Morgan La Scylla

Ah! Pirate Tales! I do so enjoy the stories as well as the great artwork! Thanks for the reminder Black Dianae. I'll have to get out me old issues and read them again!

My avatar was created with Poser 5. My colors were created with Photoshop 7 and animated with Pegtop.

Aye, there be a couple of versions of Barnacle Bill. Since this forum is readable by all, I'll post the links to some of the naughty versions. Enjoy! Naughty Barnacle Bill Lyrics Not As Naughty Barnacle Bill Lyrics

Glad I could give ye a chuckle! Weebl and Bob have some funny stuff on it. You should bookmark the page and check back frequently!

Insult from Pirates: People run away when they see me coming. Insult from Swordmaster: My wicest enemies run away at the first sight of me. Comeback for both: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

Insult from Pirates: There are no words for how disgusting you are. Insult from Swordmaster: There are no clever moves that can help you now. Comeback for both: Yes there are. You just never learned them.

Insult from Pirates: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle. Insult from Swordmaster: My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood. Comeback for both: I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.

Insult from Pirates: I once owned a dog that was smarter than you. Insult from Swordmaster: Only once have I met such a coward. Comeback for both: He must have taught you everything you know.

Insult from Pirates: You have the manners of a beggar. Insult from Swordmaster: Every word you say to me is stupid. Comeback for both: I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.

Insult from Pirates: I've spoken with apes more polite than you. Insult from Swordmaster: Now I know what filth and stupidity really are. Comeback for both: I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

Insult from Pirates: I'm not gonna take your insolence sitting down! Insult from Swordmaster: You are a pain in the backside, sir! Comeback for both: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

Insult from Pirates: You're no match for my brains, you poor fool. Insult from Swordmaster: I got the courage and skill of a master swordsman! Comeback for both: I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

Insult from Pirates: I've heard you are a contemptible sneak. Insult from Swordmaster: My sword is famous all over the Carribean. Comeback for both: Too bad noone's ever heard of you at all.

Insult from Pirates: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? Insult from Swordmaster: I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape. Comeback for both: Why? Did you want to borrow one?

Insult from Pirates: You fight like a dairy farmer. Insult from Swordmaster: I will milk every drop of blood out of your body. Comeback for both: How appropriate, you fight like a cow!

Insult from Pirates: Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will! Insult from Swordmaster: No one will ever catch ME fighting as bad as you do. Comeback for both: You run THAT fast?

Insult from Pirates: You make me want to puke. Insult from Swordmaster: If your brother's like you better to marry a pig. Comeback for both: You make me think somebody's already did.

Insult from Pirates: Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kebab! Insult from Swordmaster: My tongue is sharper than any sword. Comeback for both: First you better stop waving it like a feather duster.

Insult from Pirates: This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur! Insult from Swordmaster: I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today. Comeback for both: And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?

You've seen it in films, you've used it diring re enactments. Lets hear some of your snappy reparte!

Take a gander here for a rib tickler: Weebl and Bob

Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates. Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.'' All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.''

So there's this Pirate, marooned on his homestead with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor - I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a madam blush. At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very... very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my very best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did that chicken do?"

One day an old pirate gets on a sailboat. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old pirate keeps staring at him. The kid looks at him and says, "What you staring at old man, ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" The old pirate replies, "Yeah, I screwed a parrot once. I was just wondering if you were my kid?"

A young pirate was marooned on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years, even that became so monotonous that he couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without any happiness, he started to lose his sanity. One morning, as he was lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a ship in the distance. He quickly starts a fire, then throws wet seaweed on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The ship starts to come his way! He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be saved! The first thing I want is to take a long, hot bath. Then they're going to give me some clothes and I'm going to have a nice dinner. I will find a wench and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She'll start to take off her clothes and she'll be wearing red silk panties!" At this, he starts to get an erection. He slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha Ha Ha!! I lied about the ship!!