilst 'e does. Mind ye, give 'em too much rope an' they al'ays throw themselves onta the deck an' flop about; but th' crew al'ays thought thet partic'lar amusin', so occasionally they'd let th' rope go slack, an' after a while yank their vicktim back up into th' air an' then back onta 'is feet. I ne'er much went in fer sich shenanigans but ye've got ta let yer crew have some fun wunst in a while; fertunately fer me, me new crew be much more refined. -Spydre

Arr... Here be another: Arsenal - Part of a dockyard that serves as a warehouse for naval military stores and weapons. Originally from the Arabic, dar-as-sina, meaning house of industry/construction. It was borrowed by the Spanish and Italians as darsena, and used as the general term for any dock. The Navy of Venice appropriated the term as the name for their dockyard, altering it slightly to Arzenale. Venice had one of the most formidable navies of the day and the Arsinale was synonomous with naval power. William Thomas said of it in his History of Italy, 1549, “The Arsenale in myne eye excedeth all the rest: For there they haue well neere two hundred galeys..." Eventually the word came to be used for all military naval docks and ports in general, and then specifically to just the weapons storage area of those docks; finally today it may be applied to any collection of weapons whatsoever. -Spydre

Arr... roger furl'd aloft batt'ries prim'd; grapnels a'hand here be th' true pryze Thet be th' size of hit, sez I. -Spydre

Arrr... Thet be th' stuff, PyratePhil! Be darned if'n I t'weren't thoroughly entertain'd. Let me buy ye a round from th' bar! -Spydre

Arrr.... Lord knows, hit be not easy ta be a pyrate in Michigan... -Spydre

Aye... I be not a pyrate o' many splediferous words an' phrases, but I offer me whole-hearted congratulations to ye an' yer missus, Cap'n Tito. An' allow me ta say on this occasion, in way o' a salute ta ye an' yer wife, that wot I wunst said afore 'bout marriage whenst confronted by a gang o' naysayers, wot were gathered in oppisition 'gainst th' takin' o' th' oaths o' matrimony. "...Me very own missus Rogue is th' polestar by which I guide ther good ship o' me own life. She's my first mate and second in command; a navigator too, fer she kin handle th' rudder when I be off duty; a quartermaster, as she tallies up all th' shares 'n profits o' our ventures in as neat o' line o' sums as ye kin count off; a right proper bo'sun as ye'll ever ask, specially when it comes ter dealin' with th' crew (wot be one Cap'n Kid, me other deckmate, swabby, and assistin' officer, aged 10) or boardin' parties o' telemarketeers (which she can put off with nary a loss ta me ship, life, nor limb); arr...and let us not fergit cook! Her tender morsels and vit'les be wot keeps us all underway on those days wot aren't assigned as th' cap'n's duty, fer even I, in recognish'n o' sich a val'yuable officer, take me own turn in th' galley, so's she kin have a bit o' shore leave. Aye, ye lads mark my words well: choose yer wife with as much care as ye'd choose a trusted officer, and ye'll not gang too far astray; nor ne'er be oft' dissatisfyed." An if'n I don't miss me mark, I be bettin' th' goode Cap'n Tito'll second me on this. Happy Annivers'ry, Cap'n! Yers, -Spydre

Arrr....! Blast ye, Bilgemunky, fer fillin' me head with highly unattainable, yet hauntingly d'sireable dreams! Who'd of known ye could have sich a thing....*sigh* Alas, tis not fer th' likes o' a penniless scalliwag sich as me. -Spydre

Arrr... rigged ta th' masts sails flutter in th' winde it's th' boat thet moves Now how be thet? -Spydre

