DIVINE BACON

[William Brand]

I was recently involved in a discussion with a fellow pirate that spanned many subjects, when we suddenly turned to the sacred subject of Bacon. That holy and blessed meat of divine, savory goodness. The capstone in the pyramid of food groups. The crown jewel in the vault of salt meats. The ultimate additive. The sanctified condiment. A supernatural food wrought from the garbage of man by that most humble hog...which magically transmutes, transfigures and transports the cast off remnants and table scraps of our kitchen into a delicacy as precious to our waiting pallets as chocolate.

You can imagine my surprise when I discovered that this friend, with whom I have had discourse for several years, was in fact a bacon despiser! Not a penitent and humble partitioner of a faith which denies the fruit of the pig, but an actual free agent of denial. An individual free to choose Bacon, but denying the blessings thereof. A living, breathing omnivore as capable in reasoning as any self aware mammal I have ever met, choosing to live in a world filled with bacon...but eating none of it.

Words fail.

I find myself at a crossroads. For many years now I have served as the host and master of ceremonies at an annual event so singular in purpose that my very connection to this Bacon unbeliever jeopardizes the tenets of my faith in food and my standing among my Bacon worshipping friends. For thirteen glorious years we have gathered to celebrate that most blessed barnyard animal...the pig.

I'm shaken. I had no idea that revilers of Bacon existed in the world. How will I sleep at night? I suppose my only solace will be found in the extra portions of that savory and vital victual.

Of course...I'm kidding. I know some people don't like Bacon or choose not to eat Bacon. It is just a matter of taste or religion. Which begs the question...

...Who likes Bacon?

[Black Syren]

*Glares at William* And here I thought my confidences were secret.

You should have rounded it off though by insisting this "Friend" Also does not eat any meat on a bone or with fat or gristle.

This "friend' may sound weird but is a true "friend" And will most certainly back up her friends with all she has till her dying breath. Wethere this "friend' partakes of bacon or not. I did hear she likes Sausage though. *grins*

[William Brand]

*Glares at William* And here I thought my confidences were secret.

You should have rounded it off though by insisting this "Friend" Also does not eat any meat on a bone or with fat or gristle.

This "friend' may sound weird but is a true "friend" And will most certainly back up her friends with all she has till her dying breath. Wethere this "friend' partakes of bacon or not. I did hear she likes Sausage though. *grins*

Well...they were a secret until you posted.

[Black Syren]

Oh should I not have mentioned that? *blinks innocently*

[William Brand]

Oh should I not have mentioned that? *blinks innocently*

That's up to you...heretic.

lol.

[Christine]

I prefer sausage, sorry.....lol!

[William Brand]

I prefer sausage, sorry.....lol!

No, no, no. You're a pirate. You don't apologize.

I think you meant to say..."Vile Bacon! Meat was meant to be ground, like my enemies underfoot! Sausage! Sausage or death!"

Better, no?

[LongTom]

Bacon is a gateway meat. Before long you'll have graduated to far viler, forbidden proteins -- and bacon will have been the enabler. Why do you think they call the hard stuff "Long Pig"?

Consider yourself warned.

[Patrick Hand]

"Long Pig"?

I've always heard it called long pork........

Just be sure to cook it well, and other than a few moral problems.......

Bacons great stuff...... I can eat as much of it as anyone wants to cook....

AND all the uses for bacon fat..... why it boggles the mind.......

[Christine]

I prefer sausage, sorry.....lol!

No, no, no. You're a pirate. You don't apologize.

I think you meant to say..."Vile Bacon! Meat was meant to be ground, like my enemies underfoot! Sausage! Sausage or death!"

Better, no?

LOL! Sure, sounds great Wil-lol!

[LongTom]

You should have rounded it off though by insisting this "Friend" Also does not eat any meat on a bone or with fat or gristle.

The bone is just the handle. Think of it like a Popsicle. A hot, juicy, salty Popsicle. ... okay, uh ... bad metaphor.

I did hear she likes Sausage though.  *grins*

Hmmm. Can't abide bones or gristle, but does not mind intestines? (Should I not have mentioned that sausage casing is intestines?)

[Captain Bob]

Despite having been born in California, I am descended from a long line of southerners. For those of you who are not steeped in southern tradition, allow me to explain. To a traditional southerner, pig meat is the staff of life, a food group unto itself, the nectar of the gods, the ne plus ultra of comestibles. It is a reason to go on living, the essence of life itself. I myself am quite fond of most forms of pork. If deprived for any length of time, I would not hesitate to bite a live pig in the butt, just to get a taste of ham.

~~Cap'n Bob

_________________

"Pork don't have a future. Bacon is not a career!"

--Gallagher

[Christine]

If deprived for any length of time, I would not hesitate to bite a live pig in the butt, just to get a taste of ham.

I laughed so hard at that, what a funny damn image you have created-LOL!!!!

[LongTom]

Well, I, for one, am never, ever, going to stand in front of Captain Bob in the chow line. Ya just never know when something is gonna snap.

[Caraccioli]

Ah. The quality of the topics in Beyond is finally improving.

I'm a vegetarian so I don't eat bacon. I used to eat it - I must say I liked it better than sausage, but not as much as corned beef. So that would have been my thoughts 7 years ago.

[Black Syren]

*Gasps huffily* So not a heretic, I think I may have to cross blades with ye Will! *grins then laughs*

As for A bony juicy salty popsickle---If my teeth touch a bone Im outta there, no cannabilism for me! *Wait that so did not sound right*

And yes I know tis intestine but I like boudain too! Just don't tell me what it is afore I eat it. As for Bacon I just do not like the taste of it, and it's alwas limp. I like it crunchy just like my frenchfries, If it's limp I won't eat it.

[William Brand]

As for Bacon I just do not like the taste of it, and it's alwas limp. I like it crunchy just like my frenchfries, If it's limp I won't eat it.

Well...

...cook it longer.

[Capt. Lazarus Gage]

Did someone say bacon??? Bacon is by far one of the greatest achievments of pigdom. Chewy, fatty, salty, smokey, and you can save the grease (as I do) and use it for flavoring vegetables, frying eggs, or pouring over you breakfast cereal. Bacon is truly one of the great foods of all time.

[William Brand]

Did someone say bacon??? Bacon is by far one of the greatest achievments of pigdom. Chewy, fatty, salty, smokey, and you can save the grease (as I do) and use it for flavoring vegetables, frying eggs, or pouring over you breakfast cereal. Bacon is truly one of the great foods of all time.

Spoken like a true cook.

If you lived any closer I'd invite you to Baconfest 14.

[Capt. Lazarus Gage]

I purchased some of my favorite bacon last night (Boar's Head) and along with the peasant bread and hierloom tomatoes my evening is booked.

[William Brand]

My wife made a bacon pie a few years back for Baconfest. It was loaded with lard, butter, cream and bacon. I can't believe any of us are still walking.

[Black Syren]

Poured the grease over your breakfast cereal???? Bacon Pie? Never heard of the critter but I don know a pig i'd like to gullet.

[Capt. Lazarus Gage]

Yes...I must have this thing you call "BACON PIE". So shall it be written, so shall it be done!

[William Brand]

Tracy was able to take these two recipes, and with only minor changes, make a very fine pie. I believe that she also used cream cheese, but it has been too many years since she made it to be sure.

Cookielike Pie Crust

2 cups flour

¼ cup sugar

1 tsp. salt

¾ cup chilled lard

2 tbsp. cold butter

1 egg

¼ cup milk

Whisk together flour, sugar and salt in medium bowl. Add lard and butter in chunks. With a pastry blender, cut fats into flour until bits are about the size

of peas.

Beat egg and milk together. Drizzle over flour mixture, tossing with fork. Gather into a ball and knead briefly with hands. Wrap and chill for at least 30 minutes.

Divide dough in half. On a well-floured board, roll one portion of the dough into a 12-inch circle. Ease into a 9-inch pie pan. For an unbaked shell, crimp edges and prick dough all over at 1-inch intervals. Repeat with remaining dough. Bake at 450 degrees for about 20 minutes, until the centers begin to brown. Cool completely before filling. Makes 2 pie shells or 1 double-crust pie.

Bacon Quiche

1 lb cooked bacon

1/4 cup minced onion

2 eggs, beaten

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup heavy cream

6 ounces Cheddar cheese, grated

salt and pepper

Cook Bacon and set aside to cool. Saute onions same frying pan while bacon is cooling (or if you microwaved the bacon, fry onions in the bacon grease). Crumble cooled bacon and set aside. Mix eggs, cheese, mayonnaise, cream, water, salt and pepper. Add in the onions and the bacon and pour into pie crust. Bake at 350F 40 to 45 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes. Can be frozen and reheated in individual portions if desired.

[Capt. Bo of the WTF co.]

I was gonna say sumpthin' but my drool won't stop!