Christmas; why I frigging hate it

[Fox]

Don't get me wrong, I've misled you into reading this. Sorry about that. I like Christmas... bits of it. I like spending time with people I care about, I like seeing other people happy, I like the feeling that just for once my failings are overlooked by those that surround me. I LOVE the smell of christmas trees (ecologically friendly ones from sustainable forests), I love putting up decorations (on Christmas Eve, not November). I love the atmosphere of naughtiness that pervades Christmas parties when everyone's drunk too much of my jelly-baby vodka or butterscotch rum. But why should we only feel that good for one day a year? If we're capable of living so happily then why don't we do it all year? And why - why, oh why - do I have to put up with all the other crap that drives me round the freakin' bend?

In October?: OK, so it's good to be prepared, I know people who keep an eye open for Christmas gifts in August. But they do it with subtelty. Why, when I walk into a shop to buy a pint of milk two days before Guy Fawkes night (November 5th for you colonials) do I get bombarded with "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"? Not for another 7 weeks he ain't! But that's not the worst of it: in October, before Halloween even, the staff at my local supermarket were wearing Santa hats. Christmas is a twelve day holiday (I wonder how many people really know that any more), and it starts on December 25th. How long do we really need to prepare for it? Not two months, and certainly not more. I like Christmas, but I like it at Christmas time.

Families and "Friends": We've all got them, to some we ARE them. Family members you don't like, or friends of friends you can't stand. At a preliminary calculation I reckon I will have to see at least 12 people over the next couple of weeks that I can't stand and that I'm pretty sure don't like me. I don't mind that they don't like me, it makes me feel better about not liking them. But I'm going to have to see them, and they are going to have to see me. Neither of us will enjoy the experience and the only way in which the "Good Will" of the season will encroach on the meeting will be in the exchange of presents: in some cases it will be a competition as to who bought the largest present (apparently this proves that we don't dislike the person we loath a bit more than they don't dislike us, and alledgedly that's a good thing); in other cases it will be a matter of "Hah! I got away with spending less money on you than you did on me - fool!" Wouldn't the season of friendship go much better if we didn't have to see the people we hate and pretend we like them? It doesn't inspire me to like them any more, it just reminds me of the reasons why I don't.

Cards: 90% of the people we give cards to at Christmas we could just say "Happy Christmas" to in person, which would a: be cheaper, b: be better for the environment, and c: be nicer anyway. I hate to think how many acres of trees are cut down every year for greetings cards that we usually deliver by hand anyway. OK, so it's nice to exchange cards with friends and family too far away to contact personally, but how many do we post rather than hand over? I'm proud to say that I haven't given any Christmas cards for about ten years, but I always make the effort to either see or phone old friends.

Presents: I don't want 'em. Every year I say to people "There's nothing I really want, if I think of anything I'll let you know, but otherwise don't bother getting me anything", and every year I mean it, truly I do. If there is something I want then I'll ask for it, or I'll buy it myself. If I don't already own it and don't ask for it then the chances are it's because I don't want it. Every year people fail to heed me and spend a load of money they can't afford on a load of crap I really don't want. Then I have to find somewhere to put it all in my already overcrowded abode. Presents ruin my Christmas. I open them, and I feel sad that people I love have nearly bankrupted themselves to buy me presents (ok, and others too, but you get the point) that I really don't want or need. Then I start to feel like sh*t for being so ungrateful when all they were trying to do was make me happy. Then I feel angry because the whole thing could have been avoided if only they'd listened to me in the first place. By lunch time my Christmas is ruined, and my bad mood is on the way to ruining everyone else's.

I'll give you an example - my mum is the worst by far. One year I asked for the Lego Star Wars Speeder Bikes (I was about 21, moved out of home etc.). That was all I wanted, and they cost about £7-8. Christmas morning I opened my pile of presents from my mum - all Lego, about £50-60 worth. No Speeder Bikes. I'm not ungrateful, really I'm not, but my mum could have saved herself a load of money and I still didn't get the one thing I'd asked for.

Now and again someone really comes up trumps and gets a surprise present which I love, but I'd give up that occasional good present like a shot if it would mean people not buying me presents unless I'd specifically asked them to.

