Sea Wolf from Vinland

[SeaWolf_Bjärn]

How is it viking vs. pirate when the name means the same?

Now, if we were to say, 8th century norseman vs. stereotypical pirate, then it would be a legitimate opposition.

Aye jag här heard of Running Wild. Land of Ice is particularly catchy!

*Looks at gun in emoticon and wonders how one would use such a peculiar machine when a perfectly good iron brand is at hand*

Ah, what fine looking women we have here!

[Mimi Foxmorton]

...Foxmorton sighs.....

"Aye, 'ere we goes another round wit' the "stereotypical pirate"

blunder..." she thinks t' 'erself....

....a waste o' good, fine locks o' hair on this grande, drinkin' day....

"Better luck next time..." she muses.....

Downing 'er grog in a fast, steady gulp...... she belches loudly.......

Crossing her arms.......

she turns to face th' door......

....and, waits........

[SeaWolf_Bjärn]

That is why I said...this is between pirates and vikings...not stereotypes!

Mjölnir striketh thee!

[Maggie Pricklebottom]

"Downing 'er grog in a fast, steady gulp...... she belches loudly......."

Mimi, this not be a Murkland pub is it? Ifin' t'is, I need to be running with scissors and pokin' me eye out. 2 turns 'o the clock is more enuf of Murk bairns.

Twas always me belief that vikings be pirates afore pirates even be pirates. And they be wearin' helmets with horns too! Wagner liked 'em too.

Mags

[oderlesseye]

And they be wearin' helmets with horns too!

Nay- Vikings not ware horns historically !~ That 's Hollywood and folklore madam!

[Maggie Pricklebottom]

I be excusin' meself....the horns came afore the vikings. But I would garner at some point some drunk viking wore horns around the house, and since he was drunk, maybe little else. I a seen people narry so drunk wearin' horns around the house, and that was just last midsummer.

Sorry to be a rufflin' your feathers, maychance I need a double now. Who be hidin' the Stoli?

Mags

[SeaWolf_Bjärn]

The only viking wearing horns is the one from the Capital One commercials!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/Rai...ing_capitol.jpg

They are more along the lines of this variety:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/Rai...Sweolandman.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/Rai...nd_mercenar.jpg

[Mimi Foxmorton]

....Foxmorton deflects Mjolnir wit' a swift strike o' her cutlass an' reminds Thor wit' the tip o' her sword that a gentleman ne'er strikes a lady less he's a desire t' be carryin' his cannon balls back t' his ship in a fancy basket.....

....Before orderin' another drink....Foxmorton cuts and pastes the third renderin' offered by Bjarn....

for personal use....

just in case.....

"Bloody long hairs...." Foxmorton thinks to 'erself......

[Mimi Foxmorton]

...too late, it comes to Foxmorton's note that her act of self defense has sent the Viking's wee small hammer corkscrewing through the Pub and, out the door...which, ordinarily would have been a right good thing had Capt'n Bismuth not chosen that exact moment to extricate himself from the bin....hook crawl to the door led by the smell of mango jello and free wet wipes.....and, coincidentially, hauling himself upright in the doorway just as the Viking's ineffective weapon spiraled through....having picked up top speed by dinging off the double-horned furry hat of an innocent patron trying to pay Ray with a thin strip of plastic covered in strange numbers.

Foxmorton cringes at the "squelch" that follows as the wee hammer lodges firmly in Capt'n Bismuth's left eye socket.

In a rare moment of compassion....Foxmorton rises....swaggers to the door.....and, hoping to distract Capt'n Bismuth with the Classic... Though Historically Inaccurate -Pirate Fake-Out Cry..."LOOK OVER THERE!".....yanks the hammer from his eye socket and, tosses it in the bin.

"Ye'll be needin' a new eye patch, Mate" says Foxmorton as she plugs the offending hole with a free wet wipe and, a peanut shell left over from Happy Hour.

Having had more'n enough excitement for one evenin' Foxmorton grabs Capt'n Bismuth a second before he blindly mistakes the innocent patron's headgear for a tuba....and, secures his right hook onto her belt.....thus giving Catt'n Bismuth easier transport to the jello and, lessening the chances of further incident.

Stiff-legging it to the bar with the extra weight Foxmorton hauls Capt'n Bismuth into her lap....calls to Ray for a stiff rum...and a sippy cup of mango juice for her new friend.......

[SeaWolf_Bjärn]

Bjärn looks over and watches Foxmorton absentmindedly as she commits her piratey deeds!

'I like the cut of this woman' he says to himself. "She reminds me of the women back on my homeshores!"

[Mimi Foxmorton]

"Absent mind" Foxmorton thinks be the operative phrase here as she hoists Capt'n Bismuth o'er her shoulder....an' heads t' the privy....

Capt'n Bismuth makes a last ditch effort t' grab fer his sippy cup realizin' only too late that Foxmorton were a wee bit in 'er cups....as she cut the corner rather sharply....

dingin' Bismuth's forehead square upon the beam.....

[Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge]

As Lady Foxmorton carries Captain Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge into the lavatory, the pirate rubs his forehead with his hook and shouts, "I'll be back, mateys!"

