Poetry Challenge for Capt. W. E. Roberts

[Capt. Flint]

Dearest Capt W. E. Roberts... I see ye have placed another of your whimsical poems following mine about Luigi. It was very nice. So... I hereby challlenge ye to a battle of words. (and anyone else who wishes to join in ) I will duel you with poetry. Lets keep them short, and we can start when you say you accept the challenge. If you dare. We can let our fellow pirates decide wich is the better of what we write.

So......

To Capt. W. E. Roberts

a battle of words if you dare

one with humor and whit if you care

we shall keep them short

without great retort

unless a lack of words you despair

send me your reply

without the excuse of old quills or ink ran dry

and if you like a true challenge

then perhaps you will see

that to battle in the chat room

is the place to be

nothing prepared or ready at hand

just what your mind can produce at a stand

So I will await

your answer to me

with words at the ready to fire at thee

poetically yours..The Capt.

.

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

My Dear Captain Flint,

Your mind is quite bent

But lyrics like mine

Would make you sound like a swine

And you'd end up rather spent.

YOU'RE ON!

Let the bloody games begin!

ARRRRRGH!

Capt. WE Roberts

[Capt. Flint]

Ah Capt. Roberts

it's so nice to see

that you'll let your quill

do the talking for thee

my words have been sharpened

and edged with great care

so after this

ye best be prepared

for with much love and compassion

that a pirate can boast

I shall beat your ass

from coast to coast

Watch..... now I'll get writers block..... ( NEVER )...... The Capt.

FAST IS GOOD, BUT, ACCURATE IS BETTER....... Wyatt Earp

[captweaver65]

I never thought I'd see pirates dueling without a sword.

what a perfectly delightful challenge,ripe with debaucherous possibilities.

[captweaver65]

the Lymeric is my chosen poetic form.it is short,very formal,highly rhyming and traditionally lewd-just the way I like it.

here's a couple of clean ones to start the festivities.

There once was a pirate named Flint

Who wanted to duel for a stint

His weapon was words

Neither flintlock or swords

A battle that's sure to imprint.

And then there was a pirate named Westyn

Who thought is was best to invest in

Rum recipes galore

Never know what's in store

From the Captain who knows what she's best in.

hehe

Capt Weaver

[captweaver65]

You remember the blond pirate Westyn

She's bold and can take all the jesting

The pokes and the prods

Of us rum drunken sods

In this duel Captain Flint is requesting

[captweaver65]

The Captain he's fixin' to battle

He's speaking of words:mere prattle

ass kicking he says

from the town of Jerez

All the way back to Seattle.

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

My Dear Capt. Flint:

From time to time, I've thought

That I should, and you ought

Write a good poem

So no blasphemy throwin'

You silly, scurvy lout!

Oh, and by the way...

Rum may pour;

Gin may fizz.

But a lady pirate

Is the best there is.

ARRGH!

Capt. WE Roberts

[Capt. Flint]

Round one......

With sails unfurled and pennant high

the eerie black ship

sailed on through nigh

Her name was not spoken

for her home port be hell

and all trembled with fear

as she sounded her bell

A ghost ship..a banshee

whatever you choose

but don't challenge her guns

for surely you'll loose

So if you see the feared ship

through the fog as some do

with spectres on board

to act as her crew

Do not fire salute

or wave from the shore

unless the banshees scream

ye can ignore

Then perhaps.. just mabye

if the gods ye do please

then the dark black ship

will leave you in peace

[captweaver65]

that was a damn good nautical ghost poem worthy of publication in any fine book or magazine with a nautical,pirate or ghost theme.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!! for a job well done.

and a wussy huzzah just for good measure.

hehe

[captweaver65]

I know you know dread pirate Roberts

She's brave to be here with us perverts

captain Luigi you see

With evil tiny and me

Meaning no one can be safe in there skirts.

Captain Luigi's my mate fer corruption

Wherever he goes there's disruption

Some cabin boys hide

Others sit by his side

To see who will take his eruption.

Now the ladys have a similiar reaction

Some are bound by glorious attraction

To a pirate so versed

In love making coerced

And no one leaves without great satisfaction.

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

Ahem, ahem...

Born, was I, two centuries too late,

For I am a pirate at heart.

No sooner the tale was told that I wail,

And wonder why it tears me apart.