Incidentally, this is the reason I hate my birthday too. :)

Bollocks Culture: I will accept that "Xmas" has become a sloppy but recognised way of writing "Christmas" in a hurry, but when and why did it start being pronounced "Exmas"? Who the hell is Kris Kringle? Why is a deformed reindeer character from a second rate song as important to Christmas as his overweight commercialized master? Does anyone actually remember the story of Saint Nicholas (that's Santa Klaus for those of you who only speak German)? Or that other story about a kid and three wise men with about as much idea on suitable Christmas presents as my mum?

Eating: My mum, my girlfriend, most women I know in fact, go on a diet at some point. A huge number of women, and a smaller number of men, go on diets either just after or just before Christmas. Why don't we just eat a normal amount instead? Or maybe we could just eat ourselves into obesity on Christmas Day itself? No, apparently what we have to do is buy enough food to feed three starving families and gorge ourselves silly for a fortnight. Then we feel overweight and starve ourselves in order to feel better. Many shops specially open 24hrs in the run up to Christmas. Are there suddenly more people around at Christmas, or do we just need to eat significantly more to see us through the cold mid-winter?

Let's not forget that Christmas is a holiday. It's a holiday where we get up early in order to spend several hours in the kitchen cooking food for a bunch of people whom we'd probably rather not see anyway. Then, when they've eaten their fill of the potatoes we spent hours peeling we spend another couple of hours washing up the dirty plates they've left. I must confess to being a potato-eating dirty-plate leaver at Christmas rather than one of the cooks, but I do always feel sorry for them...

The Cost: I touched on this in "Presents". Everyone I know says every year "I don't know how I afforded Christmas". The answer is that they didn't. According to myfinances.co.uk 21% of people in the UK put Christmas on their credit card, that's one day that they pay for all year. 63% of people pay for Christmas out of their savings - but hey, fixing their car, repairing their roof, or helping their kids through university is probably less important than Christmas in the long run.

£6.2billion will probably be spent in Britain on stocking fillers this year, and burglars are expected to get away with £3.5million worth of presents! The average Christmas spending per person in the UK in 2000 was £589, and there are 56 million of us give or take a few. That's about £34.982billion spent on Christmas. That means that if we cancelled Christmas for one year and gave the money to charity instead it would be possible to give every single person sleeping rough on UK streets their own home and a fistful of cash, free of charge - and still have £34.966billion left over to spend on other worthy causes at home and abroad. To put that in perspective, the UK government spent £35billion on education and health combined in 2005.

And when we see people collecting for charity at Christmas we put a quid in their tin - it IS the season of sharing and good will after all!

The happiest time of the year, when suicide rates are at their highest.

Merry bloody Christmas.

[Patrick Hand]

when suicide rates are at their highest.

Thats because everyone thinks they are sopose to have a Norman Rockwell kinda Christmass........

There are some parts that I like about "The Season"..... but you covered most of the ones that I don't like.....

My biggest "peeve".... We ship out the customers orders, but because it's "the Holidays", they kinda forget to send out the payment for it untill the begining of next year......I hope they had a nice Christmass, because I've gotten use to getting by on very little cash....

[Caraccioli]

You kill me, Ed. I wish I had that emoticon that Rumba uses that laughs and pounds its hand until it falls over.

I completely agree with you about Christmas cards. Just tonight I politely asked the female half of a pair of good friends, who was dutifully going upstairs to send out 10 more cards (she does ten a night), not to send me one. To her credit, she gracefully agreed not to do so. I can't stand the things and I refuse to respond in kind. (You do that and the things proliferate.)

Also, if I may add one, if someone simply must get me a Christmas gift, feel free to buy it used off eBay or Craig's List and pay a whole lot less for it. Unless it's something like those Cheeses of the World. (Saving yourself $10 will mean more to me than the cellophane on a DVD that you think I'd like.)

[Capt Grey]

What I find most ironic about this time of year is the attitude of shoppers: stressed-out, angry, mean to others, willing to physically fight for that last parking spot at the mall.

It's supposed to be the season of good cheer and kindness to others. AND, if you're really good, you keep those feelings in your heart all through the year - not just at a comercially designated time of the season.

Happy Holidays everyone!