Arr... Lest ye fergit (er ne'er knew) here be a few terms ye've all pro'lly heard in ev'ryday yusage wot came more properly from nautical origins. I tracked this listin' down as proper spoiles o' th' internet: Over the Barrel - The most common method of punishment aboard ship was flogging. The unfortunate sailor was tied to a grating, a mast or over the barrel of a deck cannon. To Know the Ropes - There was miles and miles of cordage in the rigging of a square rigged ship. The only way of keeping track of and knowing the function of all of these lines was to know where they were located. It took an experienced seaman to know the ropes. Dressing Down - Thin and worn sails were often treated with oil or wax to renew their effectiveness. This was called "dressing down". An officer or sailor who was reprimanded or scolded received a dressing down. Footloose - The bottom portion of a sail is called the foot. If it is not secured, it is footloose and it dances randomly in the wind. Booby Hatch - Aboard ship, a booby hatch is a sliding cover or hatch that must be pushed away to allow access or passage. First Rate - Implies excellence. From the 16th century on until steam powered ships took over, british naval ships were rated as to the number of heavy cannon they carried. A ship of 100 or more guns was a First Rate line-of-battle ship. Second rates carried 90 to 98 guns; Third Rates, 64 to 89 guns; Fourth Rates, 50 to 60 guns. Frigates carrying 20 to 48 guns were fifth and sixth rated. Pipe Down - Means stop talking and be quiet. The Pipe Down was the last signal from the Bosun's pipe each day which meant "lights out" and "silence". Chock-a-block - Meaning something is filled to capacity or over loaded. If two blocks of rigging tackle were so hard together they couldn't be tightened further, it was said they were "Chock-a-Block". Leeway - The weather side of a ship is the side from which the wind is blowing. The Lee side is the side of the ship sheltered from the wind. A lee shore is a shore that is downwind of a ship. If a ship does not have enough "leeway" it is in danger of being driven onto the shore. Windfall - A sudden unexpected rush of wind from a mountainous shore which allowed a ship more leeway. Groggy - In 1740, British Admiral Vernon (whose nickname was "Old Grogram" for the cloak of grogram which he wore) ordered that the sailors' daily ration of rum be diluted with water. The men called the mixture "grog". A sailor who drank too much grog was "groggy". Three Sheets to the Wind - A sheet is a rope line which controls the tension on the downwind side of a square sail. If, on a three masted fully rigged ship, the sheets of the three lower course sails are loose, the sails will flap and flutter and are said to be "in the wind". A ship in this condition would stagger and wander aimlessly downwind. Pooped - The poop is the stern section of a ship. To be pooped is to be swamped by a high, following sea. As the Crow Flies - When lost or unsure of their position in coastal waters, ships would release a caged crow. The crow would fly straight towards the nearest land thus giving the vessel some sort of a navigational fix. The tallest lookout platform on a ship came to be know as the crow's nest. Buoyed Up - Using a buoy to raise the bight of an anchor cable to prevent it from chafing on a rough bottom. By and Large - Currently means in all cases or in any case. From the nautical: by meaning into the wind and large meaning with the wind: as in, "By and Large the ship handled very well." Cut and Run - If a captain of a smaller ship encountered a larger enemy vessel, he might decide that discretion is the better part of valor, and so he would order the crew to cut the lashings on all the sails and run away before the wind. Other sources indicate "Cut and Run" meant to cut the anchor cable and sail off in a hurry. In the Offing - Currently means something is about to happen, as in - "There is a reorganization in the offing." From the 16th century usage meaning a good distance from shore, barely visible from land, as in - "We sighted a ship in the offing." Skyscraper - A small triangular sail set above the skysail in order to maximize effect in a light wind. The Bitter End - The end of an anchor cable is fastened to the bitts at the ship's bow. If all of the anchor cable has been payed out you have come to the bitter end. Toe the Line - When called to line up at attention, the ship's crew would form up with their toes touching a seam in the deck planking. Back and Fill - A technique of tacking when the tide is with the ship but the wind is against it. Overhaul - To prevent the buntline ropes from chaffing the sails, crew were sent aloft to haul them over the sails. This was called overhauling. Slush Fund - A slushy slurry of fat was obtained by boiling or scraping the empty salted meat storage barrels. This stuff called "slush" was often sold ashore by the ship's cook for the benefit of himself or the crew. The money so derived became known as a slush fund. Bear Down - To sail downwind rapidly towards another ship or landmark. Under the Weather - If a crewman is standing watch on the weather side of the bow, he will be subject to the constant beating of the sea and the ocean spray. He will be under the weather. Overreach - If a ship holds a tack course too long, it has overreached its turning point and the distance it must travel to reach it's next tack point is increased. Gone By the Board - Anything seen to have gone overboard or spotted floating past the ship (by the board) was considered lost at sea. Above Board - Anything on or above the open deck. If something is open and in plain view, it is above board. Overwhelm - Old English for capsize or founder. