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PiPmas Carols


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I was thinking about Shay's parody songs last year and...well, a bad pun just sprang up in the muddled mass that is my mind:

The Most Blunderbuss Time of the Year*

I did not come up with any lyrics for it or anything. That exercise is left to the reader.

*Sung to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry PiPmas natch.

Mycroft: "My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?"

John: "I don't know."

Mycroft: "Neither do I. But initially he wanted to be a pirate."

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I love pirate carols! Written a couple myself, actually. None of them very good.

Captain Jack McCool, landlocked pirate extraordinaire, Captain of the dreaded prairie schooner Ill Repute, etc. etc.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"That’s what a ship is, you know. It’s not just a keel, and a hull, and a deck, and sails. That’s what a ship needs. But what a ship is… what the Black Pearl really is… is freedom."

-Captain Jack Sparrow

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How's this...

On the first day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

a long walk off a short plank.

On the second day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the third day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the fourth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the fifth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging

3 cannon balls

2 cabin boys

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the sixth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

6 fathoms of shoreline

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the seventh day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the eight day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

8 pieces of eight,

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the ninth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

9 cat-o-tails,

8 pieces of eight,

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the tenth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

10 wenches wenching,

9 cat-o-tails,

8 pieces of eight,

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the eleventh day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

11 bad-ass pirates,

10 wenches wenching,

9 cat-o-tails,

8 pieces of eight,

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and a long walk off a short plank.

On the twelfth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

12 bottles of rum,

11 bad-ass pirates,

10 wenches wenching,

9 cat-o-tails,

8 pieces of eight,

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and the trophy for the

Walk the Plank Contest.

D.B. Couper

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It's not a carol but I penned "How the Grinch Stole PiP-Mas" this morning, an ode to PiPs past for my crewe. Thanks Animal and Cyren for the fodder for this.

-- Hurricane

______________________________________________________________________

http://piratesofthecoast.com/images/pyracy-logo1.jpg

  • Captain of The Pyrates of the Coast
  • Author of "Memoirs of a Buccaneer: 30 Year Before the Mast" (Published in Fall 2011)
  • Scurrilous Rogue
  • Stirrer of Pots
  • Fomenter of Mutiny
  • Bon Vivant & Roustabout
  • Part-time Carnival Barker
  • Certified Ex-Wife Collector
  • Experienced Drinking Companion

"I was screwed. I readied my confession and the sobbing pleas not to tell my wife. But as I turned, no one was in the bed. The room was empty. The naked girl was gone, like magic."

"Memoirs of a Buccaneer: 30 Years Before the Mast" - Amazon.com

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How's this...

On the twelfth day of P.I.P.

my pirate crew gave to me:

12 bottles of rum,

11 bad-ass pirates,

10 wenches wenching,

9 cat-o-tails,

8 pieces of eight,

7 seas to sail on,

6 fathoms of shoreline,

5 GOLD DOUBLOONS,

4 floggers flogging,

3 cannon balls,

2 cabin boys,

and the trophy for the

Walk the Plank Contest.

Nice DB, it could be a winner if you sing that on the plank...although you would never make it to the end, you would be tossed off long before. perhaps just the last verse :)

Edited by Diosa De Cancion

Diosa De Cancion

aka Mary Read

www.iammaryread.com

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He wouldn't make it through "On the"... :rolleyes:

Edited by hurricane

-- Hurricane

______________________________________________________________________

http://piratesofthecoast.com/images/pyracy-logo1.jpg

  • Captain of The Pyrates of the Coast
  • Author of "Memoirs of a Buccaneer: 30 Year Before the Mast" (Published in Fall 2011)
  • Scurrilous Rogue
  • Stirrer of Pots
  • Fomenter of Mutiny
  • Bon Vivant & Roustabout
  • Part-time Carnival Barker
  • Certified Ex-Wife Collector
  • Experienced Drinking Companion

"I was screwed. I readied my confession and the sobbing pleas not to tell my wife. But as I turned, no one was in the bed. The room was empty. The naked girl was gone, like magic."

"Memoirs of a Buccaneer: 30 Years Before the Mast" - Amazon.com

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Well how about this one then...

(To the tune of Jingle Bells)

Argh! Argh! Argh!

Argh! Argh! Argh!

Pirates in Fort Taylor.

We'll drink some rum

and dance to song,

just like an old time sailor.

Argh! Argh! Argh!

Argh! Argh! Argh!

P. I. P. in Old Key West.

Sterling, Dog, and Fama too,

come down and meet the rest.

D.B. Couper

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  • 3 weeks later...

All right... last one ( since I'm the only one goofy enough to be doing this).

Pirate Nights

(to the tune of Silent Night)

Pirate nights, old fort nights,

rum and chowder, I smell gun powder.

Courtyard flags of skull and crossed bones,

cannons, swords, and no cell phones.

Friendships what we like the most,

Brethern of the coast.

D.B. Couper

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All right... last one ( since I'm the only one goofy enough to be doing this).

OK - I'll join the goofy. Sung to Jingle bells...

Dashing to the Fort

in an open Model A

o'er the seas we go

gawking all the way

R R R

Parade on Duval street

drinking grog at night

what sport it is to chant and sing

a Pirate tale tonight

rrrrr...Pirate Bells, Stynky smells

Mission set a leg

Shay o' the keys is at the wheel

and Patrick got away

A day or two in port

just off a long sea sail

and soon miss Baudy Bee

had stung me with her flail

R R R

The monkey loud and drunk

joined squirrel between her breasts

then found me in my bunk

and emptied my sea chests

rrrrrr...Pirate tales, dinner snails

Stynky on the lamb

7 courses and some tales

and Cross was eating ham

background.jpg

Aye... Plunder Awaits!

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R R R! Ha ha ha!

Mycroft: "My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?"

John: "I don't know."

Mycroft: "Neither do I. But initially he wanted to be a pirate."

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pox on you... ye had to get me started

to the tune of Deck the Halls:

Don we now our rogue apparel

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Troll the ancient English Channel

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Decks abound with loaded cannon

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Armed with cutlass, morals abandoned

Fa la la la la, la la la la

With voice and sword, we start the noise

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

They begin to hide the cabin boys

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Leap aboard and fight like demons

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Finish off the frightened seamen

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Find the wine, and all the garters

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Drink and pander, sin and barter

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Till confronted with your end

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Captured by his majesty's men

Fa la la la la, la la la la

And before ye start to hurling

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Ye should know it's Captain Sterling

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Follow me to yonder Gallows

Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Where your name ne'er to be hallowed

Fa la la la la, la la la la

background.jpg

Aye... Plunder Awaits!

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