Cap'n Pete Straw

I subscribe to the local (Illinois/Wisconsin border) Renaissance Faire e-newsletter, and just received this anouncement concerning planned events: "The summer of 2006 is not to be missed as the Bristol Renaissance Faire celebrates its 19th season in high seas fashion with all things nautical. Sea dogs and pirate wenches make ready as the Dreadnought, a 100-foot, triple masted privateering ship, sails for Bristol's port. Landlubbers and seafarers alike, now is the time to set your inner pirate free." Good enough for me! You can get details, maps, etc., etc. here.

I hope they do a follow-up sketch this time featuring actress Teri GARR !!!

My wife made this up in the car on the way home, and was so proud to rush home and tell me, hoping that no one posted this one before (someone HAS probably already thought of this)... Where do pirates get their coffee? At Ahhrrr-Bucks!

Hah! My full-size puffy shirt finally arrived! Excellent! It's Christmas all over again! ...now to finish that coat so I have something to wear it with...

Actually, most pirates put their powder and ball into their pistols. They found these things to be rather useful when put in there.

Whale tail

skid marks

fingerprints

6" shirt fits 9" pirate. The puffy "woman's type of sleeve" is exactly why it was so reviled on that Seinfeld episode. I have been trying to find the shirt (the 6" one) on eBay, without having to pay for the whole freaking season of DVDs... You can get a framed collectable one, but not at a good price...

Groping

Following my love of black powder weapons, and my son's happenstance coincidental (serendipidous?) love of All Things Pirate, I was looking on the internet for some information on flintlocks. At the time I did not own any, and was in the market. Google brought up a Black Poweder Flintlock thread under "Plunder" on this site. I explored around a bit, and got hooked. The area of "Pirates" has always been an interest of mine, and I have been colecting/creating 17th and 18th centruy gear for quite a long while, but it's when I found all of YOU people that it all came together.... ... I realized that if I was insane, there were many other insane people out there with whom I could commandeer a ship and take to the seas.

Steamed-up windows

Clam shell

...page 23: "In 1565, the Sultan of Turkey laid siege to the Island of Malta. 9,000 knights defended against the larger Turkish force (40,000 men and 180 ships). Suffering heavy losses in many bloody battles, the Turks finally withdrew, in the mistaken belief that a larger army was on its way to reinforce the knights..." Some amazing stories arose from the siege... including the Sultan's barrage (by catapult) of the decapitated heads of captured prisoners into the Maltese forts. Jerk.

AWESONE!! I did not even notice that until you pointed it out. Cool. I want one of those, too.

I have cats. And life would be miserable without them. Cats are like women... great to cuddle up with -- but they have a mind of their own. They can be fickle, and refuse to give up their independence. They act like they can do without you, but shower you with great affection when you can get their undivided attention.

Potawatamee (Sorry--that's a REAL Indian word, but it's the first thing that came to mind)

You interpreted the statements correctly (especially since I cannot figure out any OTHER way to interpret them). But, if you please, back to the Puffy Shirt for just one minute ... My son gave me one for Xmas. I don't have it yet, as International Male is out of stock... I got a home-made printed coupon from him, and am awaiting delivery. I'll give you details when it arrives. My nine-inch pirate is simply quivering with excitement. (I wonder what the hell THAT means?) Okay Callenish and Kendra... back to you guys.

After decades of trial and error, I found what has to be the easiest method ever. Pour yourself a cup of tea. While you enjoy your delicious Earl Grey, take out the teabag, still sopping wet (and maybe no longer piping hot) and use it as a paintbrush over your document. When the bag is pretty dry, dip it back into your cup for a quick refresh and repeat. Flip the document and do the back. Lay a wet sheet onto a dry one for an interesting pattern transfer, and then homogenize the results on both with another teabag after they have dried. So easy. Relatively no mess and no fuss. Plus you get to enjoy some really good tea. And you do not need to brew gallons of the stuff, or deal with huge liquid-laden pieces of paper (which tend to rip under their own weight). The applicator-teabag gives you great control over degree of staining, and you can make it darker with additional applications. As I have needed to produce (literally) many thousands of "antiqued" documents, I cannot imagine a better method. My work area is 11x17" (I typically create legal-sized documents, and they can be stacked wet/dry/wet/dry atop each other), and I only need a hot water source, cup, supply of tea, artwork, and a garbage can.

I got lots o' swag... but I am only going to list the pirate-related items here... DVD: "Captain Blood" starring Errol Flynn (watched it this morning before anyone else woke up. What an EXCELLENT movie! Now if I can somehow convince my kids into watching a 70-year-old film...) Pirate rapier (Thanks Dad!) The very piratey "Puffy Shirt" (from Seinfeld... see separate topic thread) -- I don't have it yet, as International Male is out of stock... I got a home-made printed coupon from my son, and am awaiting delivery. Also got a digital camera and photo printer and 7 Marx Brothers movies on DVD and a Warhammer 40K starter set and some more DVDs and books... but none of that is pyratical, so I won't bore you.

Peanuts

Best damned pasta sauce I ever made. Unbelievable. Everything came out perfect, and I hardly tried. Oh, washed it down with a Guinness... time for another.

Listening to "Jaws 2" on the telly. When I step away from this keyboard, I am switching it back to "Robocop 2"

Forgot one: I am known as "Clint" to a very large group of country line dancers. And I was asked my REAL name today by a young woman who (I kid you not... especially after my last post in this thread) said to me: " I only know you as 'Guinness Guy' "

Oddly (having downed 5 pints of Guinness over the past 3 1/2 hours) .. I noticed that when I am drunk... and at home... I tend to get on teh Pyracy.com site and leave a bunch of drunken ramblings... odd, ain't it? Oh, wehen I am drunk,. my spelling sucks.