The Limerick Lounge

[The Doctor]

There once was man named McSweeny

who spill't gin upon his weenie.

He thought it uncouth,

so he poured on vermouth,

and slip't his young wife a martini.

[PirateSSe]

There once was a man from Peru,

who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke with a fright

in the middle of the night,

to find that his dream had come true.

[Christine]

There once a man from Nantucket,

whose.......

Okay, you all know that one-LOL!

But how about this:

There once was a pirate

Who liked to go dancing on roller skates

He fell on his cutlass

Which rendered him nutless

And virtually useless on dates

[PirateSSe]

There once was a man from Nantucket

who carried his trash in a bucket.

He then set it down,

took a look around

and decided to just chuck it.

[The Doctor]

This charming young woman I knew

was napping one day in the pew.

The preacher yelled "Sin!"

She cried "Count me in,

just as soon as this damned sermon's through!"

[PirateSSe]

I was so damn horny

I cried, "Just adore me!"

We rolled in the hay

and I just had to say,

"Damn, man, it's too much when you board me!"

[The Doctor]

There was a young woman named Kate.

The size of her bosoms was great!

Or, so we thought,

until the left one got caught

on a nail, and began to deflate!

[PirateSSe]

There really's no way around it

A dog is no frog, nor grog.

But once it is found,

'twill quickly astound,

'tis surely one hoppin' drunk hound.

[The Doctor]

A charming young woman, so fair,

felt faint for the want of some air!

A young man, he braced her

and quickly unlaced her

from there, all the way down to THERE!

[The Doctor]

On the chest of a barmaid named Gail

were tattooed all the prices for ale.

And just to be kind,

for the sake of the blind,

on her rear they were printed in braille.

[PirateSSe]

Mary had a little lamb,

and some spam,

full of ham.

Mary went and soiled her pram,

Oh, the silly thing I am.