Two (very) bad jokes for you, possibly more to the UK Markey but here goes!
Two Irishmen have taken a Safari holiday in Africa and are walking down the bank of a river taking in the sights. Ahead of them in the path is a crocodile who, has just eaten a man. All you can see is the mans head sticking out of the crocodiles mouth. As the two Irishmen approach this site. One turns to the other and says "Eh Paddy, will you look at that flash bloke in his Lacoste sleeping bag".
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are in a train compartment together and get talking to one another. The English man introduces himself "My name is George, I was born on St Georges day, so my parents named me after him"
"What a coinsdence, says the Scotsman. My name is Andrew, named after ST Andrew as I was born on his saints day"
The english man turned to the Irishman and asked "so what is your name?"
"Pancake" came the reply.
They are not the best jokes in the world but they made me laugh. An they are clean
TTFN
Thorn