Jezzy The Butcher

Avast ye Matey! Come on over an' 'ave a seat at me table. I got this round. Barkeep! Serve us some of yer best bilge water fer me friend 'ere. So, Mad L, ye be lookin' fer a crew, do ye? I been ponderin' findin' one, m'self. I got a ship, me poor dead 'usband's ship, the "Black N' Red Dove". She be moored at the pier furthest down. M' crew's been givin' me grief since I sliced off Ol' Blood n' Guts Bill's ear. Well, he be the unlucky soul what killed m' 'usband, ye know. He's lucky he be a dear old uncle t' me, or he'd be chum fer the sharkey's he would. But, m' crew don't seem t' see it that way. They ain't mutinyin' against me, but they do sets t' groanin' about it awful loud. Since we tied up 'ere, I gave 'em all th' choice of stayin' on as me crew, or takin' a walk and findin' other work. If there be anyone what decides to stay on, they best not be givin' any further grief, or it'll be their own ears ahangin' off me belt...or perhaps, better, their tongues. *takes a long swallow and brushes a tear away* Ah, damn! I been drinkin' too much o' this swill. Blast! I loves them ol' mates. Most o' them I grew up knowin' as m' uncles. Now, I might be losin' 'em as me crew. 'Twould be a better thing t' be losin' them jack'n'apes what called themselves me 'usband's crew. Blighters! Oh, I didn't tell ye, I 'ad me own ship at one time, now did I? Mine was ready to sink t' the depths, she was, an' this fancy pants Cap'n fell fer me an' asked me to marry 'im and join our two crews together. I did it, an' now it's been nothin' but whinin' and fightin' aboard the Black n' Red Dove. Even takin' dear Ol' Bill's ear warn't enough t' quiet the lot. I suppose I'll be findin' out soon enough what sorta loyalty there be t' me. Damn! I'm empty again! Barkeep, there be double the coin fer ye if'n ye keeps me goblet filled! Fergive me, Mad L. Now, what was that ye be sayin' about lookin' fer a crew?

Well, bless me soul, if it ain't that sweet lass, Honour Bright! Thank ye ever so much fer invitin' me t' this here pub, Lass. There be good company 'ere! Whadda you'll 'ave in yer cup? Barkeep, whatever the lass wants. I ain't yet made th' acquaintance of Mad Jack, probly 'cause he be bakin' in the kitchen insteada drinkin' in th' pub. Tell 'im ta come on in 'ere and I'll buy 'im a drink. Oh, an' make sure ta tell 'im ta bring some of them cookies with 'im. Good ta see ya, Lass. Come back an' visit us again soon. And, yes, I be seein' ye at BARF, fer certain. Can't wait.

If'n I ever gets out that way, Rue, I'll keep that in mind. It really sticks in m' gut that I got t' be naked at this faire because it be a "Medieval Faire" and there weren't any Pirates in them times. Me thinks somebody needs t' be studyin' their 'istory! Oh well, dressin' in me Stewart tartan is a proud thing I do, so I'll be shuttin' up now. Barkeep, another round here at this here table! Ah, jes keep 'em comin'!

*Raises a flagon in toast* Well, thank ye, McDrago. Nice to be makin' yer acquaintance. Th' rum here be mighty fine. Th' company ain't so bad neither. Do carry on with yer tale, there, Mate. I've known me a sailor er two, m'self. They don't know what t' think when a woman draws a pistol on 'em. Weak as English pesh they be.

Thank ye, Rue. I appreciate that. Have yerself another drink on me! And,here's t' ye!

Aye, Ransom, thank ye fer keepin' me in line here. And, of course, drinks all around!!!! I got plenty of shinies fer fun, ye know. Never enough fer anythin' else, but always fer the Pubmaster and m' friends.