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - The devil seam was the curved seam in the deck planking closest to the side of the ship and next to the scupper gutters. If a sailor slipped on the deck, he could find himself between the devil and the deep blue sea. The Devil to Pay - To pay the deck seams meant to seal them with tar. The devil seam was the most difficult to pay because it was curved and intersected with the straight deck planking. Some sources define the "devil" as the below-the-waterline-seam between the keel and the the adjoining planking. Paying the Devil was considered to be a most difficult and unpleasant task. Rummage Sale - From the French "arrimage" meaning ship's cargo. Damaged cargo was sold at a rummage sale. A Square Meal - In good weather, crews' mess was a warm meal served on square wooden platters. Son of a Gun - When in port, and with the crew restricted to the ship for any extended period of time, wives and ladies of easy virtue often were allowed to live aboard along with the crew. Infrequently, but not uncommonly, children were born aboard, and a convenient place for this was between guns on the gun deck. If the child's father was unknown, they were entered in the ship's log as "son of a gun". Overbearing - To sail downwind directly at another ship thus "stealing" or diverting the wind from his sails. Taking the wind out of his sails - Sailing in a manner so as to steal or divert wind from another ship's sails. Let the Cat Out of the Bag - In the Royal Navy the punishment prescribed for most serious crimes was flogging. This was administered by the Bosun's Mate using a whip called a cat o' nine tails. The "cat" was kept in a leather or baize bag. It was considered bad news indeed when the cat was let out of the bag. Other sources attribute the expression to the old english market scam of selling someone a pig in a poke(bag) when the pig turned out to be a cat instead. No Room to Swing a Cat - The entire ship's company was required to witness flogging at close hand. The crew might crowd around so that the Bosun's Mate might not have enough room to swing his cat o' nine tails. Start Over with a Clean Slate - A slate tablet was kept near the helm on which the watch keeper would record the speeds, distances, headings and tacks during the watch. If there were no problems during the watch, the slate would be wiped clean so that the new watch could start over with a clean slate. Taken Aback - A dangerous situation where the wind is on the wrong side of the sails pressing them back against the mast and forcing the ship astern. Most often this was caused by an inattentive helmsman who had allowed the ship to head up into the wind. At Loggerheads - An iron ball attached to a long handle was a loggerhead. When heated it was used to seal the pitch in deck seams. It was sometimes a handy weapon for quarrelling crewmen. Fly-by-Night - A large sail used only for sailing downwind and requiring rather little attention. No Great Shakes - When casks became empty they were "shaken" (taken apart) so the pieces, called shakes, could be stored in a small space. Shakes had very little value. Give (someone) a Wide Berth - To anchor a ship far enough away from another ship so that they did not hit each other when they swung with the wind or tide. Cut of His Jib - Warships many times had their foresails or jib sails cut thinly so that they could maintain point and not be blown off course. Upon sighting thin foresails on a distant ship a captain might not like the cut of his jib and would then have an opportunity to escape. Garbled - Garbling was the prohibited practice of mixing rubbish with the cargo. A distorted, mixed up message was said to be garbled. Press Into Service - The British navy filled their ships' crew quotas by kidnapping men off the streets and forcing them into service. This was called Impressment and was done by Press Gangs. Touch and Go - This referred to a ship's keel touching the bottom and getting right off again. Scuttlebutt - A butt was a barrel. Scuttle meant to chop a hole in something. The scuttlebutt was a water barrel with a hole cut into it so that sailors could reach in and dip out drinking water. The scuttlebutt was the place where the ship's gossip was exchanged. Be feelin' footloose an' fancy-free, ta add ter th' list; fer by an' large, if'n yer post be not too garbled, then a welcome addition t'will be! -Spydre __________________ [raises a mug of rum and begins to sing] Nows I be th' spyder o' th' sea; an' ships wot falls in me web must suffer th' likes o' a rogue sich as me...!

