The Pirate Hunter's Smarter Brother!

[Black Syren]

Hey I have some deeshes that need to be washed. *winks* You are more than welcome to come and scrub them.

[LongTom]

Hey I have some deeshes that need to be washed.

Capt Siren, you ARE a dish.

[Rosarita Montoya]

"Rosie, my leetle quesadilla, we have been t'rough thees over and over alraidy. How I supposed to recoup my investment in 'The Pirate Hunter' franchise, eef every time I about to make a capjoore, jou barge een and drag me off to wash deeshes? Look 'roun' jou, whad jou see? A whole beelding fool of pirates! Thees could be my beeg break, and jou tell me, 'comb home'?! Eet's very embarassing!"

"Inigo, my leetle conejo, jou know I want jou to be happy. But Joaquin has disappeared, and the peons..."

Rosie stops speaking and starts to remove the whip from her waist... Aztecs... Peacocks...!!!

"Joaquin did not dress the peons like Aztecs, again? Tell me thees is not true!"

[Capt. Sterling]

I wink at Capt. Sterling as the Spaniard meekly approaches his wife.

"You know, this could be better than dancing Aztecs."

I wager five gold Guineas on the missus...Sterling sniggers...

[Ransom]

I wink at Capt. Sterling as the Spaniard meekly approaches his wife.

"You know, this could be better than dancing Aztecs."

I wager five gold Guineas on the missus...Sterling sniggers...

"Done, but if he turns tail and runs within two minutes, you buy me a tankard as well!"

"Leetle conejo?"

[Jacky Tar]

"Leetle conejo?"

"Little quesadilla... Little rabbit... what is this? Battle of the Pirate Iron Chefs?"

"I'd like a piece of that bet, Cap'n Sterling. I don't think he'll run, but hoppin' away is a good possibility."

[Inigo Montoya]

"Joaquin did not dress the peons like Aztecs, again? Tell me thees is not true!"

H'okay, den: "thees is not true." Happy, Rosa? Now, eef jou weel escuse me for a meenute, I have soam pirates to deal wit'.

Capitan Siren, I am on to jour leetle obsession wid' me an my rope. Nex' I s'pose jou going to want me to wash deeshes jusing a soap on a rope, eh? (An' while we on de subject, how I suppose to pull a sunk sheep out of a rope, anyway? Anyone knows jou pull a sunk sheep out of de harbor!) Jus' so jou know, de Aztecs give me new meedel name, call me "Nahapan." And dat's wad' I say when it come to jour deeshes: "Inigo Nahapan."

Jou, False Ransom: why jou laugh at leetle conejo? So Rosarita, she t'ink I cute in my baidtime sleepers. So what, eh? Eef she say "leetle cojone" dat be somet'ing else again, but den I know she be talking about somebody else aroun' here.

And jou, Jacky Tar: funny jou should mention Iron Chef. Jou probably alraidy know dat "Rosarita has a special way to cook." How jou know so much about us, anyway? Jou been intercepting my despatches to de Cardinal wit'out a FISA warrant or somet'ing?

Now, Rosie... eef jou want me to be haippy, jou gon' use dat wheep to start rounding up some of dese creeminals. Jou join The Pirate Hunter, I make jou my downline, jou get reseeduals on any Pirate Hunters jou sign op under jou. Wad' jou say to dat, eh?

[Rosarita Montoya]

"Joaquin did not dress the peons like Aztecs, again? Tell me thees is not true!"

H'okay, den: "thees is not true." Happy, Rosa? Now, eef jou weel escuse me for a meenute, I have soam pirates to deal wit'.

Capitan Siren, I am on to jour leetle obsession wid' me an my rope. Nex' I s'pose jou going to want me to wash deeshes jusing a soap on a rope, eh? (An' while we on de subject, how I suppose to pull a sunk sheep out of a rope, anyway? Anyone knows jou pull a sunk sheep out of de harbor!) Jus' so jou know, de Aztecs give me new meedel name, call me "Nahapan." And dat's wad' I say when it come to jour deeshes: "Inigo Nahapan."

Jou, False Ransom: why jou laugh at leetle conejo? So Rosarita, she t'ink I cute in my baidtime sleepers. So what, eh? Eef she say "leetle cojone" dat be somet'ing else again, but den I know she be talking about somebody else aroun' here.

And jou, Jacky Tar: funny jou should mention Iron Chef. Jou probably alraidy know dat "Rosarita has a special way to cook." How jou know so much about us, anyway? Jou been intercepting my despatches to de Cardinal wit'out a FISA warrant or somet'ing?

Now, Rosie... eef jou want me to be haippy, jou gon' use dat wheep to start rounding up some of dese creeminals. Jou join The Pirate Hunter, I make jou my downline, jou get reseeduals on any Pirate Hunters jou sign op under jou. Wad' jou say to dat, eh?

"Wait jou just call me Rosa? Jou half me to deal wit right now! Why are jou doing rope tricks for Captain Siren? She is a lady capitan, no? Dis Ransom jou doing tricks fer her too?"

"Hey, Ransom! De nick name half nuthing to do wit Inigo's slippers."