All right, here be m' story....And I'm stickin' to it! You may find m' story to be quite unbelievable, but, bear with me. I was borne to a Pirate...and a Queen! I was named Jezabel Mary Stewart Callis. M' father was John Callis, famed pirate of the English, Welsh and Irish Coasts. Prior to his arrest and imprisonment on charges of piracy, which carried a death sentence, Cap'n Callis was smitten and fell in love with m' mum, Mary, Queen of Scots. 'Tis alleged that they carried on an illicit afair, of which, I am their issue. Mary gave birth to me in secret just prior to her own imprisonment at the hands of her cousin, Queen Elizabeth. After m' mother abdicated her thrown and was imprisoned, m' half-brother, James Stewart, King of Scotland, appealed to Queen Elizabeth for the release of m' father, John Callis. I do not know to this day what relationship James had with John that he felt Elizabeth would hear or consider such a plea. However, it was of great importance that I be spirited far away in order that I should survive the battle for the throne of England. M' dear mother's fate was already sealed, but King James was determined that his "Wee Lass" would not meet with the same end, not while he had any power to prevent it. Whatever power or influence he had over Queen Elizabeth was well founded, as she pardoned m' father and sent him on his way. I heard it said that he had to trade information regarding the movements of other pirates along the English coastline in return for his freedom. This would explain why there were many battles between our ship and other pirate ships. M' father had become an enemy to his peers, as it were, for my sake. No matter the battles and hardships we endured out on the high seas, m' father insisted that I be tutored and well educated. King James had sent with us a tutor of higher learnin' and his wife, a nursemaid, to care for me. M' father, in his younger years had gone to London to learn the trade of bein' a Clothes Merchant, but chose soon after to turn to a life long career of Pyracy. I, of course, learned both the pirate ways and the clothin' trade, and that education has served me well in my life. I owe m' father much respect and honor for he did his best by a small child with help only from my nursemaid, tutor and scurvy crewmen, known ta me as m' uncles. Sadly, when m' father recieved the awful news about m' mother's execution, he lost the glimmer in his eye. He became sullen and sad. He was angry and determined to make England pay, but I believe his heart was so broken that in that same year of 1587, during one of the fiercest confrontations of his career, he did not protect himself as well as he usually had, and he allowed himself to be killed by his enemy. He did not have the desire to continue breathing knowing his one true love no longer existed in this world. One of his loyal crew members, Blood-N-Guts Bill, known to me as "Uncle Bill", maneuvered the ship away from the fight, in order to keep the Cap'n of the other ship from knowin' that Cap'n Callis was bleedin' ta death. That knowledge surely would have been the death of us all. I never knew m' mother, but Father always told me what a beautiful and strong woman she was. He said he wished me to grow up to be just like her, but not to allow anyone to rob me of m' freedom. He said I had a true friend in my half-brother, King James VI of Scotland and I could always go to him for anything. After the death of my poor father, I did visit m' brother under a shroud of mystery. He was kind and loving. He was very protective. He knew I was raised in the Pirate ways and asked that as long as he protected me from those who would have my own head, that I would in turn, abstain from plundering along the British coastlines. I didn't know much love from his family, but I understood loyalty and I appreciated what he did for me and m' father, so this was an easy request to honor. I set sail for the New World, and along the way, I met Dusty Jack MacPeaks, fancy-panted Pirate Captain of the "Black and Red Dove". He did woo me and make grand promises, but I only agreed to marry him and be a part of his crew, as m' own ship was nearly ready for the cold depths of Davey Jones Locker. Hey, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do! Unfortunately, m' husband did meet his end on the blade of one of m' own rummed up crew members. M' dear uncle, Blood-n-Guts Bill. He was none too pleased with the joinin' of the two ships' crews, and so did get rummed up quite often. One night, as he was a rantin' and a ravin' and demonstratin' to th' others how he would gut m' husband if he ever got the chance ta, he turned on his heel at a most opportune moment, and did run my unwitting husband clean through, quite by accident, ye know. Of course, that unfortunate deed could not go unpunished, or th' crew'd be seein' a weakness in their new Cap'n. So, no matter m' affection for old Bill, I sliced off 'is ear and hung it from m' knife sheathe. I then had 'im flogged 'til his shirt was glistenin' red with blood. I would have had him keel hauled, but I knew the old sot wouldn't a survived it. I announced that should any man aboard m' ship ever try a mutiny against me, he'd meet the same fate and worse. I suppose I commanded respect and fear from m' crew, as from that moment on, I was known as "Jezzy The Butcher", Pirate Queen. Bein' a Pirate, it wasn't often I could return to m' homeland, but I did visit just once more, when m' brother became the first King James of England. He welcomed me with open arms and lovin' heart, but did warn me that no matter that a Stewart now sat upon the throne of England, m' own life would still be hangin' in the balances among the people, because of m' reputation as a Pirate Queen. He promised me a lifelong pardon as long as I sailed back to the New World and never let our secret be known. I agreed, of course, and now I sail for eternity along the coastal waters of the Americas.

This be m' first post. Just found m' way here at the invite of a fine Wench at the Ft. Myers Port. M' thanks, Honour Bright. I be Jezabel Mary Stewart Callis MacPeaks, otherwise known as Jezzy the Butcher. I'll be obliged to share m' story in another part of this here forum, if ye care to know me better. In "Mundania" I hail from Ohio. I gave up a fine management job at a store in a mall there to go on the road to live the "Faire" life. I've been hauntin' faires for the past few seasons and fell madly in love with the Rennie Life. Bein' a Pyrate is where m' heart is! Imagine how restrained I be feelin' now as I ain't exactly permitted to be a Pyrate at this here Hoggetowne Faire, yet, it's amazin' how many have discovered me true identity. It must be in m' eyes. A PYRATE be a Pyrate, no matter how we be garbed up! Ye can take the Garb off the Pyrate, but ye can't take the Pyrate out of the Garb! Hmmm. That works, right? All right, then, I've posted a pic of m'self which shows me garbed both ways, so if ye see one 'r th' other of those two wenches, it be me, fer sure. Just hail, "Hey, Jezzy!" and I'll respond. It's good ta be here ta share a flagon o' rum with ye's. ~Jezzy