Arr... Congrat'yalations indeed! Now seein' as ye be sich a goode artist an' all, be a goode lad an' draw me another mug o' rum! (Har har har har har!) *cough*- wheeze! Arrr...help, I done run aground on me own comedic shoals. -Spydre

Arr... Tho' I'd need ter do some ack-tual research, I'd be positin' th' theory thet pyracy as a whole t'were allowed ta' be conducted (more er less) with th' tacit permission o' all th' countries wot laid hands on th' Caribee Isles, and t'was this alone wot allowed it ta flourish an' be considered as a trade by those wot norm'ly t'would have steered clear o' criminality fer fear o' retribution by th' state. Since pyrates as a whole needed ta be allied with somone at sometimes in order ta have safe harbor ta put ashore, t'were constantly courtin' and bein' courted fer favour with th' local guv'ner's an power-brokers an' functioned as a mercen'ry naval force fer these small but important colonies, wot were too far away ta be policed by forces more needed in th' troubled European homelands. With th' pyrates constantly turnin' coat with th' winds o' fortune, t'would ne'er be a problem about th' balance o' power fallin' in favor o' anyone nation in partic'lar. O' course those pyrates wot proved least trust-worthy when honor bound, an' crossed more nations then t'any other, were marked out as examples an' hunted down if a'tall possible. Ye also be noticin' how, fer bands o' roavin' cutthroat thieves, pyrates us'lly be noted fer bein' oathbound an' honorable; almos' down-right chivalrous a'times? I figger it be based on these constant deals an' agreements thet would determine who be fair game fer whom on th' open seas. They t'were made pro'lly more with th' individual guv'ners and merchant barons o' th' islands then with th' actual direct consent o' th' nations they represented. Plausible deniability it t'was. An' it meant thet no matter who th' pyrates attacked, they was usually doin' it on behalf o' someone else, wot claimed 'em as heroes (pro tem) so as ta justify their own hired cutthroats as th' stuff o' legend an' story. Also, th' powers o' control needed th' income an' resources from th' 'pelligoes, but t'weren't much in th' way o' investin' back inta th' econimies they were bleedin' off. Now mind ye, pyrates t'weren't no investors or financial backers, but after weeks er more at sea, t'weren't int'rested in buryin' their treasure they were--but spendin' it! An' they spent it with wild abandon; by some accounts, practically hirin' out entire towns fer wild bouts o' drunken debauch and excess. Why, in one week a crew o' pyrates, wot had bin siccessful in raidin' another country's bounty, could provide more gold an' silver an' goodes in revinue fer th' colony wot welcomed 'em in then that same colony would e'er see in anytime soon from 'er own motherland! So, whilst no partic'lar country wanted ta see its hard earned loot pyrated away, pyracy helped all th' colonies remain self-sufficient, as well as insurin' thet no one colonial power was goin' ta make off with th' lion's share o' th' islands' wealth fer 'emselves. A'sides, all th' money t'would 'ventually make its way back home anyways in th' form o' trade and goodes perchases. When politicks back home settled somewhat, pyracy as a desir'ble means o' makin' a livin' came ter a somewhat abrupt end. Military forces were diverted ta policin' th' islands an' th' shippin' lanes. Pyrates, th' once oft-time allies, were granted no more deals or amnesties and were hunted down by any means; tried and hung. Trade routes became more'n a sight safer then t'were in th' past an' goodes flowed outta th' islands like ne'er before. Th' economies o' th' islands themselves dwindled in comparison, as they t'were beginin' ta lose more resources then t'were able ta be bringin' in or holdin' on to. Thus ended th' golden age o' pyracy in th' Caribee. Havin' said t'all that, it be entirely conjecture on th' part o' olde Spydre; so's ye kin take it t'all with o' grain o' salt. -Spydre

