Silly Pirate Songs

[Katie Nameless]

Most chivalrous fish of the ocean

To ladies forbearing and mild,

Though his record be dark,

is the man-eating shark,

Who will eat neither woman nor child.

He dines upon seamen and skippers,

And tourists his hunger assuage,

And a fresh cabin boy

will inspire him with joy

If he's past the maturity age.

A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,

He'll gobble one any fine day,

But the ladies, God bless 'em

He'll only address 'em

Politely and go on his way.

I can readily cite you an instance

Where a lovely young lady of Breem,

Who was tender and sweet

and delicious to eat

Fell into the bay with a scream.

She struggled and flounced in the water,

And signaled in vain for her bar,

And she'd surely been drowned

if she hadn't been found

By a chivalrous man-eating shark.

He bowed in a manner most polished

Thus soothing her impulses wild.

"Don't be frightened," he said,

"I've been properly bred,

And will eat neither woman nor child."

Then her proffered his fin and she took it

Such gallantry none can dispute.

While the passengers cheered

as the vessel they neared

And a broadside was fired in salute.

And they soon stood alongside the vessel,

When a life-saving dinghy was lowered

With the pick of the crew,

And her relatives too

And the mate and the skipper aboard.

So they took her aboard in a jiffy,

And the shark stood attention the while,

Then he raised on his flipper

and ate up the skipper

And went on his way with a smile.

And this shows that the prince of the ocean,

To ladies forbearing and mile,

Though his record be dark

Is the man-eating shark,

Who will eat neither woman nor child.

Well, tha's the strangest oddity of a shantie I could come up with! What do ye salts got? I'll take composed ones. For the sake o' them bein'....painfullly amusing coming from a peticular few. You know who you are.

Let the insanity begin!

[Blackeye Susan]

I don't know any silly pirate songs...none at all.

blackeye susan

[Eithne_MacEwan]

What about the "Pirates who don't do anything?"

Both the Veggie Tales Version and the RelientK version?

This is the RelientK version...

we are the pirates we don't do anything

we just stay at home, and lie around

and if you ask us, to do anything

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything

well I've never been to Greenland

and I've never been to Denver

and I've never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul

and I've never been to Moscow

and I've never been to Tampa

and I've never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates we don't do anything

we just stay at home, and lie around

and if you ask us, to do anything

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything

and I've never hoist the main sail

and I've never swabbed the poop deck

and I've never veered starboard, cause I've never sailed at all

and I've never walked the gang plank

and I've never owned a parrot.

and I've never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates we don't do anything

we just stay at home, and lie around

and if you ask us, to do anything

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything

I've never plucked a rooster

and I am not too good at ping-pong

and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall

and I've never kissed a chipmunk,

and I've never gotten head lice

and I have never been to Boston in the fall

(pirate captains log 2002

who be this band relient k

and why they be so full of contradictions)

we don't know what he did

but we're down with captain kidd

we don't wake up before lunch

but we all eat captain crunch

we don't smoke, we don't chew

we watch captain kangaroo

and I've never licked a spark-plug

and I've never sniffed a stink bug

and I've never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball

and I've never bathed in yogurt

and I don't look good in leggings

and I've never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates who don't do anything

we just stay at home, and lie around

and if you ask us, to do anything

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything

we are the pirates we don't do anything

we just stay at home, and lie around

and if you ask us, to do anything

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything

[Blind Rhoid Pyle]

The songs from Muppet Treasure Island should qualify, especially "When You're a Professional Pirate."

Hoist the Jolly Roger by Adam and the Ants is mildly silly.

Monty Python's Account-Sea Shanty is very silly.

[Zephyr]

Aaaarrrrr and the ministry of silly walks even sillier....

these are really fun! thanks!

probably on another thread, but what about serious, historic, authentic sounding shanties....on cd, any recommendations?

[William Brand]

Fun. Aye.

