How Long Does It Take?

[Rummy3]

I believe there can be a soul mate - and that I can totally love. Does anyone out there have a thought on this?

Edited January 26, 2006 by Rummy3

[Tudor MercWench Smith]

Let me start by saying, I was the one who voted for you know the one when you see them.

But that being said, lemme explain. I really don't think that there is just ONE person in the world for you. I believe that you choose the one you are supposed to be with. So, there is ONE soul mate - but you have to decide. Because, you don't just have one destiny in life. I think, in life that there are many places that you could live, many diffrent jobs, diffrent fates. And not one is better then the other. Like, I could go move to Ireland, become a historian. Or I could go on the road with RenFaires, and make/sell garb for the rest of my life. Or maybe just get married and live happily ever after as a suburban house wife. At least for me, all these would be awesome, and I'd be happy doing all of them. And likewise attached to all these potential life, there is the ONE. Only ONE. now there is a diffrent one per life, but there is a soul mate that you will spend your life with.

And I have met 2 potentials. I just have to decide what life I want first.

[Ransom]

YES, YES, YES, you can have a soul mate. And, if you're like me, it may take a second marriage and being in your late 30's to find him. But, trust me, its worth the wait. I never thought I'd be lucky in that way, but just when my whole life seemed headed down the toilet, I met Robert. We've been married 15 years and still hold hands when we watch TV at night alone on the couch—well, except for the four cats.

It's a big risk to give with your whole heart, but sometimes that's what it takes, so the other person knows they can give with theirs. Be best friends first, then lovers—then you'll know if he's "the one."

Don't give up, and don't settle for something less if it doesn't make you happy.

[Bonnie Red Weasel]

This is a fascinating question, and the answers so far have been equally interesting. I wasn't sure what to enter on the poll, because my feelings and opinions lie somewhere in between.

As far as "love at first sight" goes, all I can say for certain is that I've never experienced this. And I seriously doubt it exists, simply because women (in general) are so much less visually oriented than men. But then, there are many things about the powers of the heart and mind that I do not even pretend to understand.

I guess I do believe that "I'll know it when it happens," but then, that would only be after an awful lot of time and consideration. For better or worse, I've been trained to not be especially trusting of people, regardless of how wonderful they appear.

I used to believe that each person had a soul mate. Then I lost that belief for a long time. Now, I've come to realize that there is a "one" for me. But life does not always deliver your one to you. It's not necessarily that easy.

[Pirate Petee]

There is definatlly more than one "The One", the worlds an awfully big place.

[lady snow]

after being married 4 times - 2 the 'ones' and two jerks - i know that there are true soulmates out there if your heart is open to it. if you 've really been hurt and can't trust, then it may not be so for you, but i can't exclude a whole species cause of the actions of a few bad apples. it just take a little longer to trust the next time.

[Red-Handed Jill]

I'm also a believer that there is more than one person who can be "the one" so to speak. There are degrees to everything, but there's definitely a point where you just know that a person is IT for you. And I used to get so frustrated with my friends who told me, "you'll just KNOW" until it happened to me. It's true - you just know; there's no other way I can think of to describe it.

[Rumba Rue]

Duh me, when I saw the title, How long does it take? I sure did think of something else....mind in the gutter as always...

[HarborMaster]

I had to choose " There are too many "The Ones" to choose from!"

Because there are alot of people out there (Too many to choose from) too many wrong ONES that people choose for the WRONG reasons.

But I believe there is someone with whom I can be happy and provide some degree of happiness for them .

Making a life worth living is really the first part of being really content anyway.

Do Well For Yourself., And Everything Else Good is Bound To Follow

I could be with my probable soul mate and still have a crappy life if my job.,income.,weight., ect.,ect., sucked well then I couldnt really be happy no matter who I was with could I ?

I think it all begins with YOU then from there once you have acheived a sence of self esteem and personal happiness you could then with a more clear head.,find another like minded individual .,probably resulting in a more satisfactory and content marriage.

MercenaryWench You are wise beyond your years. Stay single a while.,take your time and choose wisely.,I could not have said what you said as well as you said it, but you said exactly what I wanted to say. Did I say that right ? There I said it

[Barbados Sam]

I agree that there can be many "ones", but it really comes down to timing and which "one" crosses your path at the right time. If you find someone that "could" be the one, you should invest time into that person because to lose one because you want to wait and see if there is a better one out there is all too often a sad and regretfull mistake.....

[Red-Handed Jill]

So true... timing is everything.

