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Blackbeard Movie on Hallmark Channel


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Did you read the teaser for this? http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/us_framewor...DAM_FAM_5346404

It's rather ridiculous... :lol:

In the Golden Age of Piracy, at the dawn of the 18th century, Blackbeard stood out among the lawless rogues as the most fearsome and notorious seafarer of them all. He killed for the reputation, and his reputation has become legend.

In order to restore safe passage to the sea lanes, Lieutenant Robert Maynard of the Royal Navy scouts the seas and offers amnesty to all pirates who choose to give up their evil ways. An imposing force, Maynard meets his match when he’s taken by a fearsome menace in the West Indies, a pirate sailing off the Island of St. Vincent. Edward Teach has secured for himself a 26-gun, richly laden French “guineyman” that will serve as his new flagship. His goal, to find and lay claim to the fabled treasures of Captain Kidd.

Transformed into the newly christened Blackbeard, Teach establishes a devilish image with his long black coat, black hat, bandoleered cutlasses, pistols and swords. The educated Maynard, his greatest adversary, can be of great use to Blackbeard. What unfolds is an epic battle for control of the seas, for the honor of Maynard’s beloved friend Charlotte Ormond and the possession of untold riches that lie buried in a place as fearsome and unpredictable as Blackbeard himself: the ghostly Vulture Island.

I guess the real history wasn't exciting enough. :o

Sea Captain: Yar, that be handsome pete, he dances on the pier for nickels!

Sea Captain: Arrr... you gave him a quarter, he'll be dancin all day.

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I guess the real history wasn't exciting enough. 

Well, it is the Hallmark Channel, afterall. I'm just glad they didn't try to make Blackbeard a misunderstood romantic, or show that he was actually plundering booty in order to fund an orphanage.

Of course, we haven't actually seen it yet, so prolly shouldn't rule anything out :lol:

I AM BILGEMUNKY

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:lol: Good point Bilgemunky!

Anyway, just bumpin' this to remind everyone to set their DVR's, VCR's or alarms to watch thi on Saturday night!

Sea Captain: Yar, that be handsome pete, he dances on the pier for nickels!

Sea Captain: Arrr... you gave him a quarter, he'll be dancin all day.

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Finally! Ye all posted something about an upcoming movie in time for me to tape it! I keep seeing these posts after the pirate movie marathons are over!

Local (Chicago) time, the movie is on at 7 pm, and replays at 10 pm. I'm setting the VCR in the basement to catch this one.

Will also stop by a Hallmark store during today's errands to check out that promo card thing...

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"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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Oh man! I watched about an hour of this movie tonight and finally gave up and left the room...what an UTTER PIECE OF CRAP! Very disappointing...the costumes were outrageously ridiculous, especially that "tank-top" looking waistcoat "Blackbeard" was wearing. Sad, considering the fact that I actually like Angus MacFadden. By all accounts, I believe Blackbeard was a huge monster of an Englishman, not a short, squatty, Gaelic-accented fellow...I definitely would NOT recommend this one, folks. :lol:

"Now then, me bullies! Would you rather do the gallows dance, and hang in chains 'til the crows pluck your eyes from your rotten skulls? Or would you feel the roll of a stout ship beneath your feet again?"

---Captain William Kidd---

(1945)

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Well it became obvious to me early on that this was a half a$$ attempt to immitate the Haratio Hornblower series. This wasa far cry from hornblower and obviously entirely fiction. Poor acting, crappy effects and really shitty editting.

but hey it's just my opinion.

Sir Beachem Quick,

Captain of the . . .

TheMW-1.png

. . . a small but dangerous

crew.

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Well it became obvious to me early on that this was a half a$$ attempt to immitate the Haratio Hornblower series. This wasa far cry from hornblower and obviously entirely fiction. Poor acting, crappy effects and really shitty editting.

but hey it's just my opinion.

Aye.... I nominate it for the second worst pirate movie ever made !!!!

>>>>> Cascabel

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Well if that wasn't an exercise in stupidity I don't know what it was. Obviously written by someone with an advanced degree in Bovine Scatology. I mean if you want to make a movie about going after Kidd's treasure, fine, just don't try to sell it as history and use historical figures out of context.