[Charity Sweetlove]

I just really like this song by the Arrogant Worms

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,

I had a little stretch of land along the CP line

But time went by and though I tried, the money wasn't there

And bankers came and took my land and told me ";fair is fair";

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no

";Hire you now?"; they'd always laugh, ";we just let twenty go!";

The government, the promised me a measly little sum

But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum.

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?

I'm gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan!!!

(Arrr! Arrr! Arrr! Arrr! Arrr!!)

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large

But just the other day I found an unprotected barge

I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,

I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!

A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river

Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver

Cause they know that TRACTOR JACK is hiding in the bay

I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat

He'd follow on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat

But cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job

And now he's sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!

A swingin' sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company

I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!)

Prince Albert down to Saskatoon I'm the terror of the seas

If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Arrrr, Metis! Get it? Matey? (Hey, that's Riel-ly funny! You know, Louis Riel?)

Well, Pirate life's appealing but you just don't find it here,

I've heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers

They roam the Athabaska and sail to Fort McKay

And you're gonna loose your stetson if you have to pass their way!

Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze

My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze

I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go

I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores...

[Gute Morgan]

I've got 2, but I can't take credit for 'em. They be done by a local filkin' group in the Baltimore area called the Boogie Knights. Here be the first one...I'll post the second directly.

The Buccaneer Rap

© David Keefer

Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

You’re a peasant boy, you sit and mope

You own no land, so you’ve got no hope

Indentured servant, or maybe a slave

A life of adventure is what you crave.

You know the taxes are coming due

And if you can’t pay ’em, that’s the end of you.

So escape the chains and the auctioneer,

Run away to the sea and be a buccaneer

I said, Yo!

Yo-ho!

You’re a gentleman and your life is fine

With a powdered wig and a cute behind

All of the ladies dig your style

Then one of ’em says she bears your child.

Now her Daddy’s rich and yours is too

And they both think marriage is best for you

But if it’s your freedom that you revere

Run away to the sea and be a buccaneer.

I said, Yo!

Yo-ho!

You work in the smithy to earn your pay

And you go for a drink at the end of the day

Then in come soldiers, guys with swords

Drunk as skunks and off their gourds.

They pick a fight with you and your friends

And three of ’em’s dead before it all ends

It was self-defense, that should be clear

Run away to the sea and be a buccaneer.

I said, Yo!

Yo-ho!

You feel the people are treated unfair

So you speak your mind in the public square

You tell the crowd that the best solution

Is to take up arms for a revolution.

They storm the castle to no avail

Then turn on you when the coup has failed

You can try it again in a couple of years

Run away to the sea and be a buccaneer.

I said, Yo!

Yo-ho!

You’ve seen the king with a number of wenches

In beds, on floors, and even park benches

And as his guard, your only job

Is to see no one disturbs the slob

One day you’re sick and the Queen discovers

Her roving king and his latest lover

For failing to guard his majesty’s rear

Run away to the sea and be a buccaneer.

I said, Yo!

Yo-ho!

You chart the heavens and read the stars

Observing the sky, the moon, and Mars

You write a paper on what you’ve found

The sun is the center and the earth goes ’round

The church doesn’t care for your rhetoric

And they have you arrested as a heretic

To be judged by a jury of your peers

Run away to the sea and be a buccaneer.

I said, Yo!

Yo-ho!

Yo ho ho, and a bottle of—

Rum!

[Gute Morgan]

Here be the 2nd, as promised...

Port of Havana

(to the tune of Copacobana)

© David Keefer

His name's Rodrigo

He fished the islands

He owned a modest fishing ship

With a crew of ten-and-six.

He fished for snapper

And bass and tuna.

And all the restaurants and inns,

Liked to buy their fish from him.

Because his price was fair,

Which in this town was rare.

He was popular, he was happy,

And without a care.

At the port of

Port of Havana;

Where buccaneer gold buys bananas.

At the port of

Port of Havana;

Cutthroats and sailors

Drink rum with the whalers

In Havana,

C-u-b-a.

They called him "Muerte:"

"The Dark Marauder."

He flew a flag with skull and bones

From his ship, the Rolling Stone.