The North Star, she guides me,

As my sails pop with might.

I go sailing along, singing my song,

With a smile full of charm and delight.

For no one knows my longing;

My fear and absolute shame.

Tonight is the night, I won't have no fright,

Longing for piracy and fame.

I'll grapple a boat that's unguarded,

And leave it a true burning mess.

I'll take all the men and leave all the hens,

And leave you to imagine the rest.

For twenty-nine years I've been yearning,

To search for glory undone.

Lord knows I've tried to let my conscience guide

But it's just too damn much fun.

By morning, my soul will be leaving,

To search for treasures unfound.

To live out my lives underneath cloudless skies,

And never again run aground.

Arrgh!

Capt. WE Roberts

[captweaver65]

I know ya asked fer short poems,but I started writing it and just couldn't stop.there's more to the story,but that will have to wait for another time.

Sir Henry Morgan and the Fall of Panama

It was on a mornin'

Dark and Stormin'

It was december 1670,

3000 men

And not one hen

Lookin' fer prizes a plenty.

Morgan was Captain of English and French

33 ships with bloodlust to quench

Heading for rich Panama,

Joseph Bradley he sent out

Destroyed them all without a doubt

San Lorenzo the first that they saw.

Canoes up the Chagres

Then the jungle:hard progress

At last the city was in view,

2000 defenders

Spanish contenders

And the Buccaneers killed them all too

Both horses and men

Knew their life would soon end

Murder's what they did intend,

So they tried to flee

From the killing spree

Just a few they did not apprehend.

They looted,pilaged and burned the whole town

Never knowing the wealth had been taken far down

In a place that was better defended,

To ecquador way

Where the loot would long stay

Till after the battle had ended.

Back in England its said

That France wants Morgan's head

For the piracy acts that he did,

England said no

To Jamaica he'd go

And they knighted him instead.

[Capt. Flint]

I agree with you capt Weaver about it not being easy to keep them short...... but, thats part of the challenge. Try again....

Jolly was the roger that flew in the wind

Black was the beard that grew on his chin

And people trembled with fear as they sounded his name

TEACH TEACH TEACH

Queen Anne got her revenge when he ran her aground

And Israels hands led the prizes they found

so without much care he sailed the world round

TEACH TEACH TEACH

In Carolina he became undone

But, his legend will live till kingdom come

For king of the pirates he had become

TEACH TEACH TEACH

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

"How I Captured Blackbeard"

Teach, you say, horrible was he?

He'd shake in his boots at the likes of me!

I'd grab him from behind, he'd scream like a girl,

For he'd never seen a pirate in this whole world...

To rival and demand the likes of this one!

I drink and I spit and I cuss quite a sum!

And walking the plank is how I'd best him,

And say as he fell, "My name is Westyn!"

Then drowning in brine, his whiskers deflated,

Wondering how I was there, two centuries belated.

I'd wave and I'd smile, "First mate, move us on!"

And we'd laugh and we'd sail on into the sun.

Aye, Teach was a bad one, not nice, but quite mean.

A beard full of candles and eyes full of gleam.

But I'd like to think that he'd regress while restin'

And wonder how he was captured by a girl named Westyn!

Arrrgh!

Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts

[captweaver65]

Capt Roberts,you are just sooooooo adorable-in that rough ,tough piratical way of course-hehe

great poem!

aarrgghhhh!!!

[Capt. Flint]

A Pirates Love Poem

She was as lovely as a ship

from her stem down to her stern

Her head was like the bow kept high

and her stern was round and firm

Her bosom heaved just like a sail

billowed and full of air

Her legs were just like kedge anchors

that got her from there to here

Her lips were like me cutlass

deadly, shiny and smooth

and her hips could make you sea sick

by the way they swayed as she moved

Her kiss was like a match to powder

and would cause me cannon to fire

Her embrace was like a press

for you couldn't get much tighter

Her passion was like me flintlock

never sure but hurt the same

Alas I miss my one true love

I wish I knew her name

Boo hoo..."wiping a tear from me eye"... Someone pass me the bottle, I need another drink.... Boohoo

[Capt. Flint]

The day has come and night is here

without a message from you I hear

Is this the end do you surrender

shall there be no more of this adventure

I'll await until the morrow to see if you reply

if not then the game is done and it's victory is mine

The Capt.......