Harr... Whilst makin' me way down th' sidewalk yesterd'y, sunny an' clear, I came alongside o' a yard sale. An' thar she were: Treasure Island starrin' Charlton Heston. I took 'er home fer $3 and me family an' I gave it a once over. T'were a right powerful an' movin' performance an' seemed ta be true ta period, although, with a few small liberties takin' from th' acktual text, but none th' worst fer it. Th' entire Rogue family enjoyed it theroughly an' it lacked not fer action an' excitement a'tall. Why in fact, young Cap'n Kid beseeched me an' missus Rogue ter let 'im stay up past 'is watch in order ta see th' conclusion with th' promise of runnin' off ta brush 'is teef and jump inter 'is bunk jest as soon as t'were over. He was as good as 'is word. Yers, -Spydre

Arrr... On t'other hand, t'would venture, would I, thet fer th' most part, pyrates looked not ta th' future but lived in th' present; well dockumented it be th' outrageous spendin' sprees wot occured when pyrates made shore after ackwirin' loot. Not so well dockumented be examples o' pyrates savin' fer a rainy day. It be not truly part o' th' crim'nal mentality, sich as thet which pyracy t'would have bred. Much like yer common bandit er highwayman, wunst set, e'en with a prodigious take, they come back ag'in shortly thereafter havin' squandered it'all, which be their undoin', as sooner er later tis th' noose they ketch round their neck. If'n ye was ta indulge me, I'd e'en speckulate as ta why, fer this very reason (thet o' bein' free an' easy with their coyne), thet pyracy t'was allowed ta flourish fer so long in th' Caribee. -Spydre

Arrr... Keep in mind now, 'tis all manner o' things thet be happenin' in th' "name" o' booty; while on t'other hand it be in th' presence o' real booty when ye ken count on all th' bets bein' call'd off. -Spydre

Arr... Four weeks at sea without any alckohol?! Wot be ye, daft? Best ter be sick th' entire time, sez I, less'n ye come to yer senses at some pointe an' find yerself without a drink. Th' only cure fer th' open seas be rum. Less'n o' course it be tropical seas, an' then rum with pineapple juice. -Spydre

Arrr.... I say hit be like one big toole-box o' wondrous u-tensils. Not e'ery job ken be done with a hammer, nor one-sized wrench applied ta ev'ry bolt. Nay, sez I, veriety be th' spice ta life! Fer not e'ery neck deserves th' noose (some t' require hands on exper'yence) an' thar be more'n one way ter gut a lousy, sea-swillin' sprog! Aye. A round o' rum fer e'eryone wot voted! Yers, -Spydre

Arr... Not only ethical, me matey; mayhaps downright necess'ry! -Spydre

Arrr...it seems a bit unseemly ter haf'ta buy yer own treasure, but it be not as common ta come by as wunst t'was; tho' it still seems ter be ev'ry bit as precious and valyu'ble. This is a site wot has available silver reales and gold escudos in one's, two's, four's, an' th' e'er pop'u'lar, eights (tho' pyrate wisdom says all sizes fits me). Also other miscellanie and divers treasures and trinkets wot bin lib'rated from th' Spanish Galleon "Our Lady of Atocha" circa the year of our Lord, 1622, off'n th' coast of Key West; an other sich laden vessels wot missed out on previous occasions ta be pyrated proper-like. Clap yer deadlights on these loverlies: Forecastle Treasures Now mebbe thet loot be a bit out'n yer pocket's reach fer now, so's this next bit be not treasure o' th' stricktist sense, but it be right loverly none t'less. Fer when ye don't have th' time 'er materials, nor per'aps th' inclination ta whittle an' scratch a bit o' scrimshaw fer th' one wot occupies yer thoughts while ye be away on account, here be a gent wot will do it fer ye: Scrimshaw Fer Sale Alright now ye scalliwags, avast! Th' ole Spydre be off t'search fer more treasures, arr... -Spydre //^@^\\