[Hawkyns]

Well, I guess I've got a different take on this. My mate and I have been married 30 years in September, more than just about any of our circle of friends and aquaintances. For about 25 of those years, we've been polyamourous. It is my opinion that being poly is what has kept us together. I think it's just too much of a burden to put on any one person that they are now your 'everything' for the rest of your lives. Different people can supply different needs.

Also, we are humans. We are sexual animals, fairly unique in the animal kingdom in that we don't have a specific season for sex but we are ready all the time. Most of the couples that I know that have broken up have done so because of cheating. Accepting and acknowledging the fact that eventually, we will wish to try someone different, and keeping it out in the open, eliminates all those ugly cheating moments. We have rules, certainly, and we discuss new partners first, but knowing that we don't have to sneak about, removes a huge amount of stress and tension from the relationship.

Hawkyns

[William Brand]

I knew she was perfect the moment I met her.

She still is.

[Kendra The Sea Maid]

I said it before, there is "the one" I know am a fish out of water here. Fall in love with yourself (and I don't mean in a conceaded way) Get to really know yourself flaws and all. I know that is not easy, but the more you love and accept yourself, more love and acceptance you will have for the other person. Keep your eyes open, and enjoy the journey till you find one another Look at what is inside a person, now I understand there is attraction, but there is more to a person than good looks. A soulmate (to me) is more than a lover, he is your best friend. He is out there Rummy I know it, because you are a strong woman, and you are asking yourself the right questions, thus you are gettin your spirit and heart prepared. Find out what you really want for you, and don't listen to anyone else, because God gave you the heart you have and He will never lead you astray.

I also wnat you all to know that as I write this, that yes, I am taking my own medicine as we speak, and it is a some what bitter pill to swallow.

I want to thank you for putting this subject here Rummy, it has really helped me to dicover more about myself, and I will be praying for you.

[Lady Alyx]

hmmmm what is polyamourous?????

well I always believed in fairy tales and the prince or ahem pirate on a white horse...ahem shining ship..he he he....but I always thought what if that person is on the other side of the world and you would never know it.....so you take the next best thing that comes into your life and grab it and hope and pray it works....after awhile on this earth you start to look for the traits that are a absolute no no....(nut cases for sure).....so for a gal that is still looking for her Pirate....(well perhaps lucky currently within the last 7 months...crossing fingers)....I hope one day to have that darned ring on me finger....

[Biker]

Duh me, when I saw the title, How long does it take? I sure did think of something else....mind in the gutter as always...

yes and yer blocking my view thank ya verra much....

[oderlesseye]

ONE AT A TIME ! is the one :)

[Bonnie Red Weasel]

hmmmm what is polyamourous?????

It's swallowing reality is what it is. But I don't think that being open to sexual experiences with others cannot be concurrent with sharing a life with your one true love. Your soul can only belong to one. But many other parts of us are meant to be shared.

If both partners are open to, and happy with, a polyamorous way of life, I think it can be a beautiful way to live and love. But I don't think it's for everyone.

[Mad Matt]

Aye, I've heard say there are some that don't like sharin'. That was one o' the first lessons I learned in the schoolhouse!

[Jonathan Hawks]

See, I be one fer the when it happen ya know. Ta trust in anything else will get yer heart broke. The right one be there, it just be findin em or er.

[Asukaru]

I'm all for the 'when it happens, you'll know'.

One thing that my mother always says, something I find annoying but is an interesting point, is that it could be someone you already know - it's just not the right time yet.

[Lady Seahawke]

I personally don't believe in any of it any more...simple as that

[bailang]

I'm all for the 'when it happens, you'll know'.

One thing that my mother always says, something I find annoying but is an interesting point, is that it could be someone you already know - it's just not the right time yet.

thats be the bloody truth as was me case I's knew me wife fer 6 years before any kind a relationship happened

[Tudor MercWench Smith]

MercenaryWench You are wise beyond your years. Stay single a while.,take your time and choose wisely.,I could not have said what you said as well as you said it, but you said exactly what I wanted to say. Did I say that right ? There I said it

Too bad for me that I can never manage to follow my own advice then . . .

But I still have to seriously pitch my vote in with the timing thing. In that, 'someone you already know, but the time isn't right' . . . got a potential one of those right now, but I keep pushing the timing . . .

[Asukaru]

But I still have to seriously pitch my vote in with the timing thing. In that, 'someone you already know, but the time isn't right' . . . got a potential one of those right now, but I keep pushing the timing . . .

I did that once - it didn't really work out so well, but then the situation was weird. Hopefully you have a lot more luck with yours.

thats be the bloody truth as was me case I's knew me wife fer 6 years before any kind a relationship happened 

Aye, my mom had the same situation. Never ever thought she'd end up with my dad, but life had other plans