Redbeard

Aaarrgh! Does'ee think we are all savages ere in scotland, that's not all we drinks. In PUBCAT we has a tradition of dinking cocktails, OK so they are mixed in a bucket and served up in pint glasses, acompanied by a pint of heavy and a fish supper, but at least we are a little bit civilised.

Avast ye swabs, Well for us'ere in PUBCAT it just has to be a Saltire, in white on black of course, with a huge grinning skull in the middle, aarrgh!

Arr, ye swabs, Oi'd take a book of cocktail recipes, an open a coctail bar in Port Royal. Oi bet them swabs back in them days would love a change from rum gin an warm beer.

Avast ye Scurvy Swabs, Now let's see if there be any of ye out there as can settle this'ere argument wot we be 'aving amongst our crew. Now one of the filthy dogs in P.U.B.C.A.T., one "One Eyed Black Jake" (ee don't really ave one eye, but ee thinks it gives im more sea cred), wants as his persona the character of a swiss pirate. Now Oi reckon's that'ee just be plain mad, but'ee says as there really was such a thing as a swiss pirate, so do any of ye swabs out there have any evidence to prove either one of us roight ?

Arrr! Well what would'ee expect from a Colony what as was founded by a bunch of po-faced puritanical spoilsports. When it comes to drinking, a true Buccaneer should know his limits and when to stop, and then have the courage to plough on regardless, till'ee be nowt but a gibbering heap in the scuppers. For a true Buccaneer cares for nothing, not even his own worthless life!

Avast there Booga, ye old Swedish seadog! Yes ye do indeed be roight, Oi do be from Scotland, an' so to be me old shipmate "The Nameless One". Well ee came from Germany originally, but we make's Scots of em' all eventually.

Garr! Speaking of flinging bottles at Spaniards, Oi just murdered an arch bishop last weekend. Oi was involved with some filming for a new BBC Scotland programme about religion in scotland. Just to show that Oi be not religiously biased Oi'll be beating up a presbeterian minister this weekend. Aarrgh! it all be in a days work for pirate.

Arrgh!, ye scurvy sea dog, Good to see that someone is awake out there.

Arrgh! Is this a rough pirates drinking den ?, cos if so it certainly don't sound like one, more like a quiet genteel lounge bar in sleepytown. Oi Know's that most of ye swabs will still be in yer hammocks when Oi be on line, but three posts in the last two days!, where is everyone? So come on ye lubbers let's get some pirate banter started, trade insults, start a fight, stick a grenadoe down the landlords britches, let's put some life into this old dump!

Aaarrrgh! Ye scum sucking bilge rat! Call me mad would ye? Oi've had people keel hauled fer less. No doubt ye think's ye sound's all dark and mysterious loike, with the title of "The Nameless one". But Oi know's the truth Oi does, ye were only called that by default, because ye were the only one in the crew who could not think up a suitable pirate name fer yeself. Oi see there's a swab here as wants a baldrick fer his sword, if ye scupper rat goes spreading rumours about yer Captain, (OK, Oi know's Oi aint been elected Captain yet, but Oi've got some mucky photos of the other candidates so's the vote is a forgone conclusion), Oi'll be sending him a brand new baldrick made out of your stinking hide! Damn yer eyes.

Whitehaven, Cumbria, North England 14th-15th June. Avast there ye Bilge Rats! This'ere will be P.U.C.A.T.'s second event, so hopefully we should get it right by then. You swabs in the Colonies should know of Whitehaven, as it is the only part of England that has ever been invaded by America, (even if they were led by a Scotsman), I'll give'ee a tip, if ye come's again bring a box of matches. This is usually quite a big show, three or four tall ships, displays by the Royal navy and US navy, (although they may be busy elsewhere this year), and various re-enactment groups, Pirates, Vikings, Napolionic naval etc: Well worth a visit if ye be on this side of the Ocean.

Avast there ye scurvy dogs! If any of ye swabs be on this side of the ocean, be ye advised that P.U.B.C.A.T. be doing their first ever pirate event. So if ye be in the area come and watch us make fools of ourselves. we have done many re-enactment events in the past but never as pirates. We are planning to have at least 20 people, several black powder users, and at least one cannon. The event will be in Leith docks, near Edinburgh, on the 23rd-26th of May.

Avast there ye scurvy dogs! Oi be Cap'n Redbeard, be ye a warned that there be a new pirate group on the seas. We be P.U.B.C.A.T., formed by the members of "The Earle of loudoun's regemente of foote", (see our website at www.scotwars.com). At present we re-enact a Scottish lowland regiment of Covenanters from the 17th century, (and sometimes Jacobites). But we be fed up with all that po-faced puritanical nonsense, an we be going on the account. So far in this, our first year of piracy we have picked up two events, so wish us all luck, and if any of you swabs ever gets blown over to this side of the ocean feel free to pay us a visit. Oh and P.U.B.C.A.T. stands for: Piratical Union of Buccaneers Corsairs and Associated Trades.

That may be true on a battle field, but most of the time they discard their hats in a Paris street, where some little urchin will make off with it, and sell it to the nearest pawn shop, where the next day some Musketeer will unknowingly purchase his own hat back!

Aaarr! Talking about Musketeers, has anyone seen any of them actually using a musket ? And also why do they always throw their hats away whenever they fight ?, they must have spent all their wages on new hats. Cap'n Redbeard, P.U.B.C.A.T.

Don't want to get yer sword all scratched up ?, what kind of a pirate are ye? A true pirate's sword should be rusty an' coverd wi' blood an' gore. Ye sound's like one of these freshwater swabs who wears clean clothes, an insists on taking a bath at least once a year! But anyway if ye's looking for a good re-enactment blade, ye should try: Armour Class Unit 15, Block 5 New Albion industrial estate Halley Street, Yoker Glasgow, Scotland G13 4JD 0044 141 9512262 The shipping may be a bit expensive for ye swabs in the colonies, but they make excellent re-enactment and sharp swords, and have a good range of 17th and 18th century designs. Also they can make swords to your specifications if you send a photo or a drawing.