That, me mate, has to be one of the strangest things I've ever read. On the other hand, it's true! And on yet another hand, it sounds like a pyrate inspiration/self-help book. ...I wonder if we could write one of those... I be a poster-child for pirate self-help! "The Arrgg Inside: Getting In Touch with Your Inner Pirate" by Red Bess Keep a weather eye out for it, mate. A best-seller in the makin', to be sure! Arrr.... What th' Devil....?! I think I be in ther wrong thread. Which way ta th' booze, wimmin, an sword fights? -Spydre

Arrr... I fancy th' name "Satan's Trident;" jest sayin' it aloud provides thet good gut-wrenchin' sensation o' terror thet ev'ry good pyrate ship should strike. It be not Irish, but if't be o' any consolation a'tall, I, meself, be of Irish descent an' I was th' one thought o' th' name. Yers, -Spydre //^@^\\

Arr... Mayhaps, mayhaps...but it take not longer'n a month er two ta develop or acquire a brand new slang term fer, good God knows, jest 'bout anythin'. Spendin' close time isolated with a band o' brother's be 'bout th' best thing for bringin' about unique terms; jest spend some time with gang members in yer local city, er fer thet matter any band o' young lads, especially those wot consider 'emselves outlaws er outcasts. The slang becomes pop'lar immediat'ly and gets passed along ta those wot be next enrolled in th' group as the population matriculates. This helps build a sense o' group unity an' history o' tradition. E'en tots at summer camps, wot be gone only o'er th' course o' a single summer, practice this. It can also be seen in th' military which also has an impermenint body o' recruits. Thus, I still propose thet pyrates are a prime example of a group wot pro'lly had a very rich an' varied slang thet may e'en have differed from ship ta ship, jest as street gangs (who don't be havin' too high a permanency fer members either) in th' same city may have somewhat varied lingos from each other an' th' gen'ral populace. Now I'm not suggestin' anythin' drastic mind ye, but I ken bet thet th' av'rage colonist t'would suspect a pyrate by hearin' his speach. Yers, -Spydre

Arr... I be learn'ed in linguistical studies ter some degree, but this be an aree thet I hev not delved inter. Howe'er...be thet as it t'were, I would venture to offer this partic'lar tidbit fer thought. Me young son, Cap'n Kid, be spendin' a fair parcel o' time with his best friend an' neighbor from next door, who be th' same age as he. O'er th' course of play, they be inventin' th' strangest jargon and phrases thet ye've e'er cared ta hear tripped o'er a human tongue. A'times it be all thet me an' th' Missus Rogue ken do ta make out what they be sayin'. Now, considerin' the length o' time an' prox-cimity thet an actu'l crew o' pyrates would be aboard ship together, not ta mention esprit de corps, and seein' as how most crews prob'ly e'en spent a good deal o' time together when ashore, I would posite thet it be possible thet pee-cul'ar dialects an jargons would've evolved centered roun' each pyrate crew an' the crews which they be associated er confed'rated with. T'was prob'ly English thouroughly bedrenched in a hodge-podge of varied dialects and slang from any number o' languages: African, Native American, Dutch, Spanish, French, Portualgese, and more. None o' which ment they couln't speak th' King's English when required, but true Pyrate cant twere prob'ly a wonder ta hear. -Spydre //^@^\\

Arrr.... Quick, git me another round; th' blasted test says I've almost won meself a Ferarri! By which I take ta mean some sort o' I-tallian corvette er other. Here's to it, me boy-o's!! -Spydre