Nice ships. Some good costumes (a review Kass?) All else was...well...one does not need a dregree in Bovine Scatology to know what that steaming pile collecting in my television was.

Or am I being too harsh?

Nahhh...

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My occupational hazard bein' my occupation's just not around...

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I'd rather claw my own eyes out than watch that movie again. Mindnumbingly idiotic story, abominable acting, and ludricrous costuming (I had no idea there were "wife-beater"-style waistcoats!). What's next? "Santa Claus vs. the Pirates"? :ph34r:

The "M&M's" commercial with Ragetti more accurate and entertaining.

If you'd like to give Hallmark an ear full about their insipid moviemaking, here's the feedback form.

Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that?

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Sure the waist coat was wrong.., the new land pattern pistols were way out ! .,no queen anne pistols at all to my surprise . Also the Lady Washington is a 1797 replica., about 77 years new., the Lynx even newer with her gaff rigging., however I must say it was alot better than reruns of "Friends". I would watch it again.,and if it were a TV show.,I would see it every week. After all it was a budget production that most people would not be able to find the faults. But a trained eye can.., and there fore will. The story was incorrect as well., Maynard was never with Teach lookin fer Kidds treaure we all no that. But is no diferant than role playing on the pub is it?., and with better toys and graphics I might add. Besides Stacy Keach is a better actor than me on the Pub anyway.

But I would still take it over BareBack Mountain. This was not a documentary., as POTC2 is not either., so will everyone be as hard on the Shark pirate and Davy Jones in Disneys upcoming fantasy?

I doubt it. And Disney spent a lot more on there story., and to top it off ., this was FREE and disney will charge you...., PIRATES !

I am just trying to be objective here., critisizing everything is to easy and to common aroun here..,there are a few silver clouds ya know.

Icant give negative feedback to Hallmark.,because that would not make them do" a better job" It would probably they would stop doing the pirate.,thats all.,I would rather this than nothing.

I am not Lost .,I am Exploring.

"If you give a man a fire, he will be warm for a night, if you set a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life!"

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I was distracted during the entire movie... had too much to do, so I pretty much ignored it "live" in the living room while I taped it on the basement VCR. The first ten minutes featured a pretty decent hand-to-hand combat, which looked GREAT -- considering I paid it almost no attention whatsoever.

Missed almost all the rest of it. Interesting little bit with the hidden code (treasure map) in the letter, some stupid stuff about a pistol-toting woman, reavealing information about how Richard Chamberlain's good looks have not held up well with age, and ... who was the Scottish guy with the scraggly beard in the wifebeater T-shirt?

At 10 pm, I went back into the basement to rewind the tape and re-tape the show, this time catching all the opening credits.

From what I saw, this is the Greatest Pirate Movie Ever ... (bear with me)... to put in the VCR when I cannot get to sleep, pretend to be entertained by the opening fight sequence, then fall asleep because there is nothing engaging in it that will keep me awake. This will be a very valuable tool in my Insomnia Sleep Aid Library.

04de8cfe.jpg

"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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Alas, me comrades, I regret & apologize for the initial posting informing about this awful production. The teaser information was enough to tell one that it was just for entertainment and not based on history, but there was no way of knowing how bad it was. The nice thing about the Hallmark show was seeing the Lady Washington & Lynx under sail. And like Capt'n Pete Straw, I, too, fell asleep during it. The SS Minnow of Gilligan's Island was named by show’s producer Sherwood Schwartz for the 1961 FCC’s chairman Newton Minnow –who called TV “America’s vast wasteland”. Some things never change.

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Here's my take on this show:

It did suck, but not totally. It wasn't a greater offender in the accuracy/feasibilty arena than any of the classic technicolor era pirate films...it's worst fault is that these days there's no excuse for that, while the old films like The Black Swan have charm and nostalgia going for them.

Angus makes a GREAT pirate, just not Blackbeard. Would have been better to just shoot a fictional story than to toss a few names in the blender with some Asian islands and 19th century naval uniforms & ships.