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

Oh, no, Captain Flint. You'll not be rid of me that easily. I have just started a new PT job, serving drinks to scurvy dogs. It keeps me out late.

Here's my newest installment. Beware, it is quite long.

"A Captive Heart"

With tides on high and letters of Marque,

There always was a little part

Of one lady sailor, born of thunder

To mesmerize, pillage and plunder.

And it was on this day in 1725,

She noticed that to stay alive,

It meant to stop begging and bartering.

There would be no more of this silly martyring!

So, she threw away her king's lacy collar,

And wanted no more of this pitiful squalor.

She decided that she would be true to her heart,

And do no more killing on England's part.

So, she rolled up her sleeves and sharpened her steel,

And decided not to be so demure and gentile.

She summoned her crew and hoisted her sails,

Never again to hear the king's wails.

She set sail for Tortuga, colors in view.

Maybe Port Royal, in Jamaica, too.

When suddenly a ship came into sight!

It was a naval commander, gleaming and bright!

What was that? Who could it be?

Who'd be bothering her on Christmas Eve?

Who dared interfere with her chosen vocation?

Wasn't like England was in strict deliberation.

Who could have known, that on this trip

They'd capture the captain of that naval ship?

But he was wounded, bleeding, and hurt so bad,

That even the captain felt rather sad.

She knew that he would damn her to hell,

But she stayed with him, nursed him well.

He was a young soldier, dashing and brave,

Who thought she was no more than a dismissible knave.

But what he found out, to his very dismay,

Was that he fell in love on that Christmas Day.

So they married in Spring and had lots of kids,

And never once told them of the things they did.

For in this life, one thing is true.

If you fall in love, good for you!

Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts

[captweaver65]

I must concede.

you both have far too much time...er...talent for me to compete with you.

Capt Weaver

[Capt. Flint]

Ahhhh Capt Roberts... You must remember the original challenge... They are to be kept short. I see that you and Capt. Weaver have a hard time keeping that part. I never said they had to be very good, although it would be better to read good ones, but, they need to be short.

With that in mind...... aahhheemmmm ( starts to sing the following)

There was a mighty sailing ship called the Abigail

on many a day she could be seen settin off to sail

now the story goes that she was named for the captins daughter

in truth it was his mistress love that he named her after.

another beer and I would sing more, but, alas me throat has gone dry....

[Capt. Flint]

Capt Roberts..... I am sure that your job is the cause of your non reply. I will give you one last poem and then we shall see when we can get the challenge going again.....

Lil Jacky Rackum

when found great ships attacked em

he always knew the way to go

he earned the nickname Calico

pillage and plunder were his show

Lil Jacky Rackum

Lil Jacky Rackum

when with women he would sack em'

with Anne and Mary by his side

he did not have to far to ride

for a wild time upon the tide

Lil Jacky Rackum

Lil Jacky Rackum

when captured they would stretch him

to execution dock he went

and with three tides his life was spent

now no more the seas he shall frequent

Lil Jacky Rackum

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

In limerick form this time, to honor Captain Weaver:

Oh, Flinty...

There once was a pirate named Flint,

Whose time was laughingly spent,

On poetry and rhyme,

With a gal with more time,

Than he could possibly invent!

Who knew tripe could gleam and shine?

Did you actually pen that last line?

I laughed a retort,

At jokes of such sport,

Now you're just wasting my time.

Yes, yes, Captain Flint. Don't get too cocky, now. The only reason I haven't been online three times a day is because of my job. I haven't even gotten to speak with Katey! And, you'll be happy to know that I don't have to be back to work until Thursday, so keep it comin'!

And, I'm also sorry to lose Captain Weaver. I loved your limericks, Cap'n, and these are for your enjoyment as well!

Yours,

Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts

[Capt. Flint]

Allright me fellow seadogs... When this challenge was started, we asked that all of you act as judges. Now, we thrown enough broad sides to warrent some sort of reply. Come on now, break out those ink wells and give us a reply. Awaiting to hear from you...... The Capt.

[Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts]

Aye, Capt. Flint. I would have to agree with you on that one. Not one single vote for either of us. I'm rather disappointed that no one else has joined in other than Captain Weaver, and now the good Captain's gone as well!

JOIN IN THE FUN, LADS AND LASSIES!

Capt. WE Roberts