He plundered merchants

And Spanish galleons.

Though not as famous as the rest

He always thought himself the best.

But ships were scarce of late;

His hold was low on freight,

And when he spotted a fishing vessel,

Felt he could not wait.

Near the port of

Port of Havana;

Where you may not live through manyana.

Near the port of

Of old Havana;

Ships who turned chicken

Were ripe for the pickin'

Near Havana,

C-u-b-a.

(INTERLUDE MUSICALE! VIVA!)

They say that Muerte

Attacked Rodrigo

While the sun was riding high

In the Carribean sky.

But he was ready,

Was old Rodrigo.

The pirates, as they came aboard,

Met with nets instead of swords.

So Muerte cussed and railed

'Cause the attack had failed,

And the crew and the Dark Marauder

Would be hung or jailed!

Near the port of

Port of Havana,

Where fishermen ain't Pollyannas.

Yeah, the port of

Port of Havana.

Neptune's domain

Can be boon or be bane

Near Havana,

C-u-b-a.

[Sealegs Constance]

THese be really silly pyrate songs. I needed some cheering up. I thank ye all I really did need a good laugh.

[Capn_Enigma]

I was mildly astonished that no one mentioned this one so far:

"A Pirate I Was Meant To Be" from the Monkey Island adventure game.

It can be downloaded here in the .mp3 format.

The lyrics go like this:

A Pirate I Was Meant To Be

Haggis: We're a band of vicious pirates!

Edward: A sailin´ out to sea.

Bill: When you hear our gentle singing...

Haggis: You'll be sure to turn and flee!

Guybrush: Oh, this is just ridiculous.

Guybrush: Come on, men! We've got to recover that map!

Bill: That pirate will be done for, when he falls into our trap!

Bill: We're a club of tuneful rovers!

Haggis: We can sing in every clef!

Edward: We can even hit the high notes!

Haggis: It's just too bad we're tone deaf!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: Let's go defeat that evil pirate!

Edward: We know he's sure to lose, ´cause we know just where to fire at!

Edward: We're thieving balladeers.

Haggis: A gang of cutthroat mugs.

Bill: To fight us off ye don't need guns!

Edward: Just really good ear plugs!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: All right, crew, let's get to work!

Haggis: Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk.

Haggis: We'll fight you in the harbor.

Bill: We'll battle you on land.

Edward: But when you meet singing pirates...

Guybrush: They'll be more than you can stand.

Bill: Ooooh! That was a good one!

Guybrush: No, it wasn't.

Guybrush: No time for song! We've got to move!

Bill: The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!

Bill: We're a pack a´ scurvy sea dogs.

Haggis: Have we pity? Not a dram!

Edward: We all eat roasted garlic...

Haggis: ...then sing from the diaphragm!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: Less singing, more sailing.

Edward: When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!

Bill: If ye try ta fight us...

Haggis: ...you will get a nasty whackin´!

Edward: If ya disrespect our singing´...

Bill: ...we will feed ya to a kraken!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: I´m getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming.

Haggis: We´re ready to set sail, through the cannons need a priming.

Edward: We're troublesome corsairs!

Bill: And we've come to steal your treasures!

Haggis: We would shoot you on the downbeat...

Edward: ...but we have to rest five measures.

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: Stop! Stop! Stop!

Bill: The brass is what we'll polish and the deck is what we'll mop.

Guybrush: You say you're nasty pirates...

Guybrush: ...scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?

Guybrush: From what I've seen I tell you...

Guybrush: ...you're not pirates! You're just slackers!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.

Haggis: And...!

Haggis: ...um...

Bill: Well...

Edward: ...err...

Bill: Door hinge?

Edward: No, no...

Bill: Guess the song's over, then.

Haggis: Guess so.

Edward: Okay, back to work.

Guybrush: Well gee. I feel a little guilty, now.

[crimson corsair]

If you have small one around the house and they like the "Veggie Tales"

look for a song called(i think its)"Pirates that don't do anything"it is very funny and catchy too.