If I were a North Carolinian I would be personally offended at the fact that NC is not mentioned ONCE in the whole 3 hours. I mean Eden and Blackbeard are part & parcel with North Carolina history, not Nassau.

My favorite historical innaccuracy wasn't with the pirate gear, clothing or weapons, but when Blackbeard is meeting Eden in his office at his mansion, in the background you can clearly see bright, shiny Home Depot pressed brass hinges on the doors that open out onto the garden. Too funny. It's like you KNOW they probably threw that whole mansion set together in a month or so...you can almost hear the battery-powered whine of the Black & Deckers putting the finishing touches on minutes before the direct shouts "Action!". :)

I basically sat thru 3 hours to see the closing shot of Teach's head swinging from the bowsprit...didn't happen. Instead we get a Titanic-esque rosy sunset scene...but then this IS Hallmark. Ah well.

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Alas I don't get the Hallmark channel, so it appears I missed little. However, I have to say this: Thank you to the Hallmark channel for hiring those who love to play pirates. Anyway any of us who can get paid to play pirate, I say Huzzah!

I also say Huzzah! to Disney for reviving the tradition of hiring Tallships to help keep them afloat and to the Hallmark channel for hiring them as well. Who needs industrial light and magic when you can get the real thing?

~Black Hearted Pearl

The optimist expects the wind. The pessimist complains about the wind. The realist adjusts the sails.

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A YAwn for me//

http://www.myspace.com/oderlesseye
http://www.facebook....esseye?ref=name
Noquarter2copy.jpg
Hangin at Execution dock awaits. May yer Life be a long and joyous adventure in gettin there!
As he was about to face the gallows there, the pirate is said to have tossed a sheaf of papers into the crowd, taunting his audience with these final words:

"My treasure to he who can understand."

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;) Argh...it was awful! I had such high hopes for it too...le sigh...but as Black Hearted Pearl mentioned, perhaps the hiring of these tall ships thereby keeping them afloat, will help maintain them for a day that they can be used for a movie of better quality...

I haven't deleted the show off my DVR yet, but I'm not so sure I want to finish watching the last 2 hours anyway... ;)

Sea Captain: Yar, that be handsome pete, he dances on the pier for nickels!

Sea Captain: Arrr... you gave him a quarter, he'll be dancin all day.

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It was gawd awful.

I did sit through all three hours last night (not quite 3 since I zipped through the commercials) hoping that it would get better... kind of like watching NASCAR for the crashes...

my biggest peeves:

Blackbeard had an cockney accent and was shorter than most of the other

characters.

Maynard was "pressed into service aboard the QAR" and pretended to be a former privateer - huh?

Governor Eden was the Gov. of New Providence in the Bahamas.

They created a character "Charlotte Ormond" who was Maynard's love interest.

Inordinate number of male characters with modern haircuts and goofy facial hair. Especially the guard that blackbeard kills when he arrives in New Providence.

It would make a good drinking game if you had to drink everytime you found something wrong. Of course everyone would be drunk in a half hour.

B)

Billy Flynt

Blackbeard's Crew

Master of Events

"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. " - Mark Twain

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shame they didn't post a disclaimer before the film;

this is a fictional account and any similairity between these characters and actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental

or an apology at the end ....or better yet every half hour or so ....i regret having sent for the dvd about 2 weeks ago

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i regret having sent for the dvd about 2 weeks ago

Ouch! B) Poor Callenish! You could always gift it to someone! B)

Yeah, I was tempted to do the same thing, but never got around to it. Well, I guess not every movie can be Master & Commander or Pirates of the Caribbean...ye have to throw in some Cutthroat Islands and Hallmark Blackbeards to round it out I guess...Billy's idea isn't half bad either.

Sea Captain: Yar, that be handsome pete, he dances on the pier for nickels!

Sea Captain: Arrr... you gave him a quarter, he'll be dancin all day.

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I picked up a few of the flyers from the local Hallmark store, but not sure if it's even worth the Photobucket.com space to enable me in posting one here...

04de8cfe.jpg

"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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