argh, Phil, I could REALLY be usin yer assistance right about now fer a whole ceremony. I've got about 14 hours before a wedding, and I found out about 12 hours ago that I'm ta be the pyrate officiant.
As I'm muddlin me way thru this, I may be usin some of yer words, at least as inspiration.
If ye see this anytime soon, and have any good ideas, I'd be most grateful, doncha know?