MadMike Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Just caught a portion of "Swashbuckler" on a cable channel. Had to be "one of the worst pirate movies I've ever seen"! The 1976 film stars James Earl Jones, Robert Shaw ("Jaws"), Peter Boyle as the evile gov'nuh, Beau Bridges (wearing what type uniform I have no clue), Genevieve Bujold, and Avery Schreiber. No doubt destined to be a classic, this film should be continuously shown (along with European Command AFN-TV commercials) to break the will of captured terrorists. Yours, &c. Mike Try these for starters- "A General History of the Pyrates" edited by Manuel Schonhorn, "Captured by Pirates" by John Richard Stephens, and "The Buccaneers of America" by Alexander Exquemelin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaRed Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Yeah I agree. I got it from Netflix awhile back, and couldn't get past the first 20 minutes. Robert Shaw's red jumpsuit thing was too annoying and distracting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Bess Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Just as an asides mates... You really, really ought to consider the possible nvolment of others on the board before you out and out bad mouth something. Perhaps... temper your hatred a mite until you know? I'm not by any means saying Swashbuckler is the worlds BEST Pirate movie, but lambasting it to that extent is a little hurtful and.... unfair? I have family in that film, up on the screen and I, for one, am very proud of the hard work done on it. It was made when no other Pirate film COULD get made on Robert Shaws and James Earl Jones names alone. In it's day it was really a success. (Shrug) THat is a simple fact. The worlds BEST Pirate movie? No way. The Worlds Worst?? It made more the three times it's money back. Stupid scrip? It was so-so but I've seen worse. Bad acting? At times Cheap sets? You BET! but hey... it was about PIRATES! (Shrug) All a matter of personal taste I grant you... Well, you may not realize it but your looking at the remains of what was once a very handsome woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMike Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 Bess, I didn't know you were related to Geoffrey Holder (Cudjo)! Yours, &c. Mike Try these for starters- "A General History of the Pyrates" edited by Manuel Schonhorn, "Captured by Pirates" by John Richard Stephens, and "The Buccaneers of America" by Alexander Exquemelin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Bess Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Bess, I didn't know you were related to Geoffrey Holder (Cudjo)! Yours, &c. Mike (Wry smile...) Oh I'm not m'lad..... I'm not Well, you may not realize it but your looking at the remains of what was once a very handsome woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Bess Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Oh, and Geoffrey by the way is still living in New york City and just presided over the wedding to some friends of mine. What a wonderous , educated and gentle man he is Gee, maybe it is all in the familiy. Well, you may not realize it but your looking at the remains of what was once a very handsome woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMike Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 On the other side of the coin, I did order "Cutthroat Island". Having participated in several documentaries, I can appreciate having to put up with a filmaker's nuances... of course, I don't think they appreciated being blown over by the flash and vent debris from a Charleville musket (I warned 'em!). Too bad that scene didn't make the final cut. Anyway Bess, your posts about POTC are much appreciated. Am trying to find a decent copy of "Treasure Island"- any suggestions? Yours, &c. Mike Try these for starters- "A General History of the Pyrates" edited by Manuel Schonhorn, "Captured by Pirates" by John Richard Stephens, and "The Buccaneers of America" by Alexander Exquemelin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Bess Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Am trying to find a decent copy of "Treasure Island"- any suggestions?Yours, &c. Mike Which one?? Well, you may not realize it but your looking at the remains of what was once a very handsome woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Jim-sib Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Victor Fleming's 1934 Treasure Island, with Wallace Berry as Longjohn Silver, is very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PirateQueen Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Am trying to find a decent copy of "Treasure Island"- any suggestions? I haven't seen it yet myself, but I hear the version with Charlton Heston is one of the best. Melusine de la Mer "Well behaved women rarely make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PirateQueen Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I didn't think Swashbuckler was all that bad. Not the best, but certainly not the worst I've ever seen. The movie that gets my vote for absolute worst pirate movie is "Blackbeard the Pirate", a 1952 flick starring Robert Newton as Blackbeard. Here's the synopsis: Reformed pirate Sir Henry Morgan (Torin Thatcher) is sent out to eliminate the extremely evil Blackbeard (Newton), while Morgan's adopted daughter (Linda Darnell), due to marry the captain of another ship, falls for Maynard (Keith Andes), a handsome young adventurer. Together, Maynard and Morgan's daughter discover the captain has been killed, and worse, that Morgan and Blackbeard are in a plot together. Morgan sent out to hunt down Blackbeard? Morgan was dead long before Blackbeard was ever on the scene. And then they plot together? *aaack* Melusine de la Mer "Well behaved women rarely make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaRed Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Bess, apologies if I stepped on your toes, it certainly was not my intent to offend all the Swashbuckler fans, cast and or crew out there. I