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10 signs you're watching a bad pirate movie


jim hawkins

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Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Pirate Movie

10. Stars Johnny Depp's half-brother Kenny Depp

9. Most of the action takes place at a Long John Silver's in Harrisburg

8. It's two hours of Blackbeard and Redbeard checking each other for ticks

7. Only piracy is the illegal distribution of Boz Scaggs concert bootlegs

6. The lead pirate's catchphrase: "Arrrrrrt Garfunkel!"

5. The only pillaging is the six dollars the theater charges for popcorn, am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

4. The parrot keeps saying, "This movie sucks"

3. Pirates stumble around because they wear two eyepatches

2. In climax, ship gets blown out of water by defective North Korean missile

1. Hero is incapacitated after getting his swash caught in his buckle

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5. The only pillaging is the six dollars the theater charges for popcorn, am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

AMEN! :ph34r:

3. Pirates stumble around because they wear two eyepatches

That was in a Spongebob Squarepants episode. "Look! I'm Blindbeard the Pirate". :ph34r:

hook_banner2.jpg

Captain, we always knew you were a whoopsie.

Rumors of my death are entirely premature.

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22. The women's costumes make them all look like Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke.

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

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24. the pyrate flag bears a smiley face

~snow :D

with faith, trust and pixiedust, everything is possible ;)

if it be tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

IWG #3057 - Local 9

emmf steel rose player - bella donna, 2005

improv cast member and dance instructor - fort tryon medieval festival

lady neige - midsummer renaissance faire

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  • 3 weeks later...

When the ships tack to starboard or larboard, you hear the sound of screeching brakes.

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

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1) The number of masts on the ship keep changing.

2) "Wasn't that island on the right side?..." "what island?"

3) The word barnacle is used waaay too much.

4) William Shatner is IN the movie.

5) The captain is wearing pleather boots.

6) The music from Spongebob would make a more believable soundtrack.

7) You swear the leading man shorted you for change at Long John Silvers last month.

9) Gilligan appears anywhere

:huh::huh::huh::huh::huh:

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

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Rush limbaugh appears as an extra :wub:

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

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the ocean shots are all taken from land

during rough weather shots, the crew are thrown from port to starbord but none of them are heading the same direction

the hold of the ship is a well lit, dry, comfortable little area

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Despite the storm and the fighting, everyone stays remarkably clean B)

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help....

Her reputation was her livelihood.

I'm a pirate, love. By nature and by choice!

My inner voice sometimes has an accent!

My wont? A delicious rip in time...

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  • 3 weeks later...
Mad_Jack Posted on Oct 13 2006, 12:48 PM

  All the female cast members look like they were dressed by "Frederick's of Hollywood." 

No Jack, the topic is " 10 signs you're watching a "BAD" pirate movie"

I'd buy the one yer talking about!!!!! :blink:

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