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Yersinia Pestis

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Everything posted by Yersinia Pestis

  1. Circle ‘round mates and let me tell you a scary story. Scary, but true. True as the deep blue. Let this be a lesson for ye so that ye do not suffer my fate. There is a company out there in this cyber world call Pirate Mod. Now they claim to be pirate friendly. But they are just pirates of the worst kind. I ordered a framed “Pirate Scroll” from this outfit back on May 31, 2006 as a Father’s Day gift for meself. They immediately billed me Master of Cards and I had no further response from them for two months. After repeated e-mails, they finally responded to tell me that the frames were backordered. I accepted the response as truthful. About two weeks later, in mid-July, I finally received me Pirate Scroll. I had a place of honor already designated for the scroll. I picked up the poorly taped box and heard the familiar tinkling sound of broken glass. I opened the box to find the scroll crumpled and sliced to ribbons by the shards of broken glass of the framed pirate scroll. I immediately called Pirate Mod only to get their voice mail. I e-mailed them so that they would have the details before them. I explained to them the problem and even offered to send it back. I advised them that the frame was in good shape, I even offered to replace the glass meself to avoid another catastrophe, just please send me the scroll. Pirate Mod, however, does not respond to customer inquiries. A week later they finally responded. “No problem” they said. “We trust you.” “We will send you another.” “We will even send you a T-shirt at no charge.” Soooo, I bought a new glass at my expense at local craft shop for $45.00, placed it in the frame and I hanged the empty frame on the wall, eagerly anticipating my Father’s Day Pirate Scroll. That was the last time I heard from them. Well, six months after the original order and being billed $85.00 for the item and four months since being told they would ship the replacement to me, I have not yet received the Pirate Scroll or the free T-Shirt as compensation for my troubles. What has added insult to injury, is that they refuse to respond to my inquiries. I e-mail them daily now, and they have yet to either respond to my inquiries or send my replacement scroll. Caveat emptor me fellow pirates. Caveat emptor. This company is not trustworthy.
  2. Many thanks to your warm greetings Red Cat, Crazy, Ms. Tar, Silkie and RumbaRue! For some reason I have always been able to make friends with the ladies. But I think with such fine ladies about, I would be wasting our time talking about me conquests. Silkie, I have always had a soft, warm spot in me heart for a Celtic lass. RumbaRue, why would you laugh at me name? I am only the plague of the seven seas. Alas, you have nothing to fear from me, on the contrary, me thinks I should fear what you ladies may do to me. More drinks! I have more gold in me other pockets!
  3. It is a dark, gloomy night and the soft light of a distant lantern beckons me. As I approach the pub I hear the ribald voices of the pirates, privateers, rogues and slatternly wenches within. Entering the pub, my eyes dance around the room, surveying the patrons in order to determine if the husbands of my conquests are present. Deciding that I will not die tonight by the blade of a jealous husband, I approach the bar and shout out, “Tavernkeep, I have a bag full of gold and my throat is dry. Bring me rum and drinks for all!”
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