17 Signs of a bad faire

[Biker]

The Top 17 things to look for at faire next year By pennfo

The Top 17 things to look for at faire next year

17. The castle and village are made entirely of Legos.

16. Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to cocker spaniel leg.

15. Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest."

14. Eight- minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves."

13. "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh

California roll!"

12. Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.

11. The mead is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.

10. Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British

Accents.

9. Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.

8. You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge.

7. Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.

6. Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off.

5. Featured event: Johnson-Jousting!

4. Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando.

3. "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?"

2. Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!"

1. Jousting Crips and Bloods.

[Rumba Rue]

Very funny indeed! Course you forgot these:

1. When the costumed people you meet have their cell phones attached and are easily visible to the public (would you believe I got a picture from some people and her cell phone was easily seen on her outfit? Yup)

2. When everybody has to have a name that is some relation to that Jack Sparrow guy.

3. When Ded Bob doesn't tell someone to sit down.

4. When that big cup of lemonade barely fills that big mug you have

5. When an event offical plans a pirate fest in August on the hottest days of the year...(oh and by the way, it's in June for 2006...what part of 'hot' didn't this guy get?)

[Christine]

And here's another, the only costumed people is you and the people who came with you. The people who put the faire on are not dressed up. They also have no vendors, just some food. It was a total joke! It was at the church in Oceanside, a very pretty setting, but not at a good faire at all!

[Patrick Hand]

When the privys smell better than the food court.........

I wouldn't say that the wet chemese contest was a sign of a bad Faire..... but then again... I'm a Male sexist pigdog about such things.....

[callenish gunner]

when you hear pub songs set to K C & the sunshine bands "shake yer booty" shake your shakespeare....or some guy on a moblie carolon (church bells keyboard) playin' van gelis's tubular bells time and again all bloody day!!!

i don't know is this just me

and every walkway in the faire is freshly blacktopped(real period)

and where the faire owners never dress the part just golf shirts and khaki shorts

[BeaufortsPyrateWench]

3. When Ded Bob doesn't tell someone to sit down.

Rue....I know "One" of the bobs...Have o share that with Muggsie!

But how true..bonk or be bonked