Captain Drake Flint

spank the monkey Yarr!

If you're really curious about the Defoe/Johnson controversy, I highly recommend the book The Canon-isation of Daniel Defoe by P.N Furbanks and W.R. Owens... Aye me hearty, I'll be sure t' plunder meself a copy of th' booke. Me heart felt thanks on th' information, be sure t' have a tankard of rum on me! I bow me hat in yer general direction...

Yarr I be wishin' yer all a happy International Scurvy Awareness Day! I be drinking Brass Monkeys on th' deck t'night. What?... it be avin' OJ in it!! YarrHa Ha!

Arr I be likin' th' eye! A huge amount of effort, yer should be proud! Here be a challenge for yer me hearty, yer reckon yer could make th' other 'pieces of eight' of the Pirate Lords? I know that would be a fair collection to 'av.

Yarrr I be readin' me favourite booke, A General History of the Robberies & Murders of the Most Notorious Pyrates. by the great Captain Charles 'Who am I' Johnson!

Yarr me second love be Heavy Metal!

Lightspeed

Arr these 'ere blasted internet restrictions! I get so angry in me landlubbers day job being unable t' access many of th' links yer fellow pirates are puttin' on the boards I run me cutlass through the monitors... then get a slapped wrist

Yarr thar be a mist around this 'ere town, better moor an' spend th' night in th' tavern...tis a hard life...

^ 'Av a few figurines: Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Eric Draven (The Crow) but they are hidden behind all me pirate garb!! < Me landlubber maties think me interest in Pirates is boarding on obsession! V If ye could get hold of the DeLorean an' get th' blasted thing t' work which real pirate ship/captain would yer sail on/with?

Ahoy yer fellow seadogs... I wer searchin' tis tavern high n' low but wer unable t' find evidence of Pastafarianism! If yer wish to discover fer yerself sail over t' Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or wikipedia If yer ship be gettin' repaired I will spare me time t' giv' yer the basic jist... "The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a parody religion founded in 2005 which protests the decision to require teaching Intelligent Design as an alternative to biological evolution" Now tis may not be soundin' like yer mug of rum one of th' main beliefs of us Pastafarians is... "According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, and adds that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history." Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19." Also.. "global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s." Now I be warnin' yer all, us Pastafarians get spat on by landlubbers who take us, an' themselves, far t' seriously; just yer be readin' th' hatemail on th' website t' see! I by no means preach t' yer as I 'av the up most respect for any person, landlubber or pirate, who honour thar own personal beliefs so I won' be avin' no arguments on tis 'ere board... yer will just be makin' yerself look a fool! Arr, yer be 'avin enuff ov me ramblin' on... let us know what yer be thinkin'...

If any of me crew be misbehavin' I punish them by not allowin' them t' watch that great pirate o' the seabed, SpongeBob! That upsets me crew a whole bunch! YArrHa Ha! But t' the blunderin' landlubbers I tie 'em t' me mast an' let the birds 'av 'em.

Aye they all be me doppelgangers!

Did any of ye popcorn munchin' movie goers happen t' see Sweeney Todd? Captain Jack plays Johnny Depp playing Sweeney Todd very well, he should be proud! I accopanied his wenches Giselle and Scarlet along with Master Gibbs to thy landlubbers silver screen an' apart from being unable t' carry me sword in t' the darkened room I came out grinning more than when I found me first treasure chest!

Yarr Bilgemunky I tip me hat in ye general direction! It be a pleasure t' see they 'av a followin' over th' pond...

Greetings t' all ye pirates who inhabit the great isle of Britain, I am endlessly searching for fellow seadogs residing in Scotland, willin' to share me rum w'th thee. I am currently shipwrecked on the shores of Moray but sail frequently t' the fort of Chester, if ther' be any pirates in taverns nearby say ARR!

Yarr me hearties, th' company is true and the wenches be pretty tis be the greatest darn place in t' whole of the city! I 'm surprised you ain't heard of meself befor' !! Me blasted crew managed to crash me vessel on the shores of Scotland, alas there be no pyracy to speak of near by! For years I have longed to sail the mighty Atlantic and share me stories with all ye pirates over the pond. I be a true believer in the Pastafarian way, any of ye be followers? If ye drunken swashbucklers 'ave any more questions I could b' tempted to share, for a mug of rum! YArr Ha Ha!!

Avast all ye scoundrels who enjoy the pirate songs a bit louder than the rest of ye crew... You may of heard of Running Wild and if you spend many a night chasing the horizon listening to them then try a band from over here in Scotland: Alestorm! Their album 'Captain Morgan's Revenge' can be plundered from Amazon and Play.com

Arr I be butting in ye conversation, for this I apologise. I don't speak Latin (although I'd give up rum for a year to be able too) but me fellow pirates at the Heavy Metal Pirate Brotherhood (ok maybe nae a year but a wee while) have a motto: Nunc Est Bibendum which be Latin for Now Is The Time To Drink!! YArrrHa Ha Ha!

Yarr me fellow seadogs! Captain Flint be new to your humble tavern. A wish to surround meself with buxom wenches and share a jar of grog/bumbo/rum/ale/beer/other alcoholic beverage of your choice with all me fellow pirate scoundrels! If you be joining me and me crew say Arrr!!