[hitman]

A few thoughts here,

1 Valid points all but since this is the season of good cheer why not overlook them.

2 Christmas cards are handy if you have a ton of people to buy for and not much money. It may be simply a thing with me as I have a large faimly and many friends I consider faimly. (BTW this seems to be more common in rural and urban areas as opposed to Suburbs. At least to the degree with witch the conviction is held. Off topic I know but intresting)

3 If you spread the buying out over the entire year ( I pick up stocking stuffers and Jewelry when ever I find em cheap and through em in a big box in the spare room also saves my arse when I forget birthday's and such) It doesn't seem to hurt so d__n much.

4 Kick back enjoy yourself and rember the stuff you dont won't and isn't flamable can go on ebay or to goodwill in a hurry on Dec. 26

[Christine]

What do you when you don't really have a lot of money and yer employees want to do a gift exchange? It's bad enough I already got pulled into the big employee gift exchange with all departments. Now, just my receptionist department wants to have a small one. I still have yet to get anything for my family. Ugh!

[Rumba Rue]

I don't hate the Holidays, I enjoy them, but I agree, I was rather disgusted when I saw Christmas stuff before Halloween!

I send out Holiday cards because it's a way for me to say 'hi' in a more personal way. I'm not usually one for computer generated cards sent by emails.

As for buying gifts for people, I've become more orientated with knowing what the people I do buy for want or like.

I no longer buy separate gifts for couples, now they get 1 gift that will suit the both of them. A lot of people have come to expect t-shirts from me with funny sayings. Gawd I love the catalogs I get, my favorites are Wireless, Pyramid Collections, Gael Song, What on Earth.

I also buy during the year when I might have a little extra cash and there might be a sale on something not too expensive.

I also do not buy expensive things or stuff that just sits on a shelf and looks pretty. It's always something that can be used.

I also have the satisfaction that I make a lot of things, so I can always whip something up or check through what I have before spending money.

If all else fails, a gift card to a store is the best bet. For many years, my family has given me gift certificates to grocery stores. It's wonderful!

Otherwise they just write me a small check to spend as I wish.

This year however, I did spend a fair amount of money on my companion, I got him two books from our dear King's Pyrate here, that he gracefully signed. I found a fantastic leather embossed ship on an oval box made in Russia. He's also getting one other thing, the real expensive thing that at this time I am not saying what. But thank goodness I got a nice Hannukah check from my dad to cover what I spent. Whew!

Sometimes I just wish this holiday was like in August.....

[Dread Mach Brannigan]

What do you when you don't really have a lot of money and yer employees want to do a gift exchange? It's bad enough I already got pulled into the big employee gift exchange with all departments. Now, just my receptionist department wants to have a small one. I still have yet to get anything for my family. Ugh!

I wuz in de same boat the last 2 years. What I did for the office party thing wuz, I compiled some good christmas songs and burned Christmas CD's on my computer and handed them out at the party. Didn't cost anything but the blank CD's and went over real well with everyone.

[Hawkyns]

BRAVO!!!! Bloody well said, Foxe.

I don't care if it's Christmas, Solstice, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or Winterfest. It has gone so far overboard that we spend two months getting ready for a one day holiday that we'll spend 2 months recovering from and another 4 months paying for. What the bloody hell is the use?

Hawkyns

(yeah, I OD'd on christmas years ago.)

[Diego Santana de la Vega]

Christmas is (IS) all year it's in your heart where the season comes from. Giving is a lifetime event some deal with it and some don't the some dont's are trolls. Trolls take for a lifetime never understanding the gift of giving. I love to give and do, all to my friends I can, anything and everything I have. Trolls can have a ten pound bucket of sand. Tis the season to be jolly!

(but I still would like to have a turret mounted laser on my roof to wipe out the damn lane moniter drivers from in the lane in front of me)

[Dread Mach Brannigan]

I'm wiv ya on dat Diego! I do like de Christmas tyme an all, but I wuz out stringin' me lights all weekend...jest where did de fun go in that? Seemed more like flippin' werk, but dey look might fine once they all lit up. Need ta find some Pyrate lights fer de holiday.

[Black Hearted Pearl]

We need a poll. Women vs Men. Who loves and hates Christmas. I think we will find that Women hate Christmas more than Men. Or at least that is they way it is at our house. :) Why? Because I'm the one doing of the frickin work while me mate sits on his arse asking "when's dinner?"

[Captain Jacob Badger]

Nice one Ed.....Bah humbug

[Rummy3]

I love Christmas.