"Dis Jacky how jou know heem? Is heem a food critic?"

"Inigo jou haippiness, is not high on priority list, eh."

"Why are all dese creeminals wearing peacock feathers in dare sombreros?"

"Inigo jou half some esplainin to do! De wheep I may use on jou, to take jou home; or, to kill Joaquin daid, daid, daid..."

"Whair are my peons?"

[Hester]

Hester, wandering aimlessly through the Pub, opens a door, walks into a room seething with tension, and exclaims:

"Oh, it's Don Juan DeMarco!"

[stares inquisitively at Inigo's crotch.] "Does it really sing?"

Not waiting for an answer, she flees giggling out the door and off to the hot tub, or the spa, or wherever...

[Black Syren]

    Hey I have some deeshes that need to be washed.

Capt Siren, you ARE a dish.

Now that be right sweet of you to say, Ray get the man whatever her prefers and put it on my tab eh? Then you may sit with me as we watch the rest of As this World Turns.

Inigo Montoya to Capitan Siren, I am on to jour leetle obsession wid' me an my rope. Nex' I s'pose jou going to want me to wash deeshes jusing a soap on a rope, eh? (An' while we on de subject, how I suppose to pull a sunk sheep out of a rope, anyway? Anyone knows jou pull a sunk sheep out of de harbor!) Jus' so jou know, de Aztecs give me new meedel name, call me "Nahapan." And dat's wad' I say when it come to jour deeshes: "Inigo Nahapan."

*Blinks innocently* Wait I have an obsession? Ponders this a few minutes and shakes her head Nope! then grins as his wife looks to her.

Oh Aye! Hey Ingenuis What did you call that rope again? Your little seex rope? But then I could have misunderstood as I do not speak your language well, Im still trying to find out how a sheep could sink in the harbour?

[Inigo Montoya]

Rosarita, Rosie, Rosa, Ro, Sita, Mamacita, jou who are de sun and de rain on my fields fool of migrant workers... now ees not de time.

Who jou gon' believe, me or a bonch of pirates? Look, dese peoples crazy! Look at dees one (gesturing at Siren), dere she go again wit' de rope talk! She a pirate and she not even know what a sheep is! She eidder crazy or illeeterate ... or boat!

Dees fellow Jacky Tar, I not know from Adam. Bot he call me a "mogneefeecent Spaniard" an dass good eenoaf for me. Jou could stan' take a cue from heem, jou know? (Hmmph. Call me "leetle bonny" een front of everyboady, eh?)

I promees jou, juance I get dees den of ineequity cleaned up, I gon' buy jou all de peacock fedders jou can shake a steek at. Jou know how many Betty Crocker Good Housekeeping points each juan is wort'? Hah? No, dat's coz jou not even look at de manuals for The Pirate Hunter before jou tell me eet a crazy idee. Jus jou wait an see, Rosie.

[Silkie McDonough]

you want soap opera ...you got it.

Horses are heard riding towards the pub door. They rear to a halt outside the door one rider tosses the reins of the steed to the other rider and swiftly dismounts, and comes to the pub entrance in a cloud of dust.

Which is strange because Rosarita came in from the rain just moments ago.

The silhouette of a perfect female form, The fringe dangling from her wide brimmed hat is the only movement in the pub, other than the dust that settles at her booted feet. She steps into the dim light of the pub, removes her kid leather riding gloves and her hat and hands them to a nearby pirate. Her raven locks tumble past her soft shoulders, past her waist, past her perky little tush, past her firm thighs, past her shapely knees, ...and bounce lightly as they reach their full length just below the tops of her boots.

Nothing is said as her smoldering dark eyes locks with Inigo's through long, thick lashes. The world around them fades as Santana's "Samba Pa Ti" begins to play. She wraps her arms around him and places her full ruby lips softly to his cheek. She breaths "Inigo" into his ear "I hear you may be in danger"

[Capt. Sterling]

"Done, but if he turns tail and runs within two minutes, you buy me a tankard as well!"

Tis a bet then!

[Capt. Sterling]

Anyone knows jou pull a sunk sheep out of de harbor!)

He didn't even make it out of the harbour!!!!

[Rosarita Montoya]

sheeRosarita, Rosie, Rosa, Ro, Sita, Mamacita, jou who are de sun and de rain on my fields fool of migrant workers... now ees not de time.

Who jou gon' believe, me or a bonch of pirates? Look, dese peoples crazy! Look at dees one (gesturing at Siren), dere she go again wit' de rope talk! She a pirate and she not even know what a sheep is! She eidder crazy or illeeterate ... or boat!

Dees fellow Jacky Tar, I not know from Adam. Bot he call me a "mogneefeecent Spaniard" an dass good eenoaf for me. Jou could stan' take a cue from heem, jou know? (Hmmph. Call me "leetle bonny" een front of everyboady, eh?)

I promees jou, juance I get dees den of ineequity cleaned up, I gon' buy jou all de peacock fedders jou can shake a steek at. Jou know how many Betty Crocker Good Housekeeping points each juan is wort'? Hah? No, dat's coz jou not even look at de manuals for The Pirate Hunter before jou tell me eet a crazy idee. Jus jou wait an see, Rosie.

