Jib Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I knew we would see a run of pirate related movies in the wake of POTC2. Was I surprised to find this little gem. Pirates is a movie made by some person who goes by the name "Joone" and is listed as a photographer and film maker. Most of the featured women of the movie have the look of the adult industry about them. I found the movie kinda funny and the effects weren't bad. If you have a bunch of adult friends in port and want something fun to go with the rum and aren't looking for "art"this movie might do the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaRed Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 That's funny! On this week's episode of Entourage, the guys hit up an adult store and there is a poster for this movie on the wall when they walk in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capn_Enigma Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Firstly, the movie is not softcore but hardcore, and it's already been released over a year ago in the wake of POTC1, so this is a bit of old news. The special effect shots (amongst other shots ) are nice, though. Here is the movie's site. "The floggings will continue until morale improves!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Beachem Quick Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I pirated my copy off the internet about five months ago PM if you want it. Sir Beachem Quick, Captain of the . . . . . . a small but dangerous crew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillip Black Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Amazon is selling an "R" rated version of PiratesXXX...see here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FMGTN...&v=glance&n=130 Apparently, the R rated version is half the price of the full un-edited version...oh brother. Yeah, Bit-Torrent is a pirates best friend... Sea Captain: Yar, that be handsome pete, he dances on the pier for nickels! Sea Captain: Arrr... you gave him a quarter, he'll be dancin all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumba Rue Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 You found it at Blockbuster? Ok, that's it, I've got a Blockbuster right around the block....I've got to rent this thing.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jib Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 A couple of times it looked like they hired festies or pirates of our style to be extras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I watched the "other" version (wink, wink!), and it was interesting... Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Firstly, the movie is not softcore but hardcore, and it's already been released over a year ago in the wake of POTC1, so this is a bit of old news. Er, Yes and No... The movie was released over a year ago (and there was at least one other topic thread on it here in the Pub somewhere), but both hardcore (XXX) and (edited) softcore versions have been released separately. But I admit to waiting quite a long time before jumping on the bandwagon for this one.... I bided my time.... and I finally picked up a primo (3 disc set!) copy of the movie for a fraction of the full price. A full disc of bonus extras includes outtakes (basically people flubbing their lines and then dropping an F-bomb) and very boring audition reels (extremely non-eventful for what one might expect concerning the XXX movie). The third disc is an HD version of the full movie. I found the CGI effects of the ships and other effects to be extremely sub-par (they appear to have been pulled directly from a video game). But I presume they didn't have the budget to spend on full-size wooden ships ... or even realistic miniatures -- so they did what they could with what they had. Given the same resources, I might have done the same. Spend all your money on the big-name porn stars. While the "Adult" aspect of the movie was quite well-done state-of-the-art action, it was rather distracting trying to believe, even for a fraction of a moment, that female pirates of the early 1700s (I forget the exact year the movie is set in) engaged in that degree of personal hair removal, or had such access to silicone body enhancement. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Jim Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 "Pardon me, madam, but are those period-correct breasts? No? Well you'll just have to cover those so that we can maintain our standards of authenticity here." Or not... My occupational hazard bein' my occupation's just not around... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jib Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 The version I rented at Blockbuster was the edited "R" version. I found it fun but I do agree, lots of fake boobs and blond strippers. Jesse Jayne was not my idea image of a pirate woman. Too much eye make up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capn_Enigma Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Too much eye make up. Better don't tell that Johnny Depp! "The floggings will continue until morale improves!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Matt Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 The version I rented at Blockbuster was the edited "R" version. I found it fun but I do agree, lots of fake boobs and blond strippers. Jesse Jayne was not my idea image of a pirate woman. Too much eye make up. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnd what the hell else did you think you were gonna find in that thing? Did you NOT look at the cover? You will be flogged. And God willing, come morning, you will be flogged some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jib Posted July 23, 2006 Author Share Posted July 23, 2006 Dark haired, dark eyed Spanish maidens with tanned skin and big fake boobs. I married a blond, that fantasy is filled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Wait... I said it was distracting. Did that imply criticism? Entertainment versus historical accuracy. Hmmmm.. I will probably opt for entertainment value almost every time. For example, I found "Pirates" to be way more entertaining than the Hallmark "Blackbeard" movie. ...Perhaps more historically accurate, too... I married a blond, that fantasy is filled. Oh, I keep writing and deleting comments here in response to that sentence, and all I am left with is this non-funny and uninformative statement. I guess the only PG-13 thing I can say is that "Pirate Porn" was the only fantasy I had left to fulfill. And don't even ask me about "Planet of the Apes" porn, 'cuz I got that one covereed already. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TabithaAnne Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Wow, so many things have gone on here since the last time I read all the threads.....wooo.....so much to catch up on. Yes, the extras are from Port of the Black Sail a group out of the San Fernando Valley. (Most of them are my friends) and this was the first ever hard core porn turned into a soft core porn for mass distribution from what I hear. Digital Playground had such a huge success on the hard core version that they released the soft core version.....yes.....the day before POTC 2 came out. Men are like a deck of cards - You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to beat them and a spade to bury the bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Jack Daniels Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 WOW! I can't believe me eyes. Cap'n Pete Straw is anal-ising a porno. Sir, do you not understand that this is a PORNO, not a full feature movie for the masses? Yes it is going to be fake, the only thing that is not fake is the sex itself. I am sure that this was not made with keeping to the period and making sure that all the woman had as much body hair as possible. Nor do I really think they were worried about the fake boobs. I am saying this as nicely as possible sir...get real already! Sit down, watch it, take ya' mast in hand and have a good time. I fear not heaven nor hell....for the sea shall judge me!! Captain J. Daniels Better to be hated for who you are.......than loved for who you are not CaptainJackDaniels@pyracy.com Black Pearl Leather & Finery My Webpage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 Sir, do you not understand that this is a PORNO, not a full feature movie for the masses? Yes, yes, I know. And as far as this genre goes, it is far better than most titles. And if you are a Pirate movie fan, and want to see Pirate porn, it's your best bet. One more thing -- I was with my 14-year-old son yesterday in Blockbuster, and came across this very familiar cover artwork. My son said "Dad! Look! Here's a pirate movie with hot women! We should TOTALLY rent this one!" Oh, dear. It took me a bit to distract him to other titles. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumba Rue Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 LMAF! Ah the brillance of children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hester Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Amazon sells it: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B000FMGTNU...&s=dvd&v=glance ...and it will arrive in a plain brown wrapper looking just like some scholarly tome. The postman will never twig. Cheers, Hester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumba Rue Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 I think I'd just rather rent it. Will have to check at the video store that sells the porno stuff nearby- they have everything in their back room. Pretty sure they'd have the X-rated version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hester Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 BTW: Does it have any plot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Pete Straw Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 BTW: Does it have any plot? Yes it has a plot. And I imagine in the "AHRRR" rated version it is easier to follow the plot without all those pesky sex scenes. ... Just don't ask me what the plot was... I simply fast-forwarded the entire movie to see how it was done (costumes, effects, etc.), and get an understanding of what it was all about. Then I watched some of the (boring!!!) DVD extras. I still need to sit down and watch the whole thing. "He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do... "He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PirateSSe Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 A question~ any lesbionic scenes? Utter turn off! I want my MEN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Hand Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Isn't that just "Conquest" only re-named ? I had a lady friend that had a copy.... kinda invited myself over to watch it.... If I remember correctly... it was a fun movie..... even ignoring the porn parts..... Hey... am I the only one that watches a porn move to look at the costumes..... dang... too wierd...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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