More than anything, I think the memories are what make me feel so good. I live witha girlfriend, and granted, I don't have a single decoration - no tree, no wreath on the door, no carols playing either. There have been many years that my Christmases were just a huge hassle when I was married, but with my family it has always been constant. Lately, I have been taking my folks shopping in the evenings and it is so much fun. They are both in their 80's and need a little help walking around and finding what they have in mind for the all their kids and grandkids. My mom still decorates the house and I treasure all the ornaments that have been carried down through generations and hang so beautifully on her tree. Christmas is one of probably two days a year that I see my brother. I treasure visiting with him. There's nothing that can replace how special this day is. I stress inside knowing that any time now will be the last Christmas as I have known it all my life, but truly there is nothing better.

[Dread Mach Brannigan]

Well said Rummy3. Not 1 decoration? Does yer room-mate not celebrate the holiday in any form?

E're ye go lass

wiv plenty'o presents ta boot

[Rummy3]

Gramercy lad.

[The Doctor]

Rummy, love, your story is touching and bittersweet. While there's naught I can do to change your circumstances, I'll not sit by when I know there's a way to ameliorate your situation somewhat. Plainly put, go to this link, and decorate a house to your heart's delight!

We'll be wanting screenshots, dear! Enjoy! :)

[Longarm]

(Steping up on brightly decorated soap box, clears throat with swig of rum and begins.)

This will be a very long rant.Ffeel free to pass thru without reading it. I feel I have no choice but to do it here so as not to hurt the feelings of the people I truely love who may misunderstand whatever it is I'm trying to say. (More rum)

One of the biggest problems with christmas is the insincerity and hypocrisy that comes with it. This has been covered earlier, the feelin obligated to spend quality time with family and people we spend most of the year avoiding or hanging out with because we have little or nothing tin common. These times are always tense and uncomfortable for all involved. The conversations are awkward and shallow because everyone is trying to avoid upseting someone else or talking about a touchy subject that caused the strain in the first place. Greetings and wellwishes become hollow and meaningless.

Don't get me wrong, not everyone has this. RumbaRue and Rummy are sincere when they talk about their feelings towards christmas and for that I envy them. Buying presents or receiving them shouldn't be a chore and something that should be dreaded but, to often it becomes just that. Buying something should come from the heart, because you really wish to show your affection and appreciation for someone not, because a time of year or retailer tells you to.

(Takes another swig from bottle. Ranting is dry work!)

I don't think I'm the only one and maybe some of you have the same problem but, as I got older my pesents have been mainly socks, underwear and at least one butt-ugly shirt or sweater that if you possibly knew me, would know that there is noway I would ever get this for myself. I know I shouldn't complain and I should be glad I'm getting anything at all. I really do like getting presents don't get me wrong, I really do. But, when the reason for giving me socks, underwear and butt-ugly shirts and sweaters is "Because we don't know what you like." or "Your hard to buy for." come on! Don't know what I like. Hello! I had a pirate wedding, I have swords hanging on my wall, I have a bookcase full of books on piracey, sailing ships and history. I have a small collection of games, puzzles and toys (Playmobil has great pirate stuff.) based on piracey. It's not a demand for pirate related gifts just a good start on figuring out what I might like. Socks, underwear, and butt-ugly shirts and sweaters kinda feel like a cop out to me and the only reason you bought them for me is because you felt obligated to get me something. If you were sincere in your gift of socks underwear and butt-ugly shirts and sweaters, I apologise for sounding ungrateful.

(More rum, checks level of bottle to see how much longer rant can go on.)

AS others have said christmas has become more work than fun. Why is it when someone else decides it's time to put up the tree and decorate I get "You do it!" or "When are you going to do it?" Because I don't want to? When the reasons for someone else are "I don't like climbing up an down the ladder." and "Stringing the lights are hard." and "Setting up the tree in the stand and getting it straight is to difficult." and the ever popular "Don't have time." How may I ask does this now become My responsebility? If you do decide to do something and it doesn't come out the way you think it should don't tell me to "FIX IT!". Christmas should be fun for everyone not work for a few. If you don't like spending the holiday in the kitchen cooking and cleaning up DON"T. Just because custom dictates that is they way it should be doesn't mean thats the way it is. IF you really don't enjoy it don't punish yourself or feel quilty about find some other way to handle situation so that you can enjoy the holidays too, you deserve it as much as anyone else.