just didn't care for the movie, that's all. Course there's no accounting for my tastes...after all I love Blackbeard the Pirate despite it ludicrous plot line. Go figure! PirateQueen, the Heston version of TI is fantastic. Probably the best all around pirate flick to date, except POTC of course. Sadly it's still not on DVD. I'll go quietly to me hammock on th' gundeck now.... :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackjohn Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 PirateQueen, the Heston version of TI is fantastic. Probably the best all around pirate flick to date, except POTC of course. Sadly it's still not on DVD. Agreed!!! Chuck Heston rules as Long John Silver!!! I say we get a petition going and make those b-----ds release it on DVD!!! Are ye with me!!!???!!! As for Swashbuckler... I recorded it on my hard drive and plan to watch it this weekend. And hey, as MadMike pointed Geoffrey Holder is in it, so it can't be bad! Hahahahaha... Blackjohn My Home on the Web The Pirate Brethren Gallery Dreams are the glue that holds reality together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaRed Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I'm with ye, 100% Blackjohn. It would be fantastic on DVD. Not only is Heston amazing, but Christian Bale is bar none the best Jim Hawkins ever portrayed. And Oliver Reed's Billy Bones? Fuggettabowtit! He's incredible! And there's Christopher Lee as Blind Pew, Ilsa Blair as Jim's poor mum, and one of my fave character actors, Peter Posthelwaite as George Merry. Throw in the superb production values and a terrific score by the almighty Chieftains and you got yerself one helluva good flick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Young Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I own Swashbuckler... I don't love it, but I don't hate it. I watch it once a month, so it shows that I do like it because I can tolerate it. Some folks say Cutthroat Island is a horrible film. It's certainly don't hate it... but I can stand watching it more than PotC. Not that I hate PotC. Quite the opposite. Worst "Pirate" film would have to go to "The Pirate" starring Gene Kelly. Now, I love Gene Kelly. I love musicals. I love lighthearted films. But somehow this movie was just plain bad all together. "Yo Ho, all together hoist the colours high Heave Ho, theives and beggers Never shall we die..." "I don't care who ye say you are lad, if ye say 'savvy' one more time, I'll bury this cutlass in that thick skull of yers!" -Captain John Young - PILF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Scabbs Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I still say "Crimson Pirate" is the worst pirate movie ever made. "I like nachos. Mermaid nachos." The Seabeaver - Official Website Facebook MySpace Twitter * * * * * * * * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Sully Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 No way! Crimson Pirate is a COOL FLIC! Awards to worst pirate movie should be--Pirates of the Plains-- starring Tim Curry. What the hell was he thinking!?! "Remember, on a pirate ship, in pirate waters, in a pirate world, ask no questions. Believe only what you see. No, believe half of what you see."... Burt Lancaster DUM SPIRO SPERO... WHILE I BREATH, I HOPE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaRed Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Crimson Pirate has it's moments. The chemistry between Burt Lancaster and Nick Cravat as Ojo is a joy to watch. But it's not a flick I find myself watching over and over. I think the worst "Pirate Movie" ever made is Goonies. It's highly entertaining, but as a pirate movie....ugh. Now I know it's for kids, and it's all in fun, etc, etc....but c'mon. Even at the tender age of 10 my pals and I found it quite laughable as a premise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Bess Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I dunno.... what about *Ice Pirates*?? Well, you may not realize it but your looking at the remains of what was once a very handsome woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaRed Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Ladies and Gents, we have a winner. Bess has offered up the quintessential worst pirate movie. I forgot all about that one! Good call, IB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stitch Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Beware the dreaded space herpies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackjohn Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 At least Ice Pirates had the dreaded space herpies... Pirates of the Plain gets my vote. Blackjohn My Home on the Web The Pirate Brethren Gallery Dreams are the glue that holds reality together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 OMG! That was such a cheesy 80's movie! I remember there being a part where everyone suddenly gets an afro when they go thru some time warp thing. My sister, my cousin and I all watched this and our parents freaked cuz of the parts where they have sex-lol! Geez, that corny sex scene-lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Bess Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Ladies and Gents, we have a winner. Bess has offered up the quintessential worst pirate movie. I forgot all about that one! Good call, IB! It's all a matter of personal taste I suppose but... (bowing from the waist) Thank you, thank you. Well, you may not realize it but your looking at the remains of what was once a very handsome woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorg Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I dunno.... what about *Ice Pirates*?? nonononono, Bess, we said "worst" not "silliest. Drop a kitten six feet, and she grins... Drop an elephant six feet, and ya gots yerself a mess ta clean up.... Sometimes bein' the biggest and most powerful is the LAST thing you wanna be..... Mad Ozymandias Zorg the Unsnottered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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