PyratePhil Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 When Batman Is Bored... *Alone the great crime-fighter sits in the Batcave, everything quiet except for the occasional squeek of a low-flying bat. This recent trend of dropping crime rates in Gotham has just been the final straw... He brightens for a moment, then reaches for the Batphone...* *Dials 1-800-BIG-JOKE...* "Hey...it's me...yeah...I didn't get you at a bad time, did I? You sure? OK... Listen...the reason I'm calling is- what? Yeah, yeah, he's ok, he's fine...NO, I SAID he's FINE... LOOK! Leave Robin OUT of this for once, would you, please? I mean, I KNOW you have a thing for killing off all my Robins, but... What? .....ok, sure, yes, I accept your apology. Now, can you let me finish? Anyway, this whole "drop in crime" thing has me - I don't know - kinda' depressed, and I figured YOU might know what to say... Well, yeah...but it's like, what's the point, ya know? All this technology, all the training, the rep I have, and big zip to use it all on... Well, because you're an insane clown, that's why...yes...yes...yes, I KNOW I'm responsible for that! Geez, would you let it go already? OK...I'm sorry too...look, I'm really bitchy since Catwoman left town. Just don't take what I say too personally, ok? Hmm? OK....ok...yeah...I don't know, why DID he cross the road? .... (groan) ...oh, man, like you haven't told THAT one a thousand times! Come on, get some new material, would ya? ...*long pause*... ...I didn't know you felt that way...no, no, it's OK, it really is. We ALL get blue sometimes...geez...and here I am dumping on YOU... OK...tell ya what...no, don't cry...come on...who's a Big Joker now? Huh? HUH? ... ...*laughs* THAT'S my boy! Listen, I was thinking...there's an exhibition of rare comic books planned at Gotham Museum next week...yeah....oh, yeah, rare stuff...I don't know...come on, how should I know if they have "Little Lulu"? ... Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud here, but how'z about you crash the exhibit on, say, Tuesday....is 9 OK with you? ...No, AM...that night stuff is for the birds... OK, great! I'll give you 10 minutes to work the crowd...then I'll make my entrance. This is great! Why didn't we do this sooner?... ...OK...ok...yeah...uh-huh...OK, look, Jokey, I don't want to be rude, but I gotta set up for the Museum caper - my utility belt is totally blotto from that party you threw two weeks ago... ...OK....ok, I'll see you then...my best to Harley...ok....bye. *Hums as he gets up and goes to the Bat Supply Closet* ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumba Rue Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Calls a phone sex line "Hello big guy, what do you want tonight?" "Uh, surprise me" "We have two fine young ladies for you." "I've done that already. What else do you have?" "How about a really cool gal with big hooters?" "Naw, I feel like I'm getting crushed everytime they get thrown into my face." "Slavery?" "Nope, I'm a friend of Abe Lincoln's" "Well how about bondage? We have a Lex Luther look-a-like just for you?" "Hmmmm, yes that sounds good. Just let me get my rubber doll that looks like him." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 15, 2006 Author Share Posted July 15, 2006 ...cruises eBay... _____________________________________________________________ Batman 1989 rare stuff Keaton Nicholson 0 $300.00 3d 2h 02m Standee - Magazines - Merlinsticker Box Buy It Now $325.00 This seller accepts PayPal - ____________________________________________________________ Batman Begins Cowl and Cape Custom Costume Prop 14 $290.00 3d 15h 20m This seller accepts PayPal ______________________________________________________________ "No bids? NO BIDS??? THAT'S RARE STUFF!!! 17 YEARS OLD!!! " *calls Alfred as he starts clicking the mouse* "Get the BatCard, Alfred - I'm going shopping..." ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Still have my original Batman Credit Card from when I was a kid. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 16, 2006 Author Share Posted July 16, 2006 Didn't even know they HAD those, but I'm not surprised. Before it all got ripped off, I had quite a collection of Bat-orabilia - but never a credit card. LOL ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbados Sam Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I always thought he waxed his pole when he was bored "There be the chest, inside be the gold, we took them all. Spent them and traded them. We frittered them away on drink and food and pleasurable company. The more we gave them away, the more we came to realize... the drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths, and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust. We are cursed men....Compelled by greed we were, and now we are consumed by it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 16, 2006 Author Share Posted July 16, 2006 I thought Alfred did that for him... ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Actually, he and Robin waxed their poles at the same time whenever there was action to be had... ------ Still have all my Batman memorabilia. One complete Batsuit (with enough extras to make it different everytime), with an impressively functional utility belt. I have a collection of batarangs which includes most of the models used in the films -- most of these I made myself (much cheaper). When I was dating my current wife, she was immediately impressed by the fact that I had in my apartment a "Bat Closet," which housed all my Bat Props, with the Bat Suit hanging (in all its glory) when you opened the door. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 16, 2006 Author Share Posted July 16, 2006 Heh, heh... We fanatics have to stick together...I was lucky enough to have a spare room... You can imagine what I did for decorating... ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 While I am trying to find a faster method to get to the basement. And what to do with this 40 foot brass pole? "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 I can't imagine. There must be something you could come up with... ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 with an air of boredom, Batman gets into his car and drives downtown, making his way to the city hall in the dark.. He goes up to the top, and finds himself on the roof. Looking down, he sees all the masses of people, in the street lights. Moving his hands, clutching them over and over, he finds some peace for himself.. hand puppets on the Bat signal works every time.. there's a butterfly. Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 I love it, Merry! ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 .... this one should bring Catwoman... "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Holy Halibut, Batman! What arch-fiend could THAT be??? ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrydeath Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Feeling bored, Batman gets into his Batmobile. He takes off in a puddle of spent gas, $3.00/ gallon, and goes to his favorite place to play. He walks in, and starts to heckle the inmates... 'Look at em, they can't even walk right!! They look stupid in those outfits. They smell like dead fish!! ... damn penguins at the zoo." Pirate Lass with sass, brass, a cutlass, an a nice *ss. Capt of the FOOLS GOLD PIRATES BLAST BREAST CANCER! GET A MAMMOGRAM AND SAVE YOUR TREASURED CHEST: http://www.myspace.c...iratesthinkpink http://www.myspace.c...oolsgoldpirates CAPT OF THE ONLY PYRITE SHIP AFLOAT: THE FOOL'S GOLD- look for us and Captain Merrydeath on facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Jack Daniels Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 We have the Batman vs Superman thing going on here in my house, Guess who my fav is.......... I fear not heaven nor hell....for the sea shall judge me!! Captain J. Daniels Better to be hated for who you are.......than loved for who you are not CaptainJackDaniels@pyracy.com Black Pearl Leather & Finery My Webpage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Ah, the Eternal Struggle - not between Good and Evil, but - who's cooler, Batty or Supes? I always fall back on the line that Supes was born with his powers, already had the suit, didn't have to do squat except discover his powers at an early age and then use them. Bats? He had it rough, man. Watched his parents shot down - had to train nonstop to get into fighting shape - had to come up with all his own gadgets. Plus, of course - the deciding factor - the outfits. I mean, c'mon - red and blue with a big-ass "S"? Riiight... Basic black is SO much more fashionable, and it doesn't clash with your arch-nemesis' outfit. ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 ... On top of that, Superman -- because of his innate super-powers, cannot bring himself to kill. Batman has no such qualms. So, in a fight to the death, Batman would be the hands-down winner. Good vs. Evil? No, they are both good. But Superman won't step over The Line. Batman will take any Means to reach The End. And according to the DC Universe canon, Batman is perhaps the only living human who does not trust Superman -- preferring to trust instead the adage "absolute power corrupts absolutely." ...This is why, also according to canon, Batman keeps a piece of kryptonite in his cache of weapons. Batman chides Superman for being a Great Big Do-gooder Boy Scout, but hanging on to the only ultimate weapon in case the ultimate Good Guy goes bad? Now that's what I call Being Prepared. Basic black is SO much more fashionable, and it doesn't clash with your arch-nemesis' outfit. Especially when your arch-nemesis is a white-skinned, green-haired clown who prefers to wear purple. Black is this year's Purple. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Especially when your arch-nemesis is a white-skinned, green-haired clown who prefers to wear purple. Black is this year's Purple. But remember - we MADE him that way... *sigh* ...one little mistake, and these jokers never let it go... Food for Thought: what if they re-designed Boy Scout uniforms in the style of Batman? ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Food for Thought: what if they re-designed Boy Scout uniforms in the style of Batman? I would sign up as Scout Master. Helping old ladies across the street would be a breeze with compressed-air-deployed grappling hooks. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyratePhil Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Man, I would SO look forward to Jamboree... ...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum... ~ Vegetius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Imagine what the Pinewood Derby would turn into with all the bat-gadgets to be employed? Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Mermaid Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Syren Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 My derby winner would have spewed oil so all the other little wooden cars would crash levaing me...THE WINNER!!!! *laughs diabolically* Oh wait..I cant be a cub scout or boy scout..Goes back to the bluebirds and girl scouts.... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v519/Dara286/trident01-11.png If you got a dream chase it, cause a dream won't chase you back...(Cody Johnson Till you Can't) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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