(Checking the bottle after another long pull decides to wrap it up, to the great relief of the listeners.)

For my last main reason I think christmas blows, all the polictly correct crap that comes with it now adays. Is it a christmas tree or a holiday tree? Should schoolkids be allowed to sing Silent Night or because of the religious overtones only be allowed to sing Jingle Bell's? I don't know if Foxe has the same thing where he is but here in the good Ol'USofA there are chuches canceling services because christmas falls on a sunday this year. When asked why? one of the answers was (and get this) because people want and should spend christmas with their families. What is that all about? The one day that validates their very existance and their shutting down. When they spend the rest of the year promoting family values and togetherness to the point of overkill, especially in politics, their not holding serviceses because of christmas. When Santa Clause and presents take away from the Christ child and the whole reason for celebration we close church. COME ON, that is just to wrong!

Well I've said my peace. (Drains the last of the bottle, and to the thunderous applause of those wishing he would shut-up, steps down from his brightly decorated soap box, making very sure he grinds the bow under his boot as he does so)

[Swifty Morgan]

I like Christmas Tis the season for sharing and celebrating.

Swifty

[Longarm]

(Stumbles back on soap box, removes hat placing over heart, bows and begins to sing.)

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,

Go stuff it up your branches!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,

Go stuff it up your branches!

I knows it's right,

You know it's true.

You don't like me,

I don't like you!

So Christmas tree, Oh Christmas Tree.

Go stuff it up your branches!

(Bows, returns hat to head, stumbles off of soap box in search of more drink.)

[Bonnie Red Weasel]

I love Christmas, but not really the holiday you all seem to be discussing.

Anyhow, does anybody want to come over and help me assemble this damned Christmas tree?

[Longarm]

I love Christmas, but not really the holiday you all seem to be discussing. 

Anyhow, does anybody want to come over and help me assemble this damned Christmas tree?

Best to throw it on the fire lass and drink to it's health. Ye'll get more pleasure and warmth from it that way.

[Rumba Rue]

Most of the guys I know hate the holidays for the very reasons Longarm and Foxe have stated. There's a few women in there too.

But there's the other side of the coin and that is those of us who choose to remember how well we like certian people and sometimes a card is just a reminder one hasn't been forgotten over time.

Personally I don't really care about Christmas, especially since it's just a number in a long line of 'stealing' from the 'pagans' to make it passible to those who revere Christ.

However since I chose to live with someone who does do the Christen thing, I respect his belief. So the lights go up and so does the decor.

And right, it's not about the gift buying, but it is about giving of one's self to a higher power to belive in something. Giving a present as token to a loved one is special. Though some people go completely overboard and buy huge amounts of gifts for family and cousins, aunts, uncles, and one year old cousin Tommy in another state.

However, being Pagan, I celebrate Yule on December 21 as 'my holiday' to spend with the 'Old Ones'. I will probably open the goodies my pen-pal in Canada sent me, since she's Wicca too.

For me, it's the last month of the year. One to think upon what has happened during the year, good and bad. To think about how I can make a difference in my life for the coming year. To carve out a new direction and a new Path are on my plate for next year.

BRING ME THAT HORIZON!

[Patrick Hand]

does anybody want to come over and help me assemble this damned Christmas tree?

Went over to my bosses fer Sunday Bloody Mary's, and got shanghied inter setting up th' tree..... (she has one of the fake pre-wired ones...) but most of the lights were not working.... so thar I be..... checking lights...... aaah th' Holidays....... (the Bloody Marys' did kinda make up fer it tho........ )

[Hawkyns]

I love Christmas, but not really the holiday you all seem to be discussing.

Anyhow, does anybody want to come over and help me assemble this damned Christmas tree?

I like the holiday season, too. Or at least I used to. As I said, I've OD'd on the presents, the work, the frantic running from family to family, the mall fights, and the stress.

I'd love to go back to an old fashioned yule, round my own fireplace with the people I care about and want to be there, and with small, even handcrafted presents. The only thing that gets you today is a name as a cheap, antisocial bastard. It's not enough to enjoy the holidya anymore, you have to be seen to enjoy it and make a splash about how well you and yours are doing.

I'll help ye with the tree. I actually prefer the fake ones anyway. Less mess and no reason to sacrifice a living tree for a temporary decoration.

Hawkyns