Why Mr. T is tougher than Chuck Norris.

[Pew]

1. When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.

2. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

3.Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.

4. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

5. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

6. A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools.

7. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

8. Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.

9. Mr. T once went to Boston. We refer to this event as the Boston Massacre.

10. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

11. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

12. Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.

13. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

14. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

15. Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

16. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

17. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

18. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

19. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

20. Mr. T personifies pity. Should there be no fools, there would be no Mr. T.

21. Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.

22. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.

23. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway

24. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.

25. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

26. Mr. T does not have to kick the crap out of you, crap runs out of your ass in fright when you come into contact with Mr. T.

27. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

28. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

29. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.

30. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

[Cap'n Pete Straw]

There are a number of very very funny webpages all devoted to Mr. T versus... everyone.

You name it, and Mr. T faced it. Fought it. Then pitied it.

Hang on a second, and I will find the link and post it...

[Cap'n Pete Straw]

Hah! Found it! These are a riot, and I recommend you access this link, then pick out your favorite listed opponent and read/watch (some are comics, some animated cartoons... MOST funny, some stupid.)

Mr. T vs. Everything

Enjoy.