"Inigo jou lieing spaniard, jou can't even remember my name!"

"Silkie, put a cork in it! Jou read too many romance novellas. Garcias, for the tushee comment, jou know that Pilates really works. Take note: no sombrero, no boots, no gloves, and oh jes Inigo has no goatee! If jou touch my Inigo or he does rope tricks fer jou, I kill jou... daid... daid... daid..."

At that moment Pepe dressed in Aztec bling, enters the Pub. Rosie is seething, and pirates with peacock feathers are streaming out of the Pub.

[Rumba Rue]

and Rumba Rue is behind the bar in absolute hysterical laughter...as Pepe clearly has invaded Fredrick's of Hollywoood..

[Silkie McDonough]

"Silkie, put a cork in it! Jou read too many romance novellas. Garcias, for the tushee comment, jou know that Pilates really works. Take note: no sombrero, no boots, no gloves, and oh jes Inigo has no goatee! If jou touch my Inigo or he does rope tricks fer jou, I kill jou... daid... daid... daid..."

um... I wasn't describing you ...and certainly not me. Additionally I don't read romance novels. I confess to having watched a few soap operas in my lifetime

...I just wanted to play without creating a new log in name. Believe me, I am a good friend of Inigo's ....well the person who is Inigo. Helped them develop the character ...I love what they have done with this thread.

I was describing:

Agustina Camelia Teodora Esmeralda Narcisa Lastnametobedetermined

Do you read your PM's Rosie?

[Inigo Montoya]

Nothing is said as her smoldering dark eyes locks with Inigo's through long, thick lashes. The world around them fades as Santana's "Samba Pa Ti" begins to play. She wraps her arms around him and places her full ruby lips softly to his cheek. She breaths "Inigo" into his ear "I hear you may be in danger"

Montoya, his eyes sliding between Rosarita and this new interloper, thinks to himself "Lady, jou don' know de half of eet." Wondering whether he suffered a blow to the head during his captivity among the Aztecs, he carefully disentangles himself.

"Rosarita, jou who are de hot beach in my Clob Maid vacation, I ... ehhhhm ... I like jou to meet .... ehhhhm ... " At a complete loss for the moment, he turns to the newly entered vision and says, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. Prepare to d-- no, scratch dat last part. Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. Nice to meet jou."

[Black Syren]

This just gets better and better, bring on the popcorn. Im not crazy and Im perfectly literate im just trying to figure out why you would sink your sheep in a harbour?

[Capt. Sterling]

im just trying to figure out why you would sink your sheep in a harbour?

Just the natural result of Inigo sailing his own sheep....

[Silkie McDonough]

"Inigo! Jou no recognize me? So sweet of jou! Jes my weight loss hass been treemendous! Papa paid for deal-a-meal and I spend hours at the geem, weight training and cardio ...n'jes Rosie pilaties does do wonders for the tushie."

She slaps her hand on her own tight tush.

"Now Inigo my pequeño primo. Imagine me a bit rounder"

She puffs out her cheeks

"No?"

"I am Agustina Camelia Teodora Esmeralda Narcisa ..............

Montoya, but jou always call me Teddy"

Inigo's jaw drops.

"Jes, jour cusssin!" She smiles broadly

"Now, Rosie, who said anything about romance? We are not keesin cussins! ...My little cusssin needs help wit hees dream of hunting pirates ...he belived in me all the years I waddled around Spain ...I am here to support heem!"

She places her fists on her perfect little hips in defiance of anyone who would stop her 'pequeño primo'.

"Hey, Inigo ...Jou no seem so little no more! ...have jou grown?"

[Capt. Sterling]

**sigh** no Mexican cat fight.....

[Ransom]

"Done, but if he turns tail and runs within two minutes, you buy me a tankard as well!"

Tis a bet then!

Might want to take cover under this table, in case little Rosie starts throwing things—including her husband!

[Jacky Tar]

and Rumba Rue is behind the bar in absolute hysterical laughter...as Pepe clearly has invaded Fredrick's of Hollywoood..

Pepe walks over to RumbaRue at the Bar.

"Rumba, Jacky sez to give jou these feathers to makes more hat pins, for de pirate sombreros. Heem sez day sellin' like hot tamales!"

Pepe places a sack of peacock feathers on the bar. He turns ands nods to Señora Montoya. He stops in front of Señor Montoya.

"Señor, de peons, I mean the Aztecs, are getting restless; jou tink we can go home now?"

[Rosarita Montoya]

"Rosarita, jou who are de hot beach in my Clob Maid vacation, I ... ehhhhm ... I like jou to meet .... ehhhhm ... " At a complete loss for the moment, he turns to the newly entered vision and says, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. Prepare to d-- no, scratch dat last part. Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. Nice to meet jou."

"Dats it! I'm no Clob Maid."

"Jou want to see what kind of hot beach I can be?"

The whip in Rosie's hand becomes a living thing. The whip lashes out and catches Inigo by the boot, and with sharp tug, he is dropped to the floor. Rosie drags Inigo from the bar, kicking and screaming. Pepe follows the couple from the Pub, as if he's seen this before!

.... to be continued.