An orchestra starts up, playing typical swashbuckling music as the doors to the water closet close.

[Capt'n Floria]

Floria hears the name sea wolf and grins. "That be an interesting name ye' be having." Tail flicks and she grins

[Mimi Foxmorton]

....emerging from the privy.....Capt'n Bismuth, hair dripping wet and, with the odd piece of toilet paper dangling from his left earring.... gives an annoyed Foxmorton an inncocent look as he declares......"I TOLD ye that were me hook......."

[SeaWolf_Bjärn]

Seawolf is the name given to us by those who have been unfortunate to cross our paths...or be plundered and pillaged by us as the case is.

[Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge]

Wondering where he got the earrings, Captain Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge grabs a handfull of temporary tattoos and turns to his personal orchestra, giving them a nod. Stuffing the tattoos secretly into the pocket of his red peacoat, he tosses the garment aside and exchanges it for a leapord-print lounge jacket. A double bass player from the orchestra begins strumming strings, and the pianist enters in measures later, playing softly. Then, a side of the captain yet not seen emerges! He whistles the beginning of "Mr. Bojangles", and then sweeps the pub off its foundations with such sweet vocal talent not expected of a pirate. Yeah, he sang that good. Having finished his number, the pub erupts into a clamour! Patrons throw coins of all makes and countries onto the floor in front of the captain. However, the good captain's singing career would soon be over as an unidentified drunkard throws one of those large, stone wheels that they use for currency in Indonesia or whatever at Captain Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge's throat.

[Black Syren]

Leans against the doorframe watching all within then slips in warily. "Welcome to the Pub Bjarn and I do hope you enjoy your stay. *wicked smile* As for me drink tis the same as always..A Plunder Me Cherry extra cherries of course..

[Patrick Hand]

Welcome ter th' Pub....

The only problem that I can see wit a Viking/Pyrate..... you gotta wait bout nother 1500 years untill rum be period......

[Capt'n Floria]

heh. gives me an idea fer a picture!

Floria notices everyone crowding round someone. Flicking her tail, she sneaks over and trys to see who it is. Being small, this little trick means jumping above everybodies shoulders.

"Eeeeee..welcome to this 'ere pub!

Curling up, she purrs while trying not to snigger at the Captain with the leopard-print top. Pointed teeth show in a snigger before she curls up on the newcomers ankles

cheers mateys!

[Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge]

Arr, a cat a pirate? Why, in me own day, man nor boy woulda heard o' such a thing! But now that we've exchanged pleasantries and me singin' career be over, I'm a-gonna make like a baby and head on out. Cheers, mateys.

Captain Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge downs one more Jell-O cup and vibrates out the door. As he leaves, a random pirate waves and turns to Seawolf Bjärn, "I never did get his name, but he sure cleaned up this town."

Befuddled, Bjärn makes his response, "You–you're kidding me, right? He said it, like, six times."

[Maggie Pricklebottom]

Mags, seeing Bismuth leave, wanders over and picks up the coins that had been tossed at him, ceptin' for that giant Indonesian stone, which she rolls over to the corner for later use as a table. She will miss the salty little man....he DID sing a good rendition of Mr. Bojangles.

She then walks over and sits at a table next to Mimi...who proudly proclaims to the room, ..."Let's see how far that pirate gets without THESE!" as she pulls a pegleg and two hooks from underneath the folds of her skirts.

[Mimi Foxmorton]

...tryin' t' maintain 'er composure.....Foxmorton stows the peg leg & two hooks under the table.....gazes at the door an' whispers......

"come back soon, Puddin'........)

Turnin' t' Mags....Foxmorton asks......"Those were his EARS.....right.....?"

Mags shrugs.

"You buyin', Pricklebottom?" asks Foxmorton

"Don't I always?" replies Mags.

[SeaWolf_Bjärn]

"Ah, mead is good enough for me. It can lend great eloquence to a sea-plunderer's tongue or make a fool of him in a second flat!

Mike seems the name of a nasty raider no?" Bjärn says to the random pirate.

"Now, lets get drunk and wassail!" Bjärn raises his horn and hails a toast to pirates and sea-raiders all around. "My mouth is watering for a good plunder..its been a while."

[Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge]

Captain Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge quickly peeks back into the pub, quite limbful now that his pegs and hooks have been plundered (Don't ask; I either have hands or hooks, or occasionally one bionic hand. Same with the legs.).

"Arr, I jest be wantin' t'be commentin' on the innuendo b'fore I be settin' sail. An' that be that Bjärn's mouth be waterin' fer a good plunder... Arr."

The captain hangs in the doorway for a minute longer. Bad idea. A dead Japanese rockstar swings on a rope right at the good captain. The feisty freebooter is knocked out of the pub and a crash is audible as he hits a piles of naval grade barrels in the alleyway.

[Capt'n Floria]

Floria chuckled. "Aye,a cat a pirate." Eyeing all the drinks, she returned to the relegation cat bowl. She then turns slightly and watches the Capt'n get kicked out. Pointed teeth showed in a wince before she wrapped 'erself round the vikings ankles again