In response to comments by the one who is known as Iron John, I am His Ugliness Finbar the Terrible of Cayo Hueso, commander of the pirate schooner WOLF and I take it as an abject insult to me and my crew to be referred to as ‘Civilians’ just because we did not ‘camp out’ at the Fort.
I also serve as Admiral of the Conch Republic Military and as Supreme Commander of Conch Republic Military Forces, and as such, my duties have included a number of Missions of Mercy to our fellow islanders following various natural disasters, such as hurricanes and earthquakes – some of which were quite dangerous in nature. My forces have also done battle with the United States Coast Guard and proudly defend our Republic, from Key to shining Key. I am also an active merchant marine officer and have served with the US Coast Guard.
My shipmates and I, including my honorable wife, Blossom the Bad Ass, are also responsible for producing the Pirates in Paradise Festival and its many signature community events that make up the 10 day maritime historic celebration. Perhaps you are unaware that PIP was created to showcase Key West’s Rich and Colorful Maritime Heritage and designed to draw visitors to the island who wish to spend money in the community and frequent our island’s many unique historic venues, in addition to Fort Taylor.
The Pirates in Paradise Festival’s Literature and the Sea Maritime Retreat (going on its 12th year) has brought some of the most renowned authors and historians on piracy to the island, including David Cordingly, Sandra Riley and Angus Konstam.(and every year we are fortunate to welcome back Don Maitz, Janny Wurr, Robert Macomber, Christine and Michael Lampe and others to share their knowledge with historical presentations.) To call them “CIVILIANS” is an insult to each.
The Festival’s annual End of Hurricane Season Party and Conch Republic Military Key West Maritime Holiday Extravaganza (always on November 30) is most certainly not a ‘CIVILIAN’ event, as attendees include members of the United States and Conch Republic Military High Command and many of PIP Festival historic re-enactors, including Cascabel, Braze, Diosa, and our local favorites Deadeye, Leatherback and Scarlet.
To call them “CIVILIANS” is an insult.
Yes, our Most Buxom Wench & Bad Ass Pirate Contest, Pyrates of the Coast Walk the Plank National Championships(Klaus from Pirate’s Magazine, was this year’s winner), El Meson de Pepe’s Caribbean Pirates Dinner and Kelly’s Caribbean Literature and the Sea Luncheon encourage the public to join our historic re-enactors in the fun. But then, that is the purpose of the Pirates in Paradise Festival, as we encourage our re-enactors and pirate performers to interact with the public throughout the island, and not hole themselves up inside the Fort, never going anywhere.
This year we were glad to bring the Festival’s Village Thieves’ Market to the Truman Waterfront Commons and welcome back many of our vendors who had been turned away the past six years at the Fort as their ware’s did not fit the period. Perhaps you weren’t aware of it, as you never left the Fort, but many of our vendors set up at the Truman Waterfront were period artists and craftsmen and to call them “CIVILIANS” is an insult to their craft.
And you call us Civilians! Shame on your ass.
His Ugliness, Admiral Finbar
