Red Sea Trade

Glad I'm not alone in being disappointed. Several things stuck out at me right away (and I went to see it with lashings of dark rum in my gullet): 1. If it's good once, let's beat it to death. For example, "Why have just one big circular thing rolling down a hillside with people inside when we can have TWO DIFFERENT big circular things roll down TWO DIFFERENT hillsides with people inside them". And how about "If big, computer-generated tentacles were scary once, they'll be just as scary the next few times, after the audience knows exactly what to expect..." 2. Keira Knightly is a pretty little thing, but why must she be a whirling cuisinart of death in every one of her films? She is the size of an 8 year old boy, yet she kills more natives than smallpox or bad whiskey. I didn't see her in her recent Jane Austen film, but I assume that she hacked all of her suitors to death with a Stilton spreader. 3. Does anyone else find his or her flesh crawling when multi-bazillionaires use their films to lecture us that the REAL villains are big corporations? Who releases Jerry Bruckheimer's films, a small mom-and-pop co-op? Find another villain. How about the Spaniards? Nobody has picked on them in quite a while. Well, this won't be a popular viewpoint, but pirates never crave popularity.

I live in the Sunny South, where beeswax plus anything would equal a permanently soggy chapeau. I have treated my felt hats with a mixture of shellac (1 part white, 3lb. cut) and denatured alcohol (2 parts). Brush on, let it soak in, then repeat on both sides until you have the desired degree of saturation. It dries nicely, plus it helps maintain the shape of the hat over the long run. Just a thought.

I found a cache of original 17th and 18th century coins at a small coin shop in Oyster Bay, NY. There were British farthings and half-pennies, small Spanish silver coins, German pfennigs and some odd Swedish coins from the 1670's. There were even some coins issued by the Vatican in the early 18th century. Condition ranged from barely legible to quite good. Average price: $1.50 per coin. Cheaper than replicas, and a whole lot more interesting! I now search through every tray of stray coins I come across. Hey, it doesn't hurt to try!

Not particularly a "pirate" beverage, but this is a delicious 18th century beverage, well suited to tropical climes: Fish House Punch 1 Part Rum 1 Part Brandy (Peach Brandy is period correct and delicious, but any type will do) Juice of 1/2 lemon 1 Part pineapple juice Sugar to taste Shake well and serve over ice. Recline, enjoy and repeat as necessary...

I have done a good bit of period singing, and there are a few fun, period-correct songs that never fail to entertain and delight. These tunes have several things to recommend them: They are fairly easy to sing, they aren't stale and nobody else in town will be singing them. "The Downfall of Piracy" (lyrics by Benjamin Franklin--yes, THAT Benjamin Franklin). A lively version of Blackbeard's defeat and demise. "Down Among The Deadmen". Not specifically a pirate tune, but it sounds like it should be. Circa 1705, so the period is perfect. "Fathom The Bowl". An outstanding nautical drinking song. A great sing-along for the crowd. Hope this helps. I would love to make it to PIP, but I have a previous engagement in St. Augustine.

I'm in Melbourne, just down the coast.

Anyone on the Space or Treasure (God, how I love that word!) Coasts of Central Florida is invited to a Piratical Premiere of PotC2 at the Oaks Cinema, Melbourne, Florida. The event will begin at 10:30 pm on Thursday, July 6th with the film starting at 12:01. Prize for best costume and all profits to benefit local charities. For more information contact me at CAS298@aol.com

I can recommend a few of my favorites. Most are available used, some of them for just a few dollars on Amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com (my most recent shopping trip netted me 6 classic pirate paperbacks, average price under $3). Donald Barr Chidsey wrote many good books. I especially enjoyed "Buccaneer's Blade", "Marooned" and "Captain Bashful", but there are many others. A classic from the 1920's is "The Rogue's Moon" by Robert W. Chambers. Try to find the illustrated version. A more recent book, available from most larger bookstore chains, is called "The Guardship", but I cannot remember the author's name. Anything by Rafael Sabatini, but especially "Captain Blood" and "The Black